FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jan 21, 2008

it's the end of the something and i something something

Wow, MySpace really is good for something besides glitter graphics and horny sluts! Neil Marshall has posted some beee-yoo-tiful behind-the-scenes stills from Doomsday, his upcoming armageddonflick, in his MySpace blog. When I say "beee-yoo-tiful", I mean "Gawsh, they shore are purdy".

You may remember me talking about Doomsday way back during that magical month called "July". Well, the film is finally almost here: it's due to be released on March 14. The trailer was recently released online, so now you can see what I was so excited about at Nerd Prom:

If I were a geek or, like, obsessed with The Descent or something, I might point out that yes, that's a brief glimpse of MyAnna Buring (one of the faboo Van Ney sisters) you may have caught. know, I don't even care about The Descent so why would I bother to bring it up? It's not like I'm this guy or something.

Anyway. Doomsday. Can't wait.


Anonymous said...

Stupid March. Get here sooner!

Unknown said...

I can't wait.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid this will get pushed back like Trick 'R Treat.

It just doesn't seem like a 'March' movie, more like an early August release.

Snarf said...

Speaking of Myspace, you don't accept friendrequests from bands. That might be wise, but I am a band, so how will we ever become "real" friends?

Oh the agony.... may you can be convinced to befriend "me" at ? Otherwise that "friendship" is going nowhere....

On a further unrelated note: I just saw 1408 the directors cut, and I was spooked shitless. Twice. I didn't see that coming but it got me, despite all my "oh it's just another hollywood big-spender crap movie"-prejudices.

Anonymous said...

I don't know you kids with all your MyBookFaceSpace, but I did see 1408 in the theater, and I thought it was pretty clever and effective. I seem to remember there being a couple head-scratchy plot points as I left the theater, but I'll second the Snarf's recommendation.

Stacie Ponder said...

Isn't it weird how certain movie 'styles' or what have you are released during certain times of the year? I understand releasing blockbusters during the summer, but just because it's cold outside doesn't mean I don't want to watch an action movie. Stupid movie industry.

1408 is definitely on my very very long "see this stuff" list.

Snarf, I went you one better- I befriended you AND put one of your songs on my profile. I live to give!

Snarf said...

There is really only one appropriate word: awesome!

(I didn't know I could spell appropriate! Awesome again)

Anonymous said...

On a completely unrelated note, you might enjoy this interpretation of the Halloween theme song:

Unknown said...

I'm all over this movie. Though it reminds me of a 'Phantasm' spec that Roger Avery wrote, cripes, 10 years ago. Regardless, March 14th can't get here soon enough.

Anonymous said...

The movie industry is indeed stupid.

The studios hang on to these antiquated notions that 'x' type of movie must be released in 'y' month. Notice how whenever they change it up, the movie breaks records. "I Am Legend" for example, that screamed Summer blockbuster, but they released it in December, and it broke all the records. "Cloverfield," same thing, released last weekend, made a shit-ton of money.

I'm still burned up over Trick 'R Treat. The trailer I saw looked great, but they didn't want to compete with Rob Zombie's Halloween--bah. So, rather than bump the movie ahead a month or two like normal people, they were stuck in the whole 'It's a Halloween movie so it has to come out on Halloween'.

So, yeah, hopefully Doomsday comes out on schedule; it looks like a delight.

I too saw 1408 in the theater, 45 solid minutes of stuff, then, like most Stephen King stories and movies it fizzles out towards the end.

Joseph Emmerth said...

Did anyone else think that Cloverfield sucked? I was totally disappointed...

Unknown said...

Don't get me started on 'Cloverfield.' Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I loved the hell out of Cloverfield. I've even come to terms with how much the leads sucked* because the sorta-redhead made up for everybody else by how hard she rocked.

Oy. I just know I'm gonna spend the next three months defending this thing. I'm still worn out from the Blair Witch backlash.

*not the actors' fault, I don't think

Anonymous said...

Hey, y'ever belatedly realize that you left a comment you shouldn't've? And this from a guy who pulled a media blackout from Friday until the Sunday matinee so he could go in totally cold.

Sorry about that. I didn't ruin anything, though--it'll be obvious in the first few minutes how annoying they are.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm curious, rd, joseph, what didn't you like about Cloverfield?

I feel that responding to why you didn't like Cloverfield will be easier than me explaining why I did like it, but a brief defense on my part.

It was the perfect event movie. There's no way in hell I could see it again and like it the same amount--Blair Witch. Unlike a fine wine, Cloverfield will not age well. It is, however, like a nice house vinaigrette that comes on your salad at a restaurant you go to on vacation and probably will never go to again.

So, yeah, Cloverfield gets a solid B in my book. B+ if you include the marketing as part of the movie ;).

Arbogast said...

Am I the only one who secretly calls MyAnna Buring "My Anal Burning"?

Joseph Emmerth said...

Here are a few of my beefs with Cloverfield, David:

1. The leads really were annoying. Especially Hud.

2. The thought of someone actually running around that whole time with the camera rolling just got to be waaaay too ludicrous. After the first 50 minutes, I just couldn't suspend my disbelief anymore, even for an obvious plot device.

3. The movie violated both monster rules. First, it didn't wait until the end to reveal the monster, and second, it showed the monster enough during the movie that you knew what it looked like, but then got stingy with showing you the monster. It's either or, c'mon.

4. The "lice" looked exactly like minature versions of the bugs from Starship troopers. Lame...

5. No one runs up that many floors of stairs, even considering adrenaline, and then has enough left to continue on like they did.

6. No way that chopper at the end would have lingered around to look at the monster (and eventually get hit) He would have gotten the hell out of there, not soar to 2000 feet and do some monster-watching.

7. Nobody would have survived that chopper crash, period.

Anyway, those are just a few:)

Anonymous said...

Just want to establish that this is a fun debate, no malice intended :).

Your first point:
I agree with you on Hud, but considering I know people like him—sycophantic best friend types—it’s hard to hold that against the movie. The other characters I thought were fine, they acted like New York yuppie rich kids.

Your second point:
They sort of answer that, there’s a line of dialog where Hud says, “People will want to know what happened.” The camera is like a safety blanket; it’s the thing he does to keep his sanity. The fact that they bothered to give him a reason for doing it was impressive.

Your third point:
I am unaware of these rules, enlighten me—I’m sort of a horror noob. Barring that, this wasn’t a monster movie, this was a character drama set against the background of a monster movie. Like Gone with the Wind, it’s not a war movie, so someone can’t complain that they only showed a few battle scenes. They never showed the Blair Witch and that was a perfectly effective scary movie.

Your fourth point:
That’s more of an aesthetic issue. The Predator looks like a spider pig. The xenomorph from Alien looks like a hydro-cephalic in S&M gear. I thought the ‘lice’ worked, if you didn’t like them, I can totally understand that, but that’s not ‘a flaw’ with the movie.

Your fifth point:
They weren't 'running' up the stairs, they were walking with purpose ;). And, not to toot my own horn, but at the gym, I can go for an hour on the step-mill—it’s like a small piece of down escalator that you walk up—and it keeps track of floors. In one hour, I can walk 150 floors at a steady pace. In Cloverfield, they had to walk up 50 flights of stairs, so, if they went at my pace that would take 20 minutes. It’s really not that hard and I’m not hopped up on adrenaline. Granted, it's not exactly the same as real life stairs, but even at the end of my stepmill workout I still have the energy to go do some situps and arm exercises. I'll bet anyone in average shape could do it.

Your sixth point:
The Helicopter couldn’t attain maxium altitude; it had to stay out of the bombers’ and fighter jets flight path which would require flying just above building level. Remember, when the helicopter was leaving, a bombing run was in progress. Also, that particular type of helicopter, the UH-1N, isn’t all that fast. Maximum speed is 135 mph and it takes time to get to that speed. And it couldn’t achieve maximum speed because of the bombing runs, the fact that it’s forced to fly through a maze of collapsing buildings, etc.

Your seventh point:
That’s not necessarily true. People have survived tons of things that they shouldn’t have. You ever watch Dateline Survivors? I’ve seen two separate videos where skydivers have survived a 5000 ft fall, if that were in a movie it would seem unbelievable, and yet, it’s happened. Also, think about how long ‘the crashing scene’ lasted. They were only a 1000 ft from the ground. The helicopter probably spun in a circle, slowing its fall, thus improving the survival chances of the passengers.

So, there ya go. That was fun. Thank you, Joseph. If you have any other criticisms, lay 'em on me :).

I should mention that I didn't think Cloverfield was "THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!" But I had a good time with it.

I should also mention that I am currently in between jobs and have lots of free time. Have a good one :)

Anonymous said...

I hereby rescind my previous apology, since we're threadjackin' this into our own spoiler-rich FGFC.

Following the template:

1. Joseph's right. Buncha ciphers at best, and that actor played Hud as though he hated people like Hud.

2. Point to David. You gotta just go with a flimsy justification sometimes. It would make more sense if Hud had only recorded things worth recording, but then there goes your linear construction.

3. Not bad for a noob, Dave. I thought they handled the parceling out of monsterdom pretty much flawlessly, and I'm about as hip to the rules of the genre as a guy can get while still knowing how to unhook a bra.* That said, I'm deducting half a point from your score for that "character drama" bit. No. It's a monster movie. The filmmakers may have intended it as you say, but Abrams & Co. are people who think I give a crap about Felicity's love life, so the hell with their intent. The only biped in this flick who got within a mile of being a "character" was got-bit girl.

4. I'm sypathetic to Joe here, especially in the wake of The Mist, but I dunno, bugs look like bugs, whaddaya gonna do. I Gotta punt on this one anyway--I loved the ridiculous brand of death the lice dealt, but I'd like to know what shape the movie would've taken without them. It would've been a different movie, favoring looming dread/awe over visceral intensity, and probably would've appealed to an even nichier audience than it does.

5. Advantage: Dave. The human body is absolutely magnificent in a crisis. Older and fatter people have acheived far more impressive feats under less stress.

6. I didn't get the impression that the 'copter lingered, but I'm giving this one to Joe because I don't know what the hell Dave's saying. I barely understand how my rollerblades work.

7. Yeah, that was pretty bogus, especially since it killed career military people in better seats, but you had to save the lovebirds for the final scene, and the monster had to do someone up close & personal like he did Hud just to follow through on the malevolent intelligence hinted at by the Statue of Liberty deal. But again, so totally bogus. Tie.

Aaaaand David takes it 4&1/2 to 3. Thanks for the practice, guys--I talked my coworkers into seeing it so I'll be rehashing these arguments all week long.


Anonymous said...

Hi Stacie

The Descent is indeed very cool - even if you appear luke warm on it (hehehehe). My friend made a nice little scary short with MyAnna last year (which i camerad or whatever it's called). She's a great, great actress - really cool and a nice person of course and was in the best of the new Doctor Who series over here (a rip off of Quatermas and the Pit set on a planet near a black hole or some such). She said she was in this and more but I won't spoil! It looks like a great homage to Escape from New York as well! Nice one Marshall!!!!

Jonathan said...

I'm really hoping for the best with this film because I became a true Marshall believer after "The Descent." Judging from the preview, this doesn't seem like much of a step up the ladder, however. This would seem to have more in common with "Dog Soldiers," which was extremely entertaining in its own right. I guess I was just hoping he would keep going in the direction he was with "The Descent." But, hell, entertainment is entertainment; I'm definitely looking forward to it.

I really like the site; it gives me a lot of wasted time at work to fill up by reading all of your past blogs. Good stuff.

Joseph Emmerth said...

Curses! I would have won if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

Again, all in good fun:)

On the horrifying news front (at least for me), Cloverfield did so well that now they're talking about maybe doing a sequel. They interviewed the director over at Fearnet and it may get the greenlight.....

David DeMarco said...

Well, don't worry, Joseph, if the Blair Witch is any indication, the sequel will involve a group of slutty goth kids searching for the Cloverfield monster. And I will fall asleep about half way through it, waking up only after my friend elbows me and says, "Wake up, boobs." Not that my name is boobs. He is waking me up because there are boobs on the screen.


P.S. Thanks meddling kids ;)

AE said...

Completely off topic (again)... so, Hal Holbrook gets his first Oscar nomination today and no love from Final Girl?

Arbogast said...

What part of "Stacie doesn't give a drizzling shit about awards" don't you get?!

Joseph Emmerth said...

For someone who mainly does other genres, he's had some interesting roles...

I remember Creepshow and the Fog, what else was he in?

Anonymous said...

Wow, a comment thread where people actually understand the concept of "tongue-in-cheek?" I've been spending too much time on political blogs, I guess--I was half-expecting Joseph to flame my eyebrows off.

Congrats on your win, Boobs. I think it's healthy to keep Blair Witch 2 in the front of our minds now that a Cloverfield sequel seems likely--I think this property's got plenty of life left as long as they stick to the found-footage aesthetic (I'd go more faux-newsreel for part 2, but producers keep not asking me for advice) and avoid definitive explanations for the monster's existence/actions, but it's just too easy for Hollywood to botch a great premise. To wit: BWP2 was helmed by Joseph Berlinger, who is, along with Errol Morris, one of our premiere documentarians,* and when I heard he was on board I was like, okay, there's no way they can screw this up. Then he made a friggin' teensploitation flick. And a pretentious one at that.

So what I'm saying, David, is that I'll see your "lots of free time" and raise ya.

*Ken Burns is not a documentarian. Ken Burns is the official fluffer of the national psyche.

Anonymous said...

I'll be there opening day for this one....