FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 2, 2022

SHOCKtober Day 2


After yesterday's wigifesto here at The Old Final Girl Place, you might be surprised to see that today's featured favorite character is in fact an actual character and real human person. To this I say: hey, I have no idea where the rickety-ass haunted minecart that is SHOCKtober will take us, so let's just sit back, pop a handful of Brach's Mellowcreme® Autumn Mix, and enjoy today's stop...


I love One Dark Night because it is a movie that truly has it all: 

  • oozy corpses
  • tasseled boots
  • a clique of girls who call themselves The Sisters and wear matching purple satin jackets that say SISTERS on the back in a cool font
  • Meg Tilly
  • feathered-and-beaded roach clips
  • a dead, murderous, telekinetic Russian psychic
  • E.G. motherfucking Daily
  • a finale replete with dazzling effects courtesy of WETA Spencer's Gifts

and most importantly...Kitty! Who has a toothbrush in her mouth for at least 95% of her screentime.

Whether she's walking the halls of school or the halls of a local mausoleum, she's chewing on that brush. It's really weird and really gross and I love it!

Late in the proceedings, Carol finally gives voice to the question that has been plaguing the audience for at least an hour: umm, what's the deal with the toothbrush?

"I don't know," says Kitty. "I guess I just like the way it tastes."

Sure, don't we all enjoy the cool refreshing sensation that a minty flavored toothpaste provides? At some point in human history, somebody said "I would like to experience the cool refreshing sensation of a minty flavored toothpaste even when I am not brushing my teeth" and then they invented the breath mint. At some other point in human history, someone else said "I would like to experience the cool refreshing sensation of a minty flavored toothpaste even when I am not brushing my teeth, and also I really enjoy chewing" and then they invented gum. I'm sure these goods were readily available in 1982, but Kitty is like "Fuck that, I'm not spending money on mints and/or gum, I'll just suck on my used toothbrush all day to the disgust of my friends and, once blogs are invented, to the delight of some horror blogger." And here we are!

But Kitty's toothbrush provides her with more than mere flavors and bacteria. It is perhaps her only real friend! In death (spoiler), she reaches out not for Carol or any of the Sisters, but for toothbrush, her beloved companion to the end.

Let us hope that toothbrush and Kitty crossed the river Styx together, and now they're grossing everyone out in Heaven.


Riccardo said...

Okay, you made me look. It's a bit light, being PG and all, but the cast is pretty good, and I'm not used to seeing Keven Peter Hall out of monster costumes (he plays one of the basketball players). Kitty and her toothbrush are a hoot, but my favorite character might be the gal standing bored outside the arcade (Lucy) who dispassionately answers all the boyfriend's questions like some teenage all-seeing oracle. Also, it's funny to find out that Poltergeist was not the only PG-rated movie in 1982 to have a melting face.

Apparently the presence of Adam West has some people referring to this as "One Dark Knight."

Stacie Ponder said...

Ah yes the 45-year-old 17-year-old! I love her! There is so much good stuff in the movie that I failed to mention, from her to Adam West to Olivia McKenna's fingernails to the old dude who works in the cemetery and yells in what sounds like 100% gibberish...One Dark Night never stops giving, I swear.

Lyra215 said...

Okay but her reaching for the toothbrush as she exales her last breath sounds hysterical, i have to watch this movie