FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Apr 30, 2009

Silent Hill 2 be, or not to be?

OMG, see what I did with that post title? It's thisclose to being clever!

Anywhatevers, is reporting that Silent Hill 2 has been scrapped. Or not. For now. Maybe. According to their "source":
...plans for Silent Hill 2 have been cancelled...the film is dead in the water...although the film will not be shooting soon it will still very likely happen.
So...err...not sure what that all means. Maybe simply filming has been postponed because they missed their shooting window? It seems like it's all up in the air. Radha Mitchell may or may not return, blah blah blah. I'd welcome another SH flick, if the script was a wee better than the first. By "wee", I mean "a big wee". I dug the movie and all- the visuals were narf (I think I just made that up...I mean it to be similar to "neat" or "rad" or "boss". Use it in a sentence today!)- but the script was weak with a capital Plug Your Ears. There was a great setup for a sequel in the ending , though, so my fingers are crossed.

In related news, man is a busy-looking website.

In other related news, how come I don't have any sources? I totally want to meet some shadowy figure in a parking lot who'll fill me in with kinda sorta news that's really just page filler. You know: "Platinum Dunes is talking about remaking Rob Zombie's Halloween. There's no writer...or director...or star...or even anything concrete yet, but still." Then I can yell "Whatta scoop!" and high tail it back to my keyboard to bring you all the latest exclusive news. Sigh.

Speaking of Rob Zombie's Halloween, have you seen the trailer for H2? Here it is. Go. Watch.

Back? Alright. Now, I know that despite the childhood romance we shared, my relationship with the original Halloween 2 hasn't exactly been on fire lately. The hospital setting could be mined for gold, though, and for a split second of the H2 trailer it seems as if Zombie might be tapping a vein (which sounds hot). Then...then...a bewigged Sheri Moon-Zombie shows up and...well, my mom taught me that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all- so I'll let my pal JA at My New Plaid Pants say it for me:
...that is so fucking stupid looking I can barely believe it. I mean, my god. Just. My god.
Wait. My mom never taught me any such thing!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE WHITE WINGED DOVE WIGGED GHOST MOM? Yes, Rob Zombie, your wife is hot. Yes, it's understandable that you want to put her in your movies. But Michael's mom died in the first film...not to mention that Michael was already a homicidal kookadook in the first film, so having Mrs Myers become some sort of Mrs Voorhees in the sequel is a craptacular idea with a capital FUCKING CRAP. Also not to mention that her violent urgings go against the slim characterization she had in Halloween and in light of the mother-son relationship it makes no sense and arrrrgh white wigggggggghiusafsduva;vKscjd;C.

Umm. Well. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how it all turns out.


Dark Side said...

I'd like more "Silent Hill" if only to see Pyramid Head chase Radha around with that telephone pole-sized machete again. Re: "H2"... I wrote an article about it where I basically vomited all over the blogosphere. It wasn't pretty. If Zombie wanted a slasher that's haunted by his mommy, he shoulda remade "Friday the 13th" or "Psycho." 'Nuff said.

Verdant Earl said...

Well, maybe Zombie just had so much fun with Mother Firefly that he wanted to recreate that magic.

Maybe he needs to talk about his need for a Mommy with violent urges with a professional.

Maybe seeing his wife in a white wig gives him a white wigged woodie.

I dunno.

Anonymous said...

It might be a good thing that they want to maybe retool the script. Of course, the writer's strike thankfully stopped the cheapquels of "Van Helsing" (Which needs to be done right, with Hugh and not that guy from "Nip/Tuck") and "JAWS". But I don't think that it will happen again...well, that soon after the last one, anyway...

Or maybe to find the right person to direct it. We all know what happened when Rob Cohen, the anti-Stephen Sommers, took over the "Mummy" series...

But as much as I bitch about what the studios do wrong, this might be something they're doing right.

CashBailey said...

SILENT HILL is probably the single most disappointing movie I've ever seen.

I love the games so much and thought that more than any other they had the potential to make an incredible film. If done right, that is.

The trailer and all the shots from the movie that came out were visually perfect. The director and writer said all the right things, so hope was high.


The film ended up being utter shit as far as plot and dialogue went. The Sean Bean character (who should never have made it past his first two scenes) was, by Gans' own admission, a device forced on him by moron studio peeps who thought the movie needed a 'male presence' throughout the film.

And although I did like Laurie Holden's performance she was so ridiculously fetishised that it was impossible to take her seriously throughout. Even though I did enjoy her tight-fitting 'stripper cop' uniform throughout.

The 'exposition scene' towards the end is one of those scenes that should be a jailable offence for screenwriters. And I'm sure if Roger Avary wasn't busy getting loaded, crashing his car and killing people he might agree with me.

For anyone who wants to see the tone and look of SILENT HILL done right, they should check out Nacho Cerda's quite amazing THE ABANDONED.

Enough ranting from me...

Jason Adams said...

Thankfully for us both, Stacie, the only thing my mother ever taught me was to be spiteful and slightly deranged. And how to make a fierce macaroni and cheese dish. And calligraphy. Yay! ;-)

Stacie Ponder said...

Calligraphy, ha! It's so 70s. I bought so many of those disposable calligraphy pens back in the day...then I'd do my homework in shitty faux-calligraphy and I'd get in trouble.

Cash, I agree with you 100%. Maybe more, even!