"Nature's Candy" aka FRUIT
What am I, Kojak? So gross, and then I have to deal with the stick when I'm done. I don't need my candy to be a hundred-step process, just let me cram it in my mouth and be done with it. (Yes, that is what she said.) The root beer ones are the only ones that are passable, and they will be the last thing left at the bottom of the plastic pumpkin. So you reach in, thinking YES I have some candy left, and you pull out a fucking Dum-Dum. The disappointment is crushing–it proves Halloween is well and truly over and you have, like, a bunch of days to wait for the next one.
What in the depression era shoe leather-looking HELL are these things? These are some Dust Bowl treats for sure, and...wait, these are actually kind of good.
TIE: WHOPPERS AND REESES PIECES
Now we're talking. Thank you for giving me these instead of wasting my time!
Besides the corns, this is the only candy that is needed. It has been scientifically proven! I can't find the link right now, but you should trust me, I read it.