I spent about 77 minutes of my life watching the lesbian-ish vampires-in-a-brothel flick A Feast of Flesh and I really feel like...that's enough. That's all I have to give to it. I don't even want to spend 77 seconds reviewing it, so I have chosen two screencaps which I feel will sum up my miserable experience whilst saving me precious moments that would be better spent doing something else entirely, like perhaps punching myself in the face repeatedly.
1) The distributor's disclaimer. For fuck's sake, the least you can do is use spellcheck.
2) The lady victim here is supposed to be a) dead and b) tied to the bed. The filmmakers have avoided the question "How do you tie someone to the headboard, exactly?" by not tying her wrist at all.
There. I just saved you 77 painful minutes. The things I do for you kids, I swear!