FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Mar 23, 2006

Final Girl Film Club

Welcome to the first meeting of the Final Girl Film Club...the film club for cool people. And man, do I mean cool. Don't you want to be a member now? No problem- I'll tell you how it works. It's just like the Oprah Book Club, but with less money and less influence- but with 500% more swearing, so it all balances out.

Basically, it goes like this. I'm going to give the name of a movie I've never seen before and a date on which I'll be reviewing said movie. I'll give plenty of time so anyone who wants to be cool and play along can watch the movie in the interim. Then when review time comes, the comments section here will be alive with activity! Everyone will have something to say because everyone will have watched the movie. Ingenious, I tells ya! We'll agree, we'll disagree, we'll call each other names, we'll cyber-punch each other, then we'll cyber-hug and laugh through our tears to ease the pain. If you've got a blog or a website, we can synchronize our watches and run concurrent reviews, even- much like Brennon Slattery and I did for Strange Behavior. Yes, that's right- we can all take part and discuss the movie choice. Won't that be fun? It'll be like we're all holding cyber-hands. It'll be like we're all watching it together, sitting on a giant cyber-couch eating cyber-Twizzlers and...well, you get the idea. "Cyber-" is the word of the day. Try to use it in a sentence!

See that photo on the left? That's the box art for the introductory choice in the Final Girl Film Club: the 1999 slasher flick Bloody Murder. Look, it's a guy in a hockey mask holding a chainsaw. What's not to like? For some reason, the mask and the chainsaw remind me of other horror movies I've seen. Hmm. Anyway, here's the blurb on the movie from Netflix:

Trevor Moorehouse isn't screaming bloody murder -- he's committing it! A dozen counselors arrive at Camp Placid Pines and receive a warning from a wizened landscaper: There may be a crazy man in the woods. Of course, they pay no attention until they start disappearing one by one! Has the urban legend come to life to wreak havoc on their dwindling numbers?

Ohhhh yeah. The movie can be found on Netflix right here for those of you who want to play along and get your movies in the mail. You may notice that Bloody Murder has an average rating of two stars; I, however, am not worried, homies. I laugh in the face of two stars! I give two middle fingers to two stars!

The movie: Bloody Murder
The review date: April 3


Anonymous said...

As the girl who lives with you, I want to be the first member of the FGFC. Of course, I won't stay awake for the entire movie rendering all my comments worthless in the end.

Let's link cyber-pinkies and skip off into the cyber-sunset!

The Retropolitan said...

I'm in!

The Retropolitan said...

Something's screwy with Blogger comments. The word verification gave me "SMENITA" twice, on two different computers, and it wouldn't let me post until now.

John Barleycorn said...

Rachel, you may live with Stacie, but I'm the first member of the club. Unfortunately I can't dual-blog this one: I saw it a few years ago and honestly don't want to put myself through the suffering again.

Be warned. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It's so cheap most of the "scary" scenes are shot during the daytime. The daytime. There's nothing scary about birds chirping and the sun cresting majestically over the hilltops in picturesque Canada....

Good luck, har har har.

Stacie Ponder said...

GIRLS! Please don't fuss...there's plenty of Final Girl to go around. And
besides...we're ALL number one. There, isn't that life-affirming?

Sorry youve seen this one already, Brennon. Dammit! Now you've gone and
scared everyone away with your warnings. Still...I must perservere. The
hale and hearty will join me on my journey! The hale and hearty who haven't
seen it yet, anyway.

And daytime can be scary! You, my friend, obviously haven't seen
Curtains. Onward, club members!

The verification is still SMENITA...I think Smenita was the girl who rang me
out at the grocery store yesterday. Why is she now trying to take over
Blogger comments??

Anonymous said...

I'm in too! I've already added the movie to my netflix list. :)

John Barleycorn said...

I didn't mean to squabble. My pot roast boiled over and my husband won't stop slapping me. Ohhh, it's a bad day to be a crabby britches!

John Barleycorn said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stacie Ponder said...

Come on, Brennie, what are you waiting for? Do it, man- DO IT! Join ussssss....

...or Smenita will kick your ass.

Unknown said...

Count me in . . . If there's still room . . . :) Just added the movie to my NetFlix queue . . . !

Steve said...

I'd totally be in, but my Netflix takes a two week round trip from here in Frankfurt, but I look forward to reading about it.

Although, with three people adding Bloddy Murder to their queue, Netflix might already be sold out of it, haha.