FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 4, 2015

The Quizzening!

So you've seen some horror movies and now you think you're all big. Well, it's time to test your knowledge of the genre in the form of...A TEST. No Googling the answers!

1. Michael Myers is known as “The Shape”, but what was he originally called?
- The Pile
- The Thing
- The Ennui
- The Loaf

2. What is the title of Sergio Martino’s most famous giallo film?
- A Scream in a Velvet Mouth
- The Seven Deaths of Lucinda
- Hold This Knife While I Murder You
- Dancing with a Thousand Eyeballs at Midnight

3. Which film belongs in the 80s workout horror genre alongside Death Spa and Killer Workout?
- Murder Gym
- Fitness Murder
- Stretch, Sweat, Kill!
- Stretch, Sweat, Die!

4. Which horror icon faced off against Freddy Krueger in the 2003 film Freddy vs. Jason?
- Pumpkinhead
- Chucky
- Mrs Voorhees
- Mrs Garrett

5. In Psycho, Norman Bates famously dresses as his own ________
- motel
- crippling insecurity
- hair
- private Idaho

6. Choose the famous horror movie tagline:
- If this movie doesn’t make your skin crawl…you don’t have any skin!
- Who will survive and will they give me a ride to the airport?
- Abby doesn’t need a man anymore. She’s going to Lilith Fair!
- When there’s no more room in Hell, build more Hell, duh

7. Pinhead is the most famous of Hellraiser’s Cenobites. Who is the least famous?
- Chompy
- Axeface
- Fallopia
- Greg

Circle your answers and submit them via haunted videotape.

Nov 2, 2015

SLASHERS 101 for you!

This comic is no longer available! It may return from the dead at some point...but will it be the same?? Regardless, I will surely announce any updates and also update this update should the time come. Thanks pals.

Hello! To celebrate...something...I don't know, to celebrate whatever you feel like celebrating today, I've made my mini-comic Slashers 101 available for download. It's free! So if you want to learn something about slasher movies, or if you want the opportunity to say "I knew all that already, I didn't learn shit!" then knock yourself out. Here's that link again, woo!

Nov 1, 2015

...and that's a wrap!

Wow, another SHOCKtober is but a not-so-distant memory. It is hard to say goodbye, but undoubtedly we will all look back on this past month with a tearful twinkle in our eyes forever and ever! Dizzying highs, depressing lows, creamy was a month that constantly gave us, you know, something.

Have the hidden gems I discovered allowed me to exorcise my Netflix prejudices? Will I no longer give movies a cold shoulder because of crappy computer cover art and/or low ratings from Netflix's moronic rating system? Maybe, but probably not! I would like to say yes for sure, but I feel those doubts wiggling around in the back of my brainstem. There are just too many movies out there to watch, and for me to give one a go when it looks like garbage...I need some word of mouth or something, you know? SHOCKtober has been great because I've been forced to watch things–I can't tell you how many times this month I gave a hefty sigh before clicking play–but I know myself too well to think the "hey, that wasn't bad!" movies will radically influence my future behavior, even if it should.

Overall, I'd say there were more treats than craps, which is always good. There were very few instances where I just wanted to kill myself because the movie was so bad. In fact, I'd call the month a large success. Hooray! Just to be sure, I'm gonna break it all down by ratings right now.


Starry Eyes
All Cheerleaders Die
The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears
Berberian Sound Studio
We Are What We Are


Wes Craven's New Nightmare
[REC] 3
The Vampire's Coffin
Jug Face (so close to putting this one in my pants, I can't quite decide honestly)
The Canal
Zombeavers (it's terrible and not even good terrible, it's unexplainable)


The Omen III: The Final Conflict
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (this one hurts)
[REC] 4
Dead Snow


Maniac (I am so in the minority on this one, I can't believe it, it makes me question everything ever)
Stonehearst Asylum
Dead Within


Baby Blues
Devil Seed
V/H/S 2

Wow, hmm, it's actually fairly evenly divided! That's unexpected. The good stuff is so good that the not so good stuff is already fading away. Good job, brain! And honestly, if sitting through some trash was the price I had to pay to finally watch the month's two big winners, then so be it. I am still thinking about We Are What We Are and Berberian Sound Studio and they've been added to my ongoing faves list for sure. (And to everyone who recommended The Duke of Burgundy after my praise of Berberian...bless. I watched it last night and I'm in love.) SHOCKtober rules! Thanks for tuning in, y'all, it's been grand!

Except for Devil Seed, that was terrible.