Hello friends, it's sure been a while since a Friday 'round these parts has been an awesome movie poster one, hasn't it? Well, pull up your pants and hold on to your hats because that's gonna change right now. And so begins...
Pro Tip: Use more image search terms than "elderly corn" if you don't want to end up seeing a lot of elderly feet
"What is The Corn-ening, " you ask, "and is it delicious?"
"Yes and yes!" I reply.
"That doesn't make sense," you say.
"Oh, my apologies. Allow me to clarify."
Beginning around 7am this Monday (July 15), I will be watching all of the Children of the Corn movies in order. In one marathon session. Like my Halloween and Friday the 13th viewing marathons, I will take a bit of time in between films to write up a l'il something something on whatever I just watched. Like my Halloween and Friday the 13th viewing marathons, by the time it is all over, I will likely hate myself and enter a shame spiral that causes me to question every single life choice I've ever made. But it must be done...for science.
Anyway, what better way to get wicked pumped up for this Major Event than by putting peepers to some Children of the Corn posters? None. Stop trying to think of better ways, because there aren't any.
Some thoughts! You know, it's kind of interesting that the evolution of the CotC posters is a microcosm of the evolution of horror movie posters in general. Check it:
The first film (1984): mysterious! a bit arty! intriguing!
The fifth film (1998): the heads of good-looking people, all lined up! WB horror! what Scream hath wrought!
The eighth film (2011): a nondescript stock photo Photoshop snoozefest!
I'm a fan of "Horror Kid", but Ghana wins the day, as you'd expect.