FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 15, 2005

Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
OK, who's friggin' idea was this movie? My god. This was the last F13 I saw in a theatre, back in 1989, and I remember thinking it was terrible. I was right!

Jason on a Boat. That's really what this movie should be called, because 3/4 of it takes place on a big huge boat, during a high school graduation party. Oh, uh, the students are all from around Crystal Lake- I guess that whole "Forest Green" idea went out the window.

Jason was still on the bottom of the lake from Part VII, but...sigh...a passing boat dropped anchor and caught on an underwater power line. The electrical charge from this passed through Jason and resurrected him yet again.

This movie is tied at the top of my Hatin' List with Part V. The characters in VIII are not nearly as irritating as those in V, but there's an ugliness to this one that really bothered me. Everyone is really awful and mean. While the actual killings have been more brutal in other installments, Jason is much more sadistic here than ever before. Rather than quickly dispatch his victims, Jason lingers before murdering them, watching them suffer. He's moved way beyond yer basic revenge killing, into serial killer territory. It's weird.

Jason got melted and drowned in toxic waste at the end of this one, because apparently they flush the NYC sewer systems with toxic waste every night at midnight. Huh. I didn't know that when I lived there. I'm interested to see how he comes back in Part IX, up next. Finally, one of these I've never seen before.

This movie is worth watching ONLY for the 10 seconds in which Jason punches someone's head clean off. I'm just tired and giddy enough that I laughed and laughed and laughed. Also making a return appearance is the Crazy Doomsayer, whom the series has been missing since Part III. Here, it's a dude swabbin' the poopdeck on the ship who tells the kids that the cruise is doomed. Dooooooooooooomed! Oh, and pointless trivia: the guy who plays mean old Uncle Charlie is the same guy who played Blake Carrington's attorney on Dynasty. I loves me some 80's nighttime soaps.

3 more...3 more...3 more....

It's only 1:24am! Yeeeeeeeehaw!!!

2 comments:

Christopher said...

Yes, the head punch-off is the only thing I remember from this film, which I saw in college. ... Maybe it, I dunno, an homage to Dracula/Nosferatu, with the ship bringing death to the New World?

Dead In Hell said...

Yeah, this one was just bad.

Another case of missed opportunity for the series. The director really wanted the focus of the film to be Jason in the city, but that bit kept getting cut back more and more, apparently due to budget constraints and executive meddling. So instead we get Jason on a boat, with like 12 minutes of him in the city. And even then, it fails to live up to expectations. The least they could have done was pack a bunch of mayhem into the finale.