FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 21, 2022

SHOCKtober Day 21

I've mentioned Great Value Slashers already this month, if only in passing, and lawd knows this here blog's earliest days were all but dedicated solely to them. But as time marches on...well, some people might get face wrinkles, but not me! Instead I just get more and more love wrinkles for those off-brand economy slashers.

This is the point where I would normally say that "love wrinkles" isn't a euphemism, but you know what? It's the holidays, I'll let you make up your own mind.

Anyway, one that's given me plenty of love wrinkles over time (gross) is The House on Sorority Row. While it did spawn a remake during the bro horror era, it's a movie that often feels overlooked and/or underseen when one gets down to the business of slasher talk. I don't get it! I dig the way it veers into mystery and secret-keeping, like a proto-I Know What You Did Last Summer. It's surprisingly dark and sometimes violent; I mean, a decapitated head ends up in a toilet! It's got a creepy-ass costume on the killer! There's wanton waterbed violence! There's a (sort of) wall person! And excuse me, it's not only got Harley Jane Kozak of television's Santa Barbara, it's also got Eileen goddamn Davidson of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. What I'm saying is, The House on Sorority Row fills in every space on my bingo card. (Again: euphemism? YOU decide!)

What it's got most of all, however, is today's favorite character...


Have you ever seen anything more perfect in your whole entire life? No, you have not! Honestly, that line reading alone fills in all the spaces on my bingo card. And YES that is a euphemism!

For what, exactly? You decide!


James Lewis said...

I can't stop laughing. Wonderful.

Steve said...

Watched this last night. Was she supposed to be Southern or something? I like how she just noped out of the movie and tried to go to bed like it was a normal night.

Glen said...

Did you ever listen to the podcast "Attack of the Queerwolf"? It's mostly defunct these days, but their opening music was a remix of this line. It was a joy.