FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 15, 2005

Part VII: The New Blood, blood.
Whazza? Whazza? What-oh yeah. Just finished Jason vs Carrie. Actually, while that does kinda describe this entry, this is definitely the most watchable movie since Part IV.

I think my brain is getting soft.

Lar Park Lincoln stars as Tina, a girl with psychokinetic abilities; and who may be the long lost Olsen triplet. Back when she was a child, Tina and family were vacationing at Crystal Lake. Daddy got drunk and abusive...Tina's powers manifested themselves...and daddy ended up at the bottom of the lake. Now, Tina, her mom, and her shrink have come back to Crystal Lake to confront demons in a therapeutic fashion. Yeah, it's a thin plot. Anyway, Tina's powers end up resurrecting Jason, who's still chained at the bottom of the lake from Part VI. Enter teens, Jason kills teens, Jason vs Tina, Tina's dad comes up from the water and drags Jason back under the lake...wait, what?! Yeah, I told ya, it's a thin plot. And it seems that the F13 movies all end about the same way- someone gets pulled under the water, and the last person standing gets wheeled away on a gurney.

I do like this installment, though. It's not as jokey as the last few have been, Lar Park Lincoln is likable, and we have the debut of Kane Hodder as Jason. At this point, Jason is super ultra corpse-y looking. He's rotting and dripping and he's got bones showing. I bet you can smell him a mile away. See, the thing is, he CAN be killed- it's just that somehow people keep bringing him BACK. Let the dude stay dead and he'll stay dead! Ya idjits.

The body count, I believe, is 16, although I may have spaced out and forgotten to mark one down. For the first time in a long time I felt bad when someone fell victim to Jason: when Tina's mom got the big...knifey thing to the chest, I actually felt a little badly about it. First of all, she's a mom, second of all, the slimeball shrink used her as a human shield. That sucks. Then again, I may just be really, really, tired.

One more in my DVD box set...then 3 after that. Oh.

3 comments:

waxartist72 said...

No, don't do it! It's not worth it to go on, it's just not...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Wow, this is like a test of human endurance!

Good luck!

Dead In Hell said...

I really love this one. Mostly for the reasons stated. The telekinetic protagonist was exactly the right response to zombie Jason.

And the ending, with her dad jumping out of the lake to take down Jason, while fairly "What." was also kind of awesome? A heroic inversion of the lake zombie ending grab. I don't care if it was just a dream in parts 1 and 3, it's still great.