FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

May 7, 2014

MANIAC MADNESS: Yet More Round One Action!


Oh man, yesterday was pretty brutal, what with all the choosing and everything. We had our first upset as the Mutant Family of The Hills Have Eyes showed Wrong Turn's cannibal family who's the king of the genetically-deficient mountain. The closest race saw The Creeper edge out That Fat Cenobite by a mere seven votes, Breathtaking, simply breathtaking. Here's your updated bracket (a printable blank one can be downloaded here).


Now don't think you can relax, because today's going to be even worse!


Okay, I admit...Leatherface of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is such an icon, he'll probably win. But I know that Madman Marz has some real fans out there, so make yerselves heard by clicking.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/slashers-psychos-leatherface-4-vs-madman-marz-13/question-4311845/" title="SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: LEATHERFACE (4) vs MADMAN MARZ (13)">SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: LEATHERFACE (4) vs MADMAN MARZ (13)</a>


WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK ME TO CHOOSE WHICH OF MY EYES I PREFER, CONTEST. Mrs. Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th) has age and wisdom, Angela (Sleepaway Camp) has that stare and a metric fuckton of weirdness. LET ME LOVE THEM BOTH.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/slashers-psychos-mrs-voorhees-6-vs-angela-11/question-4311855/" title="SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: MRS. VOORHEES (6) vs ANGELA (11)">SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: MRS. VOORHEES (6) vs ANGELA (11)</a>


The Birds is undeniably a masterpiece. Birdemic: Shock and Terror is undeniably a complete shitshow. HOWEVER. Whilst the tangible (and often real) birds of The Birds terrorize and/or murder the likes of Suzanne Pleshette, Tippi Hedren, and Veronica Cartwright, the clip art birds of Birdemic explode. So, you know, I don't know what to tell you.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/animals-monsters-the-birds-4-vs-the-exploding-birds-13/question-4311869/" title="ANIMALS & MONSTERS: THE BIRDS (4) vs THE EXPLODING BIRDS (13)">ANIMALS & MONSTERS: THE BIRDS (4) vs THE EXPLODING BIRDS (13)</a>


Okay, this matchup is pretty weird, but whaddayou gonna do? The slugs of Slugs...well, look at that one! Honestly, that slug should probably take home the Maniac Madness grand prize. But this is a cheerocracy democracy, and maybe Wishmaster fans (there must be some) will be all "Not today, slug...not today."

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/animals-monsters-slugs-6-vs-the-djinn-11/question-4311871/" title="ANIMALS & MONSTERS: SLUGS (6) vs THE DJINN (11)">ANIMALS & MONSTERS: SLUGS (6) vs THE DJINN (11)</a>


Carmilla (I tend to think of Ingrid Pitt in The Vampire Lovers, or maybe Meg Tilly in Carmilla) versus the one and only Naked Space Vampire of Lifeforce. Good luck to them, good luck to you, and may He Who Walks Behind the Rows have mercy on us all.

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/ghosts-vampires-zombies-demons-carmilla-4-vs-naked-space-vampire-13/question-4311879/" title="GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: CARMILLA (4) vs NAKED SPACE VAMPIRE (13)">GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: CARMILLA (4) vs NAKED SPACE VAMPIRE (13)</a>


Tell me, dear reader, which ghostly denizen of the Overlook Hotel do you prefer- the creepy Grady Twins, who just want to play forever (totally reasonable) or the soggy, corroded old tub lady, who just wants to make out (also totally reasonable)?

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/ghosts-vampires-zombies-demons-the-grady-twins-6-vs-old-tub-lady-11/question-4311893/" title="GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: THE GRADY TWINS (6) vs OLD TUB LADY (11)">GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: THE GRADY TWINS (6) vs OLD TUB LADY (11)</a>


Another weird matchup, sure...but it's a deadly weird matchup! Can the snowsuit-clad killer rage baby dwarves of The Brood defeat the killer swirls of Uzumaki? I guess we'll find out, won't we. WON'T WE

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/weirdos-weird-st-killer-dwarves-4-vs-killer-swirls-13/question-4311895/" title="WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: KILLER DWARVES (4) vs KILLER SWIRLS (13)">WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: KILLER DWARVES (4) vs KILLER SWIRLS (13)</a>


Holy crap, another tough one. Esther the Orphan or Cathy of Cathy's Curse...I can't with this choice, I just can't. And you can't make me!

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/weirdos-weird-st-esther-6-vs-cathy-11/question-4311899/" title="WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: ESTHER (6) vs CATHY (11)">WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: ESTHER (6) vs CATHY (11)</a>

Well phew, that's it for today. Polls are open until midnight EST!

11 comments:

Marc said...

Just wanna say I am LOVING this and eagerly await each day's new match up. And this shit is getting so much tougher with each round, I just know there's going to be much agonising decision making very soon! Bring it on!!

(Also, props on the 'Bring It On' quote.)

matango said...

Ingrid Pitt versus the Nude Space Vampiress from Lifeforce? That's the hardest decision I've had to make in a long time. A long time. I went with Carmilla, but I immediately regretted my choice when I remembered the time the Nude Space Vampiress made Patrick Stewart vomit up a bloody version of her.

I love that movie. One of my favorite things about Tobe Hooper movies (at least TCM, Poltergeist, and Lifeforce) is that everyone is freaking out at the end of them. Sally, the Freeling family, and London are all "FUUUUUUUU-," rather than the more standard, "We survived, but the world is such a dark place."

B.E. Earl said...

I love the Naked Space Vampire. She's soooo nekkid. But Carmilla...that's a tough choice. But I'm going with the dog on this one.

Stacie Ponder said...

Yay, someone got my Bring It On joke. I have such fondness for that movie.

Today's post has me really wanting to watch Lifeforce again, it's so crazy. Hmm...bet it looks great on Blu-Ray...

Thanks for playing along, guys!

vampy said...

The Spiral Pattern is much better than some dwarfs!

Chris Otto said...

Cathy! Cathy! Cathy! PLEASE WIN, CATHY! I have you in my Final Four.

eightieshair said...

Man, Grady Twins vs Bathtub Lady was an agonizing choice.

On the other hand, going with Naked Space Vampire was an easy decision. I saw LifeForce as a teenager, so NSV will always have a place in my heart.

Marvin the Macabre said...

Ingrid Pitt was a goddess.

John Gotham said...

I hated having to choose between the twins and yuck tub mcnasty. The twins are freakier now that I'm an adult, but when I watched it the first time I was like six. Tub lady definitely put a bigger fracture in my psyche.

Evol Kween said...

Stacie, I just have to say that you are so frikkin' awesome for going putting this whole thing together. SO. Much. Fun!!!!!!

Stacie Ponder said...

Thanks very much! I'm glad you're digging it. I sure am. And John Gotham, "Yuck Tub McNasty" is a great name for...something...a bar? Maybe?