FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Mar 8, 2011

okay, UNCLE.

Madame FanGirlTastic sent me this still and info from the forthcoming Silent Hill: Revelation and dammit, I've decided to be excited about the film.

That's right. EXCITED. I remember how much I looked forward to Silent Hill and whether or not it ended up living up to the hype I created for myself, it is awfully nice to be pumped about a movie, to gobble up trailers and practically run to the theater for the first showing on opening day. It's easy to get bogged down in cynicism, to no longer care about films coming down the pike because everything sucks anyway, but you know what? Fuck that. I've been mighty bored with horror lately, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being tired of it. I don't want to get all wrapped up in negativity and just put down everything, whether it's in pre-production or it's 30 years old. I love horror, and I love it most when I'm excited about it.

Therefore, I am excited about Silent Hill: Revelation. My interest was aroused (SO HOT) when it was announced that Michael J. Bassett (Wilderness, Deathwatch) was at the helm, and now that the basic plot is out there, my interest is like a boner the size of the Great Wall of China, which plenty of spam messages have assured me I can have if I send away for some pills. Behold!
For years, Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens) and her father have been on the run, always one step ahead of dangerous forces that she doesn’t fully understand. Now on the eve of her 18th birthday, plagued by terrifying nightmares and the disappearance of her father, Heather discovers she's not who she thinks she is. The revelation leads her deeper into a demonic world that threatens to trap her in Silent Hill forever.
DUDE. They're basing it on Silent Hill 3! Heather! Female protagonist! Totally unexpected. Totally boss. I hope that they're true enough to the game that she sports a silver puffy vest and there's some effed up Otherworld mall action.

At the risk of sounding like Kool Aid Man, OH fucking YEAH.

They've just started filming this in Toronto, so it's going to be quite some time before I have to worry about being first in line...but you know what? I CAN'T WAIT.


Dave M said...

That, Ms. Ponder, is the most awesomest horror-related news I have heard in a while.

Now if only someone would take the first 3 SH video games and port them to the 360 I could die a happy man.

Stacie Ponder said...

Agreed! I'd love to see the first game get a graphic overhaul/update a la Resident Evil. Some sort of anniversary re-release or something.

Why don't they let ME run the world?? I have all the best ideas.

Dave M. said...

Stacie for Malevolent Dictator of the World! I would totally be threatened into voting for you ;-)

Stacie Ponder said...

Oooh, that's a good idea. People could leave me offerings of pizza and CDs from Time Life's "Sounds of the 70s" series.

Dave M said...

...and Dallas: The Complete Epic Series on Blu-Ray.



A.J. Axline said...

I support your bid for Global Dictatorship upon the following conditions:

1) You make Jamie Lee Curtis your First Lady.

2) I am given a position on your ruling council, one that involves listening to Duran Duran and playing "Magic 8-Ball" pinball.

3) Everyone goes back to wearing togas, because togas are awesome sauce.

Stacie Ponder said...

Hmm. I will agree to those terms IF we can have Jamie Lee Curtis circa 1982 as First Lady. If it's modern-day JLC, I'm afraid that all she'll want to talk about is bowel movements and "regularity".

Steven and Elizabeth said...

Indeed. It makes me feel old and a little sad to see Laurie Strode getting so excited about probiotic-induced regularity.

As for your bid for global domination (and it seems we've decided that you're running in the next Global Domination Election), you have my unwavering support.

Robert H. said...

Plenty of time to find Bassett's last film, which still hasn't seen a U.S. release, as of yet but can be found if one looks in the right places - SOLOMON KANE, an adaptation of Robert Howard's character to the screen.

StuartOhQueue said...

18? I know the actress is only 21 but she looks a great deal older. Still, that's the Hollywood stretch for you. Very excited for this picture, however. Maybe they'll do the series some real justice this time.

Thomas Duke said...

I really like the first movie, so I am interested in this, but I can't say I have a lot of faith that this will be good. I just saw Resident Evil 4, another horror video game adaptation sequel, and I wanted to hang myself. For the record, I didn't hang myself, only because the movie sapped my will to act.

Also, I don't think those Great Wall of China boner pills actually work, especially if you're a girl. If it's been proven otherwise, please forward any related spam my way. Thank you.

Does the Kool Aid man run around and drop F-Bombs on kids? As if it wasn't bad enough that he feeds children putrid sugar water. Doesn't he punch through walls as well, or is that the Hawaiian Punch guy? Either way, what an asshole.

The word key is "housedle", which is what Don Cheadle calls his home.

Kai said...

This is completely unrelated to this post, but what has happened to The Scare-ening? I miss that shit!

Stacie Ponder said...

We're lame!! We've had a couple of screenings that we've both attended but we forgot to announce cancellations...and we've even just plain forgotten about the show altogether. The new night messed with our heads!

Next week, back and better than ever, even if it's just me doing a reading of the screenplay from...anything.

Kai said...

Awesome! I'll be tuning in.

Slyde said...


Silent Hill 3, for me, still stands as possibly the scariest video game i ever played.

I saw bits of greatness in the first silent hill, but overall i was dissapointed in the experience (although they used the soundtrack to silent hill3 for the movie which i thought was BOSS!)

anyway, you have me stoked now (and i didnt even need boner pills)

TheKungFuProfessor said...

Mmmmm... imdb has it listed as 3D, I hope it isn't as it will just turn into an action shitfest with things flying towards the screen and no storyline whatsoever, like Resident Evil: Afterlife.

I did like Michael J. Basset's Wilderness so there's hope yet.

Stacie Ponder said...

I loved 3D when it was kitschy, but now that EVERYTHING is in 3D...bleh. I'll definitely try to find a 2D showing of this.