FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jul 16, 2007


So I got "tagged" with another "meme" by two "bastards", Dr Criddle and Squish, wherein:

1. First, those tagged must explain the rules, as I am currently doing.
2. Secondly, share no more or less than eight facts about yourself.
3. Thirdedly, tag eight of your unsuspecting blogger friends, who are thereby contractually bound by law to do the same. If you do not comply, you will be fed to the crocodiles.

Normally I avoid these meme things as if they're walking Ebola pies- not to mention that I keep Final Girl pretty personal-life free, but today I'm feeling a curious combination of laziness and magnanimity, so why the eff not? Besides, it's nice that people want to know eight things about me (thanks, ya bastards). Let's see if I'll have any readers left after revealing these Fantastamazing Eight Facts.

1. One of my rock star dreams (don't we all have at least one?) is to be the woman who sings back up on Black Oak Arkansas's's's's "Jim Dandy". I have no idea what she looks like for real, but in my dreams she's a total skank who does nothing but chain smoke, chug Wild Turkey, and sing "Jim Dandy" in cut off jean-shorts and some tassled t-shirt.

UPDATE: Oh. My. GAWD. Awesome reader pal Theron tracked down a picture of this woman and...well, see for yourself how close I was in my assessment. Call me Nostramuthafuckingdamus! Ladies and gentlemen...Ruby Starr!

2. When I was in 1st grade, my class took a field trip to the beach. I was collecting rocks and shells and stuff, and I found this one amazingly cool-looking rock that I was sure was a moon rock or a miniature meteorite or something- I couldn't wait to show my parents! When I got home and pulled the moon rock out of the bag, my mom said "That's an old peach pit! It's garbage! Throw it away!" Thankfully my child-like innocence recovered quickly.

3. I have this weird phobia thing about wet, loose hair- and I had it even before J-Horror hit it big. It's just gross, especially if it's not mine. Let's put it this way: should I ever be summoned to Room 101 of the Ministry of Love, there'll be some sort of device awaiting me that holds the contents of Kenny G's shower drain.

4. I don't know why, but when I get really happy/excited about something, I tend to cry...not like wailing and pulling my hair, know. I shed a tear or two. Still, it can be embarrassing, like the time I cried when I went to the circus.

When I was 30.

5. When I worked at Large Chain Bookstore in NYC, I was bookseller to the stahs, dahling! I sold fondue cookbooks to Heather Locklear, VC Andrews books to Sarah McLachlan, and I helped Sigourney Weaver pick out some fiction for a friend. The only person I actually said "Hey, I like your work" to, however, was Amanda Plummer. Oh, and this one time, I answered the phone and the person said "Hi, who's this?" and I replied "This is Large Chain Bookstore."...she said "I know, I mean, who's speaking?". I totally hated giving my name out to customers, and so for some reason I blurted out "This is Juice".

6. Someone should nominate me for What Not to Wear because my wardrobe is in a sad, sad state at the moment- when I moved recently, I only took enough clothes to fill a single large suitcase. It was an amazing show of control and prowess at the time, but now I have no clothes and I'm too poor to buy nice new things. And I don't know how to dress myself. I mean, I understand the concept of dressing myself, like, I'm not walking around with pants on my head wondering why everyone is looking at me all funny. I mean, I'm not sure exactly what I want to wear. Another reason to nominate me is that I think Stacy London is the shit.

Not that I watch TV.

7. Despite (or because of, maybe) my life-long penchant for watching horror movies, I have led quite a nightmare-free life. I remember, when I was maybe 2 or 3, walking past a movie theatre advertising It's Alive. The image on the poster scared me so badly that I could hardly sleep that night and when I did drift off, I had bad dreams. And once when I was in college, I dreamed that a homicidal midget dressed up like Where's Waldo? was chasing me around campus with murderous intent. But those are the only nightmares I remember at all.

8. I can juggle, 3 items max. I'm self-taught! It's not as handy a skill as you might think, however.

Whew. I'm glad that's over with. I know I'm supposed to "tag" some more people, but...crocodiles be damned, this meme- much like the cheese- dies alone.

Wait, the cheese only stood alone. Meh, whatevs.

Don't you feel so much closer to me now?


M said...

That poster is outrageous! :D Made me laugh.

Adam Ross said...

What are the odds -- both of us referenced Black Oak Arkansas for item No. 1 ... weirrrrd.

If I was in your shoes at Large Chain Bookstore I would have hovered around Sigourney until she was propositioned by an autograph hound, then shouted: "Get away from her you BITCH!!" Even if it meant getting fired, it would have been worth it (I think).

Anonymous said...

Oh, the many facets of the soul that is La Ponder are now so limpid that the blinding light of anima StaciƦ is lethally beautiful to gaze upon.

Er, hey, cool stuff!

Hey, did you grab Sarah McLachlan and say, "Dammit, girl, don't say you wrote 'Take Your Breath Away' about obsessive fandom. You wrote the perfect succubus song! That's what it is! So change your story—now!"

Because I woulda.

Stacie Ponder said...

Mariana, I think you must mean that you laughed with HORROR, right?

Whoa, Adam...clearly this is a sign of bigger things to come. Maybe BOA is reuniting? Maybe I'll be transporting back to '76 and my rock star dreams will come true?

You know, I was so overwhelmed by the presence of Sigourney Weaver that I HAD to play it "cool", lest I turn into a complete blob of fannishness. She was soooo super nice and about 7 feet taller than me.

Bill...wait, are you calling me a crystal ball or something?


Anonymous said...

Son of a--!
Okay, so my wife tagged me with this damn 8 things meme, like 2 months or something ago, and I started mine, but I was so long-winded, I did only posted a "Part 1, items 1-3," because item 3 was like several thousand words long...
and I've been meaning to finish it (post part 2) and then tag MY 8 bloggers, and you were actually going to be one of them, but now... well, suck!
Although, wait, now you DID do the meme, but I didn't squander, er, use one of my "tags" on you, so I can browbeat somebody ELSE to do it.


I win!

I mean, a cool and fascinating glimpse into your private self!

spazmo said...

Change your blogging policy ASAP!
This personal stuff is awesome.

Squish said...

my favorite personal-stuff is the crap infused in a review that makes you see the darkness in Stacie's soul... more than that peach pit.

As for #7 - Don't Look Now much

Erich Kuersten said...

speaking of scaring the bejezus out of someone, thanks for the great review of LETS SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH which I finally got around to seeing. I realized I'd been avoiding it because a) I'd seen flashes of it on old TV, faded and cropped and too adult for me as a child, b) I got it confused with THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE, and c) I assumed-based on the title-it was some sort of GASLIGHT-redux via 1970s made for TV dullness.


I enjoyed your 8 things, I've been similarly tagged but didn't get very far...

your story about ITS ALIVE reminds me of when I was 6 or 7 and was temporarily in the house alone and watching TV and a commercial for SILENT NIGHT / EVIL NIGHT (1974, aka Black Christmas) came on... it seemed to come on right as a huge storm hit the house and the doors slammed shut from the wind... though that could be kiddie hallucinations. Anyway, I thought my worst nightmares were literally taking over the TV set and reaching out to get me. AWESOME! I was sooo scared I sat there on the couch afraid to even change the channel.

Anonymous said...

No, I have no idea what that metaphor was about, but I'm pretty sure balls don't have facets. (Insert joke here.)


Stacie Ponder said...

Erich, I'm so glad you dug Jessica. The title totally makes you think it's going to be one of those grab-the-inheritance-scheme flicks, and it's anything but. I love that movie. And what a great story about the Black Christmas commercial! Yeesh.

Man, I thought of like 20 more "interesting" facts about myself I could have included, but we'll all have to wait years and years before another one of these memes comes around. Nyah!

Bill, I'll give you a 'ba-dum-tish' and then I'm stepping quietly away. :D

M said...

So it's true -- you can tell what each and every one of your readers is wearing!

Stacie Ponder said...

Absolutely, Mariana. And when I mention something about "I'm not wild about what you're wearing" in a post, it always comes from a place of love.

And mild disgust.


Anonymous said...

I could never recommend anyone to be on What Not To Wear. A friend of mine got on the show and got the full make-over. She was kinda thrilled with it all...until she had the "coming out" moment in front of her friends. I bet she looked great to fetch some Wall St. type, but to her friends she didn't look herself. I won't deny she didn't dress the best before the show, but I can't exactly say the show moved her in her style direction.

Even my friend had that "oh, what have I done to become the one I mock at shows?" But when you're surrounded by a gaggle of guys who are experts at this, you kinda go along with their ideas. It's not like their out to make you look hideous...intentionally.

I guess it just shows that clothes don't necessarily make the person, and that (cue piano solo) you just need to be the person that is inside you...looking bad or bad looking and all.

(cue commercial)

Michael Liam Murphy said...

Bit of sad news, Stacie. Cross-referenced Ruby Starr's name and came across this article:

Ruby Starr, 44, `gutsy, soulful' rock singer, dies
Milwaukee Sentinel, Jan 17, 1995 by MEG JONES

Ruby Starr, a rock vocalist who packed Milwaukee clubs with her own brand of gutsy, soulful singing, was remembered by friends Monday as one of the first prominent female rock singers in Milwaukee.

Starr died of brain and lung cancer Saturday in her hometown of Toledo, Ohio. The former leader of the Ruby Starr Band was 44.

Born Constance H. Mierzwiak, Starr was a fixture in Milwaukee music clubs in the 1970s and early 1980s.

Starr was "one of the first (female rock singers) to really make a mark. That, I remember, and I've been in this town forever," said Mark Krueger, an account executive at WQFM-FM (93.3) who met Starr in the 1970s.

"Every place they played around here it was always a great crowd, even going back to the days of the old Electric Ballroom and the Palms," Krueger said.

A singer with a Toledo-based band in the early 1970s, Starr also was associated with the band Black Oak Arkansas and received a gold record for her work on the song "Jim Dandy (to the Rescue)." She later toured with the Gray Ghost Band and the band Blackfoot.

Starr was known for her "gutsy, bluesy, soulful vocals," said Krueger, who last saw Starr in October when she visited friends in Milwaukee. "She poured her heart out in every performance.

"She had a following, this little woman with a voice from hell. You wondered how all of that came out of her. She always had a great band behind her. Ruby rocked with all of her soul," Krueger said.