FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 3, 2008

urgh! (a new blog post)

I say unto me, woe, my friends, for October has come and gone with nary a peep from yours truly. NARY A PEEP I SAY! It's a sad state of affairs, to be sure, when my most favoritest time of the year fails to spark a fire in me. But spark it did not! I've been experiencing...not exactly writer's block, per se, but rather, perhaps, writer's well as watcher's blah. Supreme unmotivation. I've hardly watched anything lately, and when I have managed to park it ("it" meaning "my ass") in front of a movie, it hasn't been horror-related. Sure, the recent Lifetime Movie Network Tori Spelling double feature got me all ten kinds of pumped (umm...back-to-back Co-Ed Call Girl and Awake to Danger, y'all...that's some mid-90s primo Tori action right there! Oh my god, I love Co-Ed Call Girl, especially when Tori's pimp starts talking about the incredible power she seems to have over men...), but that's not really Final Girl fodder. Or is it?

Meh. Though I haven't been jazzed enough lately to put cyber-pen to cyber-paper, I suppose it's time to get back on the cyber-horse. Maybe November can become the new October or something, and my love affair with horror movies will burst into passionate flames once more and I'll wonder why we ever spent a moment apart. Recommend something for me in the comments and maybe sparks will fly.

Lest you think I've simply been sitting here staring at the wall instead of posting, let me assure you: that's only 68% true. I've still been giving AMC their weekly dose of me...I just haven't been talking about it here. But today is the first day of the rest of my life, yes? Yes! So here are links to all the columns I've neglected to mention in recent...holy crap, in recent weeks. Fucking A, I suck!

- I wrote about William Castle and the lost art of gimmick movie-making.

- I created a DIY slashers guide, expanding a bit on my original Slashers 101 series.

- Great moments in gore, y'all.

- Resident Evil! I love Resident Evil!

- A wee recommendations guide.

- I reviewed Roger Corman's The Haunted Palace, starring Vincent Price and Lon Chaney, Jr. It's currently available to watch at

So, I've been writing. I've also been working some Ghostella's Haunted Tomb "magic"; I'd finished and uploaded the season finale, only to discover a need for reshoots. It's totally my fault and it's not really a big deal, but it's a pain in the arse all the same and the episode won't be up until next week, most likely. I can totally tease you about it, though, by saying this: I've got a special guest star! My special guest star is Lena Headey! Yes, the same Lena Headey who stars as Sarah Connor in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Yes, the same Lena Headey who starred as Queen Gorgo in 300. Yes (and perhaps most importantly), the same Lena Headey who starred as a super-sexy cave-diving scientist in The Cave. Lena Headey in Ghostella's Haunted Tomb? As the kids today might say, WTF? I wouldn't believe it either if I were you, but here's some photographic evidence in the form of a "screen" "cap" from the film.

I don't know why I put that in quotes; this really is a screencap.

I know; I still don't believe it, either.

So there's that. I've also been painting a bit. For all my fellow BioShock nerds out there, I made this set: a Little Sister and a Big Daddy:

FYI for all you citizens of Squaresville out there, BioShock is a video game.

I made this dizzazzling set for a friend's birthday: it's 4 glass coasters that double as picture frames, featuring Television's Greatest Geriatric Detectives!

Neat, huh? The pictures are about 1.5" square, and they come in the sweet-n-spinny holder rack thingy. If anyone is interested in...say, a set featuring horror type folks or what have you (I mean, like, coasters featuring Freddy, Michael, Jason, and Leatherface? Or Universal Monsters? Fuck yeah!), just get in touch with me. I'm open for coaster commissions and painting commissions, and I've got galleries on my MySpace and Facebook pages for you social networking goons out there.

Anytinkle, that's about that. Yeah, I think it's high time I made out with Final Girl again, don't you think? I've been so lax I have nary a clue as to what's going on in the horror world at all; I haven't checked the news in weeks. What have I missed? Have they remade the remake of Dawn of the Dead yet? Is Saw MCMVII due anytime soon? I'm so out of the loop; let's catch up over a coffee, preferably one from Dunkin' Donuts.

Oh, and one more thing before I go: You probably haven't heard much about it, but tomorrow is Election Day here in the US. I don't know what your political stripe is, and (aduh and adoy) Final Girl isn't about politics. Regardless, I'm urging any Californians out there to vote NO on Proposition 8. Let's not make discrimination legal, okay?

Here's one particularly eye-opening TV spot, which just so happens to star someone you're probably familiar with by now, Bridget McManus (stand up comedian, talk show host, Final Girl Film Club member, Ghostella's Haunted Tomb star, and my pal).

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find something to watch.


Di said...

oooh, I never post, but it's so nice to read something on here! Looking forward to Ghostella, whenever it's up....I can be patient.

Jason Soto said...

Hey Stace. Stacy. Stacey. Whichever.

Sorry you missed out on Halloween/October, but you can declare November 30th Halloween 2: This Time It's 29 Days After The Fact and spend the entire day watching the Saw movies mixed with the High School Musical Movies or something.

Anywayz, I tagged you in my blog but I admited that the odds of you going there, then doing the thing that I tagged you to do were slim, so don't feel obligated. I know you're busy with stuff or something. Anywayzz, here it be:

Still reading your blog,

Arbogast said...

I hate having to go to AMC to read you. It's like having to go watch you foxy box at The Gold Club just so we can have some quality time together. I always hated that.

Craig Blamer said...

"What have I missed? Have they remade the remake of Dawn of the Dead yet?"

Funny you should say that... but, yes they have. The Brits that is. As a five episode TV series.

It's called Dead Set. A mash-up of Big Brother and Dawn of the Dead 2004. With beaucoup Romero homages.

It's much, much better than one would think. And pretty damned R-rated for a TV show. And very funny, also.

Rhubarb said...

I second the Dead Set recommendation. It's much better than Dawn of the Dead 2004 and it's got a really bleak and harsh view of human nature. Appropriate for something about reality television. It's also a lot gorier than Dawn of the Dead.

If you haven't seen the Ginger Snaps films they're pretty good. The first two at least, don't bother with the Victorian prequel.

Isolation, a film about genetic experimentation and cow farming is kind of scary. Not gory but really gross. You can almost smell the manure.

After the fear of videotapes (Ringu) and the fear of the internet (Kairo), the next move for J-horror was the fear of geometry. Uzumaki, a totally bonkers film where the terrible power of spirals takes over a small town. It's not that scary though. Actually if you haven't seen it, you should check out Kairo which is.

I know most people don't consider it a horror movie and one of the directors went on to do Amelie but The City of Lost Children is all kinds of messed up. Significantly more disturbing than their first film Delicatessen which was actually about cannibalism (and has some freaky moments too). Theirs some business with fleas and a barrel organ that's truly disturbing.

That's all the recommendations that I can give in good conscience. There are a couple I could give in bad conscience but you probably wouldn't enjoy them.

Kmork said...

Yeah, but what about The Boneyard?*

* If only we could have seen Peter Falk as Lieutenant Columbo in the aforementioned film. (A boy is entitled to dream, isn't he?)

Anonymous said...

I recommend for you a movie that you would like to marry - Night of the Lepus - three words - Giant Killer Bunnies.

Wes Fierce said...

Props to Lena for bein down with the SP. Thats gangster.

Did someone say they havent seen City of Lost Children???

spazmo said...

Register me as a member of Laxville, too. Summer really squished the horror love outta me this year for some indiscernable reason. (The recommendations upthread are encouraging, though!)

Those Little Sister and Big Daddy renditions are magnificently stark yet somehow menacingly kinetic.

Amazing work, Stacie.
Hope tomorrow bites that worthless Proposition/Indecent Proposal right in the ass.

RJ said...


Anonymous said...

Good to see you update your page. As a new reader, I really enjoyed your reviews and horror insight. Welcome back.

How was "The Boneyard?" Looking forward to reading about it.

Anonymous said...

aka chop-a-holic who is still to lazy or senile to remember to log in.

Okay, I've been saving this one for a special occasion and it looks like you need it. Blood Freak (1972). It should fulfill your B-movie reqs for months it's so bad! Just a taste of what's in store: Guy becomes a marijuana addict (HA!) then starts working at a turkey farm where he eats some tainted turkey (sounds like a winner for T-day!), his head turns into a giant turkey head and since turkey's don't have lips he's forced to feed on stoner blood to get his fix! You know you want to watch it now don't you? Just for the morbid curiosity sake if nothing else. Lucky for you, netflix carries it so you don't have to pay honest to god money for it like I did for a 3rd rate bootleg on VHS. While it's not really an animals amuck, it almost qualifies as a crossover... Enjoy!

Arbogast said...

If you haven't seen the Ginger Snaps films they're pretty good.

If you haven't eaten ginger snaps, they're pretty good, too.

kermode said...

I'm going to have to recommend Phenomena (not to be confused with Phenomena) about Jennifer Conenlly being stalked by a slasher in a girls' school. It's like Suspiria, but 100x more insane. Avoid the American edit "Creepers." You can get it on netflix here:

The ending has basically everything awesome in the entire world all wrapped up into one 10 minute finale.

bill r. said...

You could watch...I don't know, what could I mention that you haven't seen? Calvaire? And am I really recommending that one, or just mentioning it because you may not have seen it?

I don't know. This is hard.

Sgt. Harold Lorenzo said...

Hi Stacie,

Long time reader, first (or actually, maybe second) time poster.

Movie recommendations? I can do that.

You should watch Satan's Little Helper. It's by Jeff Leiberman, who made the equally amazing Squirm and Just Before Dawn (starring George Kennedy and Jack Lemmon's son's penis). It's very witty, and also sincerely creepy. I'm hoping it becomes a franchise, as I would totally pay to see Satan's Little Helper: Satan Takes Manhattan.

Also, there's a pretty incredible French movie called 'Inside' that's went direct-to-dvd in America. It's the best horror (that I know of) since The Descent, and one of the most viscerally effective ones I've ever seen.

This is the part where I plug my new blog,
Drawings of People With Mouths In Their Stomachs
, which at this point is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. I'll be sure to link to you when I get some time to sit down and make it look pretty.

Happy belated ShockTober,

Anonymous said...

Coming out of Lurktown, USA, to say the same thing everyone does when they come out of the lurking closet: I love this blog in ways my conservative Christian family always told me were wrong, but I can't hide it anymore.

And it's really not a horror movie so much as a completely amazing piece of filmic magic, but Linda Blair's turn as a tough-talking, revenge-taking bad girl in Savage Streets is one of the greatest things I have ever seen. Plus there's Linnea Quigley turning in a surprisingly good performance as Blair's deaf younger sister.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. There are Yes on 8 signs all over my neighborhood. It's highly disappointing. But rest assured, they won't get my effing vote. That's for damn sure.

Anyhoo, good to see you back Stacie! I have been going through some serious Final Girl withdrawls over the past month. I need my smack!

Stacie Ponder said...

Woo hoo, thanks, kids!

Jason, thanks for the tag- I'll be posting my picks tomorrow. And I tend to prefer "Stacie", but only because that's how my name is spelled. :)

Arbo, I know it's weird leaving the safe, comforting confines of Final Girl to read my junk...I feel weird posting it somewhere else, too. But how many times must I tell you: Foxy Boxing is not just what I DO, it's who I AM.

Old Dark, I'm going to have to check out this Dead Set ASAP. It sounds absolutely cool.

Rhubarab, I know I'm in the extreme minority here, but I wasn't that big a fan of Ginger Snaps. I liked the idea of it far more than I liked the execution of it. Don't hold it against me!

I've seen City of Lost Children, but it's been a while and now I've got the urge thanks for that!

I've never heard of Isolation, but I'm intrigued.

kmart, The Boneyard is still sitting on my shelf in the shrink-wrap. I KNOW! I'm saving it for some sort of special occasion or something, one I haven't had time for recently. It's probably ridiculous of me, but I want to really make an event out of taking a virgin to the prom or something.

absinthe, I've seen- and loved- Night of the Lepus. Giant killer bunnies are, indeed, boss.

chop-a-holic, Blood Feast...I think that's been on my list for a while. Lynn Lowry is in that, right?

Robert, thanks for the heads up- I've got Creepers on one of those cheapo 50-packs, but it sounds like the original is worth seeking out. It's one of those films I've known about but have simply never come across.

Bill, Calvaire is one that's completely new to me. I looked it up and it sounds rad, though, so thanks!

Joel, I loves me some Lieberman, but I've yet to see SLH. And every time I've almost picked up Inside, I've wimped out! L-l-l-lame.

Anonymous said...

so I feel compelled to recommend the B(eautiful)-grade film Black Sheep. the 2006 one which stars the sheep. not the 1996 one which stars the Farley-man... unless, you know, you're into that sort of thing...

(because it's about killer sheep, and that's just what everyone needs to cool down after a long election day, of course)

SikeChick said...

I just watched Black Sheep this past weekend and I agree that it would make great election day wind-down viewing. I am between Netflix myself right now, patiently waiting for the Netflix fairy to bring me horror goodness tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Chop-a-holic again.

Not Blood FEAST which is a classic unto itself but Blood FREAK. A truly tasteless treat in the vein of Beast of Yucca flats meets Reefer Madness... kinda. It's terrible, it's so bad you WILL make everyone within arms reach watch it. Okay it's not as great as giant jetski eating sharks but in a grainy 70's way. Here's a quick cheating linkee to netflix

Let me know what you think.

Anonymous said...

Lena Hedley?

Viva le Sommersverse! (She was in "The Jungle Book". Never watched it, though.)

Anyways...happy belated Halloween.
(Some people thought I was Nurse Rachet...what?)

Oh, and if you have a PS2 or Wii, I recommend "Dokapon Kingdom". It's like "Mario Party", "Monopoly" and classic RPGs, so you get some really cartoony monsters to battle. :)

Shannon the Movie Moxie said...

Welcome back Stacie! We missed you :)

Arbogast said...

Calvaire is one that's completely new to me.

No it isn't!


Stacie Ponder said...


Who are you again?

Seriously, sometimes I have a brain like a sieve.

Okay, MOST of the time.

Anonymous said...

chop-a-holic yet again jeez is this getting old or what? Okay, I remember talking about a german flick where a priest pushes a mime down a flight of stairs... I was wrong, it's not german, it's spanish. The 'merican name is The Day of the Beast or if 'tu desean in espanol' El Dia del la Bestia. Only bad news is, no DVD release and the VHS while out there for cheap is OOP and probably a dubbed and not subtitled version. If nothing else, it's worth it just to see a mime take a header down some subway stairs! Here's the imdb linkfor a better synopsys:

Anonymous said...

This is Kestrell from over at LiveJournal--I'm hoping Blogger lets me post, as I don't even remember my Blogger password.

Anyway, in the small world dept., my husband and favorite fan boy is one of the people who worked on BioShock. I got to go to the launch party, which featured a seven foot highh statue of Big Daddy and waitresses dressed like Sisters, giving doses of something alcoholic and green in syringes, which I made a point to try, because I'm a sucker for green stuff served in syringes, or test tubes, or...

Anyway, movie recommendations. It came out a few years ago, and I don't know why I like it, but I have watched The Bone Key a few times and bought my own copy, even. Also, the seventies Creature Double Feature kid in me recommends Satan's Cheerleaders and The Deathmaster. The first is just silly, but the second shared the bejeebus out of me when I was a kid, think Charlie Manson meets Dracula.

Anonymous said...

Luckily for you, there are those out there who felt the need to fully explore Tori's "Co-Ed Call Girl" (and so much more). Enjoy:

kermode said...

I'm going to also have to suggest The Eyes of Laura Mars. Faye Dunaway! Lesbian Super Models! Rene Auberjonois!

Stacie Ponder said...

"Not Blood FEAST which is a classic unto itself but Blood FREAK."

Yeah, "Feast" was just a typo. Me am have stoopid fingers. I have heard of Blood Freak, I swear!

Eyes of Laura Mars is rad! I love that movie. I reviewed it for a defunct blog...I should import the review or something.

Kestrell, that's friggin' cool!! Tell your husband he had a hand in making a GREAT game. And if he knows anyone who'd be interested in buying a pair of paintings.....