FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 15, 2005

OK, this is my last post for the Friday the 13th Marathon. If by some chance you're just starting to read, you might want to scroll all the way down to the bottom of the post and start at the beginning.

Freddy vs Jason vs Stacie's Fragile State
If this movie didn't exist, I could've ended this hours ago! I get the feeling that this movie was written by two dudes in their early 20s who thought it would be so cool to see Freddy and Jason fight onscreen. Awesome! Yeah! The idea has never appealed to me personally, but then I don't think I was exactly the target audience for this effort. It's a nasty piece of work- all the women are "bitches", Freddy's a "faggot" this what passes for horror now? Watching camp counsellors simply get slaughtered is somehow less offensive to me than this movie.

Boy, I tell ya- the things they can do with computers nowadays...back in my day, dagummit, if you wanted a head cut off, you called a fella named Tom Savini and he'd make it happen for ya. Now, click the mouse, press a key, and by gar it's all done! "By gar"? Don't ask. Well, I'm not going to bother to go on and on about this silly movie and why I didn't like it, or why CGI gore usually lacks impact, or go on my usual tirades about the current state of the horror movie industry, blah blah blah. The important thing here is that I did it! I'm done. Wow.

What a strange, silly endeavor, watching all 11 of these movies for no higher purpose than simply to do it. It's all for the good of Final Girl, I guess. Or just to test my endurance. Frankly, I feel a little numb right now.

At least I can say that my love of Parts I & II has been re-affirmed. Wayyyy back when I watched many hours ago...I realized that whatever the series became and whatever other terrible slasher movies they helped spawn, they're 2 classics of the genre. What other highlights were there for me? Hmm. The exploding logos, for sure. They stopped at- what, Part VI? The head getting punched clean off. The eyeball flying at the camera in 3D style. Ah, good times, good times.

My god, I lost an entire day of my life to the Friday the 13th movies.

It's 7:23am...almost time for breakfast goulash!


Des said...

clap clap clap...well done and enjoy the goulash for the second time in one day.

You may need some mental help if you begin to hear: ch ch aw aw...

Anonymous said...

Stacie Ponder, I salute you for sitting through all 11 of these. I quite enjoyed the flaming-Jason-in-a-cornfield sequence of F vs J, but I really hope that Freddie vs Jason vs Ash is just a silly rumour. Mainly because Ash could obviously batter both of them without having to put his pint down...

David Lee Ingersoll said...

You have my admiration. Not only do you make it through 11 encounters with Jason, you follow it up the next day by hanging with Samara. You're tougher than I am.

Stacie Ponder said...

Thanks, guys- this day shall forever be remembered in my "pointless things I did" annals. :D

Actually, it was alot of fun, even if I didn't eat as many snacks as I thought I would.

Anonymous said...

I still envy you.