FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

May 13, 2014

MANIAC MADNESS: The Elite Eight!


When she beat Carmilla in Round One, I really thought nothing could stop Naked Space Vampire. Sadly, though, her Cinderella story has come to an end. I hope you're happy.


Only eight contenders left, wow. It will be a tough day for all of us; blood will be drawn, tears will be shed, and division champions will be crowned. Now get ta votin'!


<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/slashers-psychos-jason-voorhees-1-vs-michael-myers-2/question-4321121/" title="SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: JASON VOORHEES (1) vs MICHAEL MYERS (2)">SLASHERS & PSYCHOS: JASON VOORHEES (1) vs MICHAEL MYERS (2)</a>


<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/animals-monsters-pinhead-1-vs-vampire-puppy-7/question-4321125/" title="ANIMALS & MONSTERS: PINHEAD (1) vs VAMPIRE PUPPY (7)">ANIMALS & MONSTERS: PINHEAD (1) vs VAMPIRE PUPPY (7)</a>


<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/ghosts-vampires-zombies-demons-dracula-1-vs-nosferatu-2/question-4321127/" title="GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: DRACULA (1) vs NOSFERATU (2)">GHOSTS, VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, DEMONS: DRACULA (1) vs NOSFERATU (2)</a>


<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/weirdos-weird-st-carrie-white-1-vs-silver-sphere-3/question-4321131/" title="WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: CARRIE WHITE (1) vs SILVER SPHERE (3)">WEIRDOS & WEIRD S**T: CARRIE WHITE (1) vs SILVER SPHERE (3)</a>

Well, it's all in your hands now, dear readers. Jason vs Michael? Dracula vs Nosferatu? You know, a sizable portion of a class I took in college- “Spectres, Monsters, and the Mind: The Gothic and Grotesque in Anglo-German Film and Fiction”- was dedicated to that very contest. What's more frightening: the threat you can easily see, or the threat you invite into your home? Yes, I looked up the class name so I'd get it right. That class introduced me to The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and I wrote a paper on one specific passage in Frankenstein. In other words, it was fucking awesome.

Come on, Vampire Puppy, all my hopes and dreams are riding on you! Pinhead ain't nothin'! Take that goofy bastard down! Polls open until midnight EST! Exclamation mark!

12 comments:

Chris Otto said...

My rationales: Michael Myers seemingly has more paranormal powers on his side than Jason; Although Nosferatu is cool as hell, he began life as a copyright violation of the Dracula tale and therefore must lose; Vampire Puppy all the way; Carrie White would take one look at the silver sphere and send it flying off in the opposite direction.

MARTIN said...

Okay, so I'm fashionably late to the party... but no Candyman??? Why no Candyman?

Marc said...

THIS IS SO STRESSFUL YET I CAN'T STOP

Stacie Ponder said...

Well, lots of people and ghosts and things and weird shit had to be left off. But next time! Candyman for sure!

Will said...

Team Vampire Puppy. C'mon guys. Let's prove that democracy works.

rikp said...

> but no Candyman???

I picture the monsters on the sidelines (like, for example, Frankenstein's Monster) muttering things like "If me out there *me* cream 'em!" Belial is simply jumping up and down in his basket, flailing his arms and screaming incoherently at all the action.

Isn't "Pinhead Vs. Vampire Puppy" the next direct-to-video Hellraiser flick?

Stacie Ponder said...

It's actually a Vampire Puppy flick that they added cenobites to. It doesn't make any sense!

vampy said...

See, you think the Vampire Puppy has the element of surprise, but as Hellraiser II taught us, Pinhead is not easily tricked.

Andrew said...

I can't believe Fire-Farting Roaches were eliminated by Vampire Puppy. I mean, i understand- I voted for Vampire Puppy before, too, but-

FIRE-FARTING ROACHES, MAN! It's like a perfect storm of things you're simultaneously afraid of and fascinated by!

Has anyone else commented on how many great band names there are on this list?

Colleen said...

I'm being beaten in all categories except one: Has anyone else commented on how Carrie has taken down all of her opponents so handily? I think she might take this whole thing.

I want a shirt that says "Jason Forever".

And finally, please don't let this be the last of Vampire Puppy! He must continue because otherwise, where's the cute factor? And without that, what's the point of living?

Dead In Hell said...

First Naked Space Vampire goes down, now my precious spheres lose to Sissy Spacek. What a world.

eightieshair said...

Whoa...Dracula and Nosferatu are tied!

I assume that, as blog owner, Stacie casts the deciding vote?