FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Sep 5, 2008

awesome movie poster friday- the VHS BOX ART edition!

From the "Cheap VHS knockoff? How dare you, madame! I Yeah, you got me" department:

How many halves does this thing in the pit have, exactly?

From the Holy Fucking Shit, I Need To See This Movie RIGHT NOW Department:

Eh. You oughta see what's living inside my George Foreman Grill! *ba-dum-tish*

"Take that, pool of blood-shaped woman!"

Please tell me I'm not the only one who can see them- the visible invisible dead.

With that tagline, this movie could also be about farts. I am just saying.

The most frightening cover art ever? Is he a giant, or is she smurf-size?

This almost looks more irritating than anything else: "Quit fondling my face, bloody ape!"

Is this a now-live dead person having fun at a party, or is it a formerly-live person who died whilst having fun?

This cover for Body Shop is one of the greatest examples of the lurid nature of VHS box art. It goes without saying that the movies are rarely as hardcore as the box leads you to believe they are. Browsing the horror section in the video store back in the day was a head trip- everything was so seedy! It all felt forbidden and naughty, and if you dared to rent one of these puppies, surely you'd go mad with terror or your head would explode after witnessing all the depravity!

Umm, if this isn't the perfect companion piece to Killer Workout, I don't know what is. Does anyone own a drive-in?

What the hell is going on here, Endplay? "Gripping until the bizarre end- then it all falls apart and you'll be death!"


Anonymous said...

Great to see you return to making comments on the posters! One of the best things about the site.

Christian A. Dumais said...

The Video Dead is one of my favorites. I'd love to get my hands on a copy of it sometime.

Anonymous said...

Video Dead is a cool flick, I've always had a fondness for the zombie with the electric iron sticking out of his head.

John Barleycorn said...

I hate you, Netflix, for not having these films.

Anonymous said...

Those clown-rockers made me laugh somethin' fierce. No-one rocks like a clown! Until... {stinger}

Anonymous said...

funny how you mention a double feature of killer workout/death spa!

a few weeks ago down here in miami,the only drive in we got played a "sweat until you die" double feature of killer workout and then death spa! em and my girlfriend had a great old time sittin in the car smokin a blunt and watching the movies..cheesy fun all the way!

Anonymous said...

This post took a somewhat annoying workday and made it AWESOME.

Theron said...

Whoa, nice work, SP. It's like you're the Henny Youngman of horror.

"Manipulator? I didn't even know her!" Ho HO!

Fox said...

"Take that, pool of blood-shaped woman!"

Ahhh Stacie! Hilarious. Great Poster Friday. I've been missing these and you rewarded us with an all-time.

OMG, I would pay so much money for a poster of the Mickey Rooney movie. I'm making that cover my laptop wallpaper ASAP!

Zombie Cupcake said...

I am weeping with the realisation there are so many films like this to see, and surely not nearly enough of my life left to see them!

Anonymous said...

Here's the synopsis for "Terror on Tour"-

A rock band called "The Clowns" comes under suspicion of murder when several prostitutes are killed by individuals made up like members of the band.

Why am I thinking of Dr. Rockso from "Metalocalypse" all of a sudden?

Chadzilla said...

Oh, Christ...I just relived the 1980s in my head. I'm just a little shaken up now; have to go put my head between my knees and take deep, even breaths for a few minutes. Just give me a moment. Maybe I'll watch something from the Cannon Group or Vestron Pictures or Empire and then I'll be okay. Maybe.

My God, times have certainly changed....

jaguar_ride said...

M. Rooney is SO off the chain in "The Manipulator". But be warned, the movie is bad-tripsville all the way.

Anonymous said...

The ever-elusive Terror on tour, eh? Great box art ... aaand that's about it really. Bad audio, bad video, crap actors. Great remedy against insomnia. But all the more reason why you jusy HAVE to HAVE it, right?

Anonymous said...

Awesome capper to VHS week.
The Pit artwork reminds me of (other than the Evil Dead artwork) the MANBEARPIG episode of South Park, "He's half man, half bear, & half pig and he wants to kill you."

The Endplay artwork, what in the hell is this picture trying to tell us? This hot, topless chick was wheeling along in this wheelchair with her favorite bow & arrow, when suddenly she was launched yards away and stabbed by someone with one foot?

Reel Whore said...

The cover art for "Bloody New Year" sent my mind spinning back to the old mall video store of my high school years! I bet I saw that cover dozens of times.

Love the tageline to Body Shop; "A Meating Place for Dismembers Only!"


Jay Clarke said...

Video Dead!! One of my absolute, absolute faves!!!

Unknown said...

Just looking at the art's a real trip. Thanks!