FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Sep 3, 2009

will you go?

The final one-sheet for Sorority Row has been released. So long, weird pile o'coeds!

I find it curious that this poster is being used for marketing, because it clearly gives away a major plot point: the killer plays a deadly, sadistic game in which s/he lures young women into a macabre photo booth! Is it the booth itself which is eeeevil- cursed, mayhaps? Does the booth kill the girls (via poisoned gas or pointy things), or does the killer make the girls pose as s/he kills them? I can't wait to find out!

And find out, I'm almost ashamed to admit, I shall. The film, which opens on September 11, is likely to be a trainwreck, but I don't really care. Why? Well, I'm a fan of the original, which is usually good motivation to stay away from a remake- oddly enough that's not true for me this time. In fact, I'm hoping that Sorority Row will help facilitate a re-release of the original on DVD, 'cause it's out of print, hard to find, and wicked expensive.

I'm also a fan of movies where friends swear to keep a secret and it comes back to bit them in the ass, ie kill them. I can't explain it- that plot is simply one of those tried-n-true formulas that endlessly entertains me.

Also, Carrie Fisher as house mother. That alone is reason enough!

So, are you going to see it? Are you even looking forward to it maybe just a little bit? It's okay, you can share. We're all friends here.

Okay, someone might laugh at you. But I swear, it'll be because of what you're wearing, not because of your taste in horror cinema.

Oh, and incidentally, when I use "s/he" to describe the killer, I don't mean "he-she".

Or do I?

UPDATE! Through the mighty power of Twitter, a kind cyberfriend clued me in that YES, House on Sorority Row is getting a 25th Anniversary DVD release in November. Yarrrrr! Why, it looks as if they're even using the sleazy original poster art for the cover, which is rarer than a unicorn with two horns! Yarrrrr x 10!

23 comments:

Hallospaceboy said...

I had no idea a this was even a remake. Tho I should have suspected. I remember that original one, from my old video store days...

And it's doubtful I will see it. I will wait to hear what you and other braver souls than me say before plunking down my cold cash for it.

Robert H. said...

Carrie is featured in the TV ads, spouting a line that I highly suspect she wrote. Alas, it also makes it clear that she's pretty much turned to hash quickly.

I'd see a horror movie if Carrie was the villian/monster - it'd be entertaining, at least.

Jay Amabile said...

the dvd I have of Sorority Row has the original poster art. They better have a bunch of extras to re-release it... I'm looking forward to this one. It looks like it'll be alot of fun. Plus, like you mentioned, Carrie Fisher should be great!

B.E. Earl said...

I'm thinking about seeing it when it drops.

Then again, it's two in the afternoon on a weekday and I'm thinking about having a beer. So...

PS - My word verification is "guzzle". You can't make this stuff up.

Hud said...

Yay! We get it next Wednesday 09/09/09 for some reason and it will have the questionable honor of being my 500th slasher flick!!

Bill Walsh said...

Hey, as sleazy pulp art goes, that's pretty good. the purple background is very effective. You'd think if she were that cold, she might pull her shift up onto her exposed right shoulder, though…

My theory is they bought the photo booth from good ol' Louie Vendredi back in the day.

Bonnie said...

I love the original House on Sorority Row; it's one of my top 10 slashers for sure, and I think the story is unusually good, the heroine is sympathetic and there are some genuinely creepy moments. Also, the DVD I have has the original cover art, which I like in spite of the fact that it makes the movie look like one of those soft-core porn horror flicks.

Stacie Ponder said...

Yeah, the original DVD release had the original poster art. Lately, though, the trend is to use stupid crappy new art rather than the old...see The Burning, Happy Birthday to Me, Night of the Creeps, Monster Squad...

I wonder why. Rights, or something, mayhaps?

Nice call, by the way, Bill. :D

thomwade said...

So...no one fears a repeat of the Black Christmas remake?

Stacie Ponder said...

"Black Christmas remake"

Don't you dare say those words in my house! :D But really, I don't know...I'm not "upset" about it (using the term loosely). Maybe because I don't have such an attachment to the original, nor to I think it's a masterpiece? I like the original alot, but it's no Black Christmas.

Nor does this remake look...not that it looks GREAT, but it lacks that certain...please excuse the expression...retarded something that Black Xmas had.

mike snoonian said...

My friend scored passes to a prescreening of this tonight but no one could make it out. Instead the wife and I are nursing whiskeys and watching Supernatural dvds. The trailer for this makes it look half way decent, though it seems like an awful elaborate prank to play on someone. Whatever happened to replacing someone's shampoo with Nair when they skank it up with your boyfriend?

Theron said...

Hmmm, macabre photo booth... Aha! The killer is obviously Brett Ratner. He's struck before. X-Men 3 anybody?

Ryne said...

I will most likely be seeing it. I've been covering it for my blog out of pure curiosity.

I'm the type of guy who would stand and gawk at a brutal accident, which I imagine this film to be... what can I say?

Dean said...

Speaking of stupidass remakes, I have just received word (and watched the trailer) of the The stepfather remake. Is there nothing sacred anymore? Terry O'Quinn should get out his powertools and get busy on these guys.

John said...

I'm actually looking forward to this one, if only because of morbid curiosity and it looks like a straight up cheesy who done it slasher, and we haven't had a one in a while. Even if it sucks, the little boy inside of me can sit through anything for boobs and blood!

If memory serves, the new DVD of the original has a commentary and the alternate ending, and some other stuff.

And P.S. a new Happy Birthday to Me DVD is being released with original artwork and original musical score in the near future.

Robert H. said...

Carrie F. was a guest on last night's Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson... the clip they ran was the extended scene of her blasting the crap out of the kitchen, and her line uncensored.

Great stuff.

thomwade said...

" Maybe because I don't have such an attachment to the original, nor to I think it's a masterpiece? I like the original alot, but it's no Black Christmas. "

I sure can't argue with that.

Stacie Ponder said...

Well, you could argue that I should have said "nor do I" instead of "nor to I", but I'm glad you're above that sort of nitpicking! :D

Jay Clarke said...

I'm not big on remakes, but this one I will probably check out. Looks like a lot of eye candy that likely won't delve into the ridiculous territory of the Black Christmas remake. Although WHY I think that, I'm not completely sure.

Stacie Ponder said...

Talked to a friend last night who went to a screening...she gave it neither thumbs up or down. Said if you go in expecting a fun slasher flick, you'll be pleased. That's exactly what I figured, so I'm psyched!

Reel Whore said...

Everytime I saw this trailer I got a splitting headache from how dumb it looked. I am still talking about how much this will blow.

But you ask will I see it? Yes. From the trailers alone I've been seduced to see just how bad it can be. Plus it's got Carrie Fisher, Rumer Willis and hot chicks!

Robson said...

Saw it yesterday.

I think Mrs. Crenshaw is The One I Would Have Saved.

Stacie Ponder said...

Ha, nice! I think Carrie Fisher should be in every movie, toting a shotgun.