FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Oct 15, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 15


Kolchak (Kolchak: The Night Stalker)


Captain Blake (The Fog)


Sayeth the chooser:

"He's just cool, right? He can swing a mean cutlass; he's got those big bright eyes that seem to bore into your soul (he gets me!); he's not greedy - six were marked, six were taken - he wasn't all 'Say, the night's still young and we've got all this extra fog floating around...let's keep a-killin'!'ALSO there were NO STUPID SEQUELS to water down (heh) his enigmatic aura."

Oct 14, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 14


Michael Myers (Halloween 1-michaelmyers.com)

this may or may not be the Michael Myers from the movies

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (Scrooge, 1970)

Oct 13, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 13


Final girls represent! Put on a stinky sweater and dream us all into a beautiful dream!

Oct 12, 2011

Oct 11, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 11


The Stuff (The Stuff)



I love that someone's favorite character is a jar of...well, stuff. Horror movies rule!

Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th parts 1-1246895)


This guy must be pretty obscure or something because I've no idea who he is.

Oct 10, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 10


Lefty Enright (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)


Sayeth the chooser:

"Dennis Hopper effortlessly walks the line between tongue in cheek and genuinely badass in away I don't think anyone else has quiet managed. Watch!!! Him freak out then delight a Hardware Store Attendant. Marvel!!! As he kicks in a mural of Daniel Boone and releases a torrent of intensities!!! Clap With Glee!!! As he makes a room full of serial killers shit their pants with a rendition of the old hymn "Bringing In The Sheeves".

How much do I like Lefty Enright? I have unironically used his phrase "Lord, show me what I fear so I don't fear it no more." IN ACTUAL PRAYER. So there you go, from Dennis Hopper's lips to God's Ears, my choice for best Horror character."

Carrie White (Carrie)

There's never a time that Carrie White doesn't break my heart into a zillion pieces. And though things didn't quite work out for Carrie and Tommy at the prom (umm, understatement), at least they're together again in our SHOCKtober festivities!

Oct 9, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 9


The Things (The Thing)


You guys, I saw a trailer for the remake of Carpenter's film. I...will...not get angry about remakes anymore! I will watch the original (err, the original remake, technically speaking, I guess) and that's that.

Ray Cameron (Night of the Creeps)

Umm. Yes.

Sayeth the chooser:

- reluctant hero
- great dialogue, including best movie tagline ever
- sympathetic backstory
- gets to do a scene with the legendary Dick Miller and ask him for a flamethrower
- oh yeah, and HE IS PLAYED BY TOM ATKINS!

Oct 8, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 8



Bruno (Spider Baby)

Sayeth the chooser:

"My favorite horror movie character is Bruno, the loveable chauffeur from "Spider Baby." I love that he keeps a foot in the outside world but totally commits himself to the Merrye "children" and their insane worldview - he's careful to talk to the girls in a way that makes sense to them, and even when he's disciplining them he does it in terms they understand. But he never just gives up and caves to the insanity: he keeps order within the demented boundaries of the household (cannibals stay in the basement), and does his best to protect the outside world from the Merryes as much as he's protecting the Merryes. When he realizes it's time for drastic steps to be taken, he's willing to go down with the ship. ("It's gonna make a big flash and go bang!" "Oh boy!") And he does it with love. His tearful farewell speech to the girls, when he gathers them to his knee, just gets me every time. He loves his family and he loves his work. He's an example to us all! When I go bonkers, I want Bruno to take care of me. "

He is super huggable.

Herbert West (Re-Animator)

Doing science.

Herbert's appearance reminds me that I REALLY need to revisit all the Stuart Gordon Lovecraft flicks. Really.

Oct 7, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 7



One could write a...a...blog post about how awesome today's favorite characters are!

Mind you, I said "could", not "is going to".

Laurie Strode (Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween H2O, I will not acknowledge Halloween: Resurrection except right there where I said I'm not going to acknowledge it)

"Alberto VO5 Hot Oil Treatment? No, I've never heard of it. Why do you ask?"

She's the Final Girl, isn't she? I mean, really.

Minnie Castevet (Rosemary's Baby)

I know it's a classic and all, but I was never into Rosemary's Baby like, at all (I KNOW) until a random viewing of it a summer or two ago. I get it now. I do. I get it.

Also, I don't know why I feel like telling you this, but when you enter "Minnie Cast" into Google image search, the predictive results are "Minnie Castevet" and "Minnie Cast Iron Multifuel Wood Log Burning Stove 6.5kw". So there you go.
`

Oct 6, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 6



Chucky (Child's Play)

This is kind of my new favorite picture ever. Oh Chucky, you rascal!

Chris Higgins (Friday the 13th Part 3)

"But what's happening behind me doesn't even make any sennnnnsssssssse!"

Chris doesn't get nearly enough love when the topic of Final Girls comes up. Why do we always forget about this axe-wielder who wielded an axe into Jason's friggin' head? Give the girl some respect, all of us besides the person who chose Chris as a favorite! Really, she's the last decent Final Girl the Friday films had. *tear*

Oct 5, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 5


Grandpa (The Lost Boys)

Gramps is the only Lost Boys character to get a vote. That's so rad! In your face, Coreys and Kiefer! And you too, Jami Gertz!

Tommy Ross (Carrie)

I want to lie in a bed of his pillowy hair. Oh, and here's why the chooser chose this...choice.

Oct 4, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 4


These two favorite characters couldn't be more different...or maybe I mean ALIKE.

(I mean different)

Pinhead (Hellraiser, Hellraiser in Space, Hellraiser in the Computer, Hellraiser in the Old Days, That Hellraiser with Kari Wuhrer, Some Other Hellraisers Probably)

Sayeth the chooser of Pinhead: "Pinhead. Specifically, Doug Bradley as Pinhead, because fuck that new guy. I don't even know his name, but seriously, fuck that guy. Also, if I can be even more specific, Doug Bradley as Pinhead in the original Hellraiser. The sequels are mostly awful."

Scotty Parker (Silent Scream)

If anybody every asks why someone would choose Scotty Parker, I would just silently point to this picture. SILENTLY and SCREAMINGLY, I mean.

Oct 3, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 3


Oh man, some choices here. Some real fuckery that gets in your head!

Zelda (Pet Sematary)

Did you know that it's a dude playing Zelda? It is. I always thought it was Amanda Plummer.

The Dwarf (Don't Look Now)

I love this movie. I love this OUT OF NOWHERE DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN WHAT IS THAT ending. I love Donald Sutherland's fro and stache. It's all so good.

Oct 2, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 2


Today, we've got some decidedly non-human favorite characters. That's okay. We here at Final Girl do not discriminate.

Except against Paul Reiser, of course.

Xenomorphs (all those Alien films)

The Xenomorph is on the right and looks rather friendly, I think.

Gizmo (Gremlins)

"I coulda been a contendah."

Oct 1, 2011

SHOCKtober Day 1


The votes are in! Your favorite characters have been named! Here's how it's gonna work, y'all. Hold on to your pants and brains, because it's pretty complicated: I'm going to...drum roll...publish a couple of characters each day! Nearly everyone got but one vote, so they're not in any ranked order. They just...are. Isn't that freeing?

This was a super tough assignment, I know. In fact, I still haven't chosen my favorite. But you have! So let's get this started with...





Honestly, I can't believe that Heidi didn't get all the votes, but whatever, you guys.

Sep 7, 2011

Can't stop the SHOCK (tober)

So, I'm doing a SHOCKtober celebration over at Jill Sandwich as well. It's the same idea as FG's 2010 listmania, but...you know. Horror video games. Head on over and check it out, then send me your list! I love lists. Everyone loves lists. Hooray!

Sep 2, 2011

It's coming! SHOCKtober is coming!

Attention good people of The Internet! The time is here! That's right- it's time to begin preparations for next month, which is October, which around these parts is known as SHOCKtober, which is the best month of them all.

I realize I have been terribly remiss in my Final Girl duties. This summer has been...mmm, I don't know. Strange? Awful? Sort of both. But summer is drawing to a close, so I say: fuck summer. It's time for the shelves of my grocery store to be stocked with Candles of Doom and plastic skulls! It's time for horror movies to be everywhere! This ain't no place for summer. So git, summer! Git on now!

I've been mulling over SHOCKtober possibilities for a while now- what to do during this most excellent time? Stately Final Girl Manor is changing location yet AGAIN at the end of this month, and it's going to put me out of some commission for a while. I enjoyed the interactivity of last year's festivities, for sure. Given these factors, again I say- what to do?

Well, my pal Brent Schoonover is smart and he came up with a great idea right away: favorite horror characters. YOUR favorite horror characters- who are they? Let's figure it out!

Now, before you go shouting everything all willy-nilly and chaotic-like, I need to establish some rules to the process, to listen up, maggots!

First, as a thanks to Brent for this stellar interactive idea, go visit his website and look at all of his dazzling art. Seriously, it dazzles. If you really like it, and you really like me, you should get a copy of Mr. Murder is Dead! That's right, I'm straight-up pimpin' it. But dudes, for real, we worked really hard on it- and it's cheap and it's good. So check it out!

Second, the rules of this game: send me an email with the name of your ONE favorite FICTIONAL character in all of horrordom. You don't need to tell me WHY you like this character, unless you want to. Just one! Fictional!

how could you not vote for vampire puppy?

If it's a character without a proper name, that's fine. So, say, "the bear from Grizzly" works. If it's a group of samey-sames, that's fine too- such as, "the troglodytes in the pit in The Pit" is keen. If you want to get specific for characters that have been portrayed by more than one actor, go for it. For example, I'm sure that Frank Langella is everyone's favorite Dracula, but maybe you like Christopher Lee for some reason. Stick to movies, although characters who were born elsewhere and migrated to movies (like Swamp Thing, say) are obviously a-okay.

No character is too big or too small! Do you like a heavy hitter such as Freddy Krueger best? Or are you more of an Annie Brackett type (you probably should be)? The choice is yours! Let me know and, depending on how many results I get, I'll...figure out something to do with all this info. Last year it was crazy, and this will likely be the same.

I don't envy you this task, friendos. I have no idea who my choice will be. Oh, if only Briefcase Woman had been in a horror movie!

Send your email with THE WORD CHARACTER in the subject line and YOUR CHOICE in the EMAIL BODY to stacieponder AT gmail DOT com by SUNDAY SEPT 19. Let's do this!

Aug 5, 2011

when there's no more room at the library...


Zombies, am I right? It's kind of amazing to me how resilient the subgenre has proven in recent years, considering its heyday, if you ask me, was in the late 1970s/early 80s...but then, I suppose, fads are supposed to be cyclical. At least, I hope they are; at long last, I've mastered the Macarena and I'm dying to bust it out somewhere.

But really, did any horror fan expect zombies to make such a hardy comeback? I didn't. Sure, they never went away completely, but for a while they were quiet, shuffling around in the background while other monsters had their moments. You know, monsters like Freddy, Michael, and Jason, who starred in some of the worst sequels in the history of...sequels. Or those monsters from TV shows on the WB, whose faces filled the dull posters for tepid slasher-style flicks and remakes. George Romero was making movies without a zombie in sight, while a DVD rerelease of his seminal film Dawn of the Dead was something to celebrate.

Oh, my friends, how the times have changed. Was it 28 Days Later that ushered in the new zombie era? Perhaps. Whether the opening of the floodgates can be traced back to one particular movie or book is irrelevant; the fact is, zombies have infiltrated film, videogames, literature, television, and even everyday life ("zombie walks", anyone?) like no one could have anticipated. Nothing else in horror (or fantasy, or...you know, genre-stuff) comes close- not vampires, despite the popularity of Twilight. Not witchcraft and wizardry. Nothing! Zombies are everywhere, and it seems they're not going ANYWHERE.

In Zombies! An Illustrated History of the Undead, writer/film director Jovanka Vuckovic explores...well, the book's title says it all, doesn't it? From the origins of the zombie in Haitian history to the current craze for the genre, this slim volume provides a broad look at the walking dead in all forms of pop culture.

For me, the book's earliest chapters are the most informative, as I am but a humble ignoramus regarding Haitian voodoo rituals and religious rites. Vuckovic spends some time doling out the history before segueing into the earliest days of the zombie genre in film and literature. I'm not terribly well-versed in 1930s and 40s horror, say, so I found myself LEARNING. This is good. I like learning.

In later chapters, such as "Back from the Dead: Zombies in the New Millenium", the book becomes a bit more "Vuckovic on Zombies" than "History" as the author provides her opinion on films and other media. There's no denying that she's an authority on horror, and her opinion is certainly an educated one- her tenure at Rue Morgue Magazine is proof of that- but I found myself getting all defensive about a few topics at hand. She calls Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead an "unnecessary remake", which...I don't know, maybe it is. But I can't help but think it's got merits of its own, completely independent from what George Romero did in the original 30 years prior. Vuckovic rips much more harshly into Paul WS Anderson's Resident Evil, and again, I found myself, you know, defending my own opinions to a book. Resident Evil is probably crap- in fact, you can probably take away the "probably"- but sometimes crap is fun. Sometimes crap is good! Obviously Vuckovic is entitled to her own opinions and NO book is completely objective, but there were times throughout that I simply wanted more "facts" and not to be made to feel like a brainless, drooling dolt because I like a certain movie or two. I may be a brainless, drooling dolt, sure, but a history book shouldn't necessarily remind me of it.

Or maybe I'm just too much of an opinionated horror fan myself. After all, I do have a blog.

"Booooook...wait, I mean braaaaiiins...."

Zombies! works best, perhaps, as a resource. With sizable lists of films and books featuring the undead- not to mention all of the titles Vuckovic discusses in the chapters proper- there is plenty of gut-munching media out there for readers to check out. Throw in the hundreds of photos and illustrations, and the book becomes all but indispensable for zombie fanatics everywhere. Romero fans in particular will be pleased; the genre's most famous figure provides a foreword and, not surprisingly, is featured heavily throughout the book. I was happy to see two of my loves- comics and videogames- get plenty of attention.

I have a few nerdy gripes (beyond my already established, whiny "But I LIKE Resident Evil!" complaint)- where's the bibliography? Zombies Ate My Neighbors is not a first-person shooter! and so on- but overall, Zombies! is a terrific addition to any genre lover's bookshelf. It's brought ample movies and books to my attention, likely giving me undead fodder for years to come (The Chilling? What's that? I have no idea, but I'm gonna check it out)...proving yet again that zombies will never die.

Unless you shoot 'em in the head, I guess.