FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jun 4, 2008

The wednesday you-know-what

All the usual suspects are present and accounted for, folks!

This week at AMC I talk about horror movies based on "actual events"...GET OUT!

Ghostella's Haunted Tomb gets all ten kinds of artsy with Noir D'Ivoire, a surrealist French horror film from 1962. C'est tres scary!

This just in from the I'm A Total Whore Department:

If I tell you about the upcoming Alone in the Dark video game (hitting the streets June 24), then the good folks at Atari will send me a copy of the game to review. I cannot resist the promise of a free scary video game, so I now present to you one of the many trailers for Alone in the Dark:

While the Uwe Boll film (that one featuring Tara Reid as a scientist, which is kind of awesome in an I want to kill myself sort of way) is supposedly based on the game and shares the same name, if that's your only experience with AitD, I assure you, the games are worth your time and I'm very much looking forward to this next installment. AitD was one of the very first (if not the first) entries in the "survival horror" genre, appearing on PC way back in 1992. My introduction to the series came in 1996 when the sequel Alone in the Dark: Jack is Back hit PlayStation, and I gotta tell ya, I fucking hated it. My friend Jim and I spent so much time trying to play the damn thing, but we could never get anywhere. Within moments, some jerk would be throwing our character off a cliff and that was that. Ooh, my blood gets all angried up just thinking about it!

As you all know, however, I am a kind, gentle, forgiving soul- as such, when Alone in the Dark 4: The New Nightmare came along in 2001, I decided to give it a try...and lo, it was good! Advancements in both gaming hardware (the game was released on PS 2 and Dreamcast) (I miss my Dreamcast) and the survival horror genre as a whole made a huge difference and AitD 4 was scary and fun, and no one was chucking me off a cliff repeatedly.

The point of all that is, I'm really looking forward to seeing and playing the next-gen AitD game. If that means you have to deal with some trailers and pictures here on FG, then so be it! It's not as bad as that time I whored myself out for a pack of Freshen Up.

Don't look so high and mighty, you. We've all had our weak moments!


John Barleycorn said...

I have a huge psychic hard-on for this new Alone in the Dark game. Whore away! I'd do the same for an advance copy. In fact, I'd legit give my body to strangers. Takers?

Wes Fierce said...

I too dreaded the perils of being pushed off a cliff repeatedly. I was so happy when AitD4 didnt suck. I wish I had time to play through the new AitD :P

Natazzz said...

Hmmm. I am still playing with my old and beloved N64. Perhaps it is time for an upgrade...

I hate all that artsy crap, therefore this week's GHT rocked.

Anonymous said...

More Corpsella cameos!!

Brittany said...

So, sorry if I'm a bit in the dark (no pun intended), but which system will AitD4 be released for?

Anonymous said...

Best Ghostella yet. If you haven't seen it, hie thee to yon linkery!

spazmo said...

Hey, it's coming out on PS2 (among other platforms)! WhooooHooo!

Man, New Nightmare had some atmosphere. Shadow Island rocked. Those funky ruins, the zombie swamp, the uderworld, and that batty old lady who lives in the attic room with all the candles? Awesome.

I tried to build the Morton Mansion using my Sims game, but it was too huge; by the time I started the library I had ran out of memory :(

Tyson said...

I was also pretty bummed by AitD for the Playstaion. At that time there were quite a few broken horror titles for the PS1. (Evil Dead anyone?) But it didn't piss me off half as much as the abortion they called a game, Silent Hill 4! YEESH!

Anonymous said...

Wow, hating on SH4? Really? It's no 2, to be sure, but I thought it was a good time.

Anyway, yeah, Dreamcast. Such an ignominous fate for such a great system. I managed to keep myself away from video games for years--the Atari 5200 proved that I couldn't be trusted with addictive activities--but a friend lent me his DC with RE: Code Veronica, and now I'm one of those guys with 3 consoles hooked up to a splitter.

AndrewKach said...

Whoa. You don't happen to still have any of that Freshen Up gum around still, do you? Funny, I would have pegged you as more of a Bonkers fan.

I wonder if you've ever tried the "Thief" series of games? There are some real freak-out moments. They're very immersive and the undead can be pretty damn scary. Give 'em a shot.

Anonymous said...

Is this one you can get into even if you've never played an AITD game before (like story-wise)? I am a big fan of survival horror (Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Nightmare Creatures) but never got to AITD.
It's coming out on the Wii which is rad because RE 4: Wii Edition is currently rocking/spanking/tickling my ass. Most surv. hor. games are coming out on the other systems.

Megan D. said...

I will spare you having to watch AITD for the terrifyingest Tara Reid moment:

Tara in a lab coat, ponytail, glasses, and a clipboard. Dr. Reid says of some artifacts where they had been previously found "Alaska. Newfoundland. Venezuela. And now this one's from Chile"

Except she pronounces it noo-FOUND-land, accent on the 'land'. Just think, THAT was the best take of the line.

OOoh! Mispronunciation is scary!

endoftunnel said...

Tara Reid cast as a scientist? That' like casting Andy Dick in a remake of the Terminator. Just not believable!
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Arbogast said...

Two more days and this subject header will be relevant again!

Anonymous said...

God, Stacy, I can't believe you've stooped so low. How could you? Just for a stupid, lame, boring game like Alone in the Dark? I thought you had higher standards than using cheap commercialism. I'm shocked and disappointed you're pandering to the herd of...what?...oh...wait a minute, will you? thanks...he is? is!!!...splendid!

Got to go, my reviewer copy of Alone in the Dark just arrived in the morning post. Can't wait to plug it in! Buh-bye!

Anonymous said...

The original one, with the incredibly simplistic polygonal graphics, has got to be one of my favorite games of all time. Controls were touchy, and the graphics were eye-gougingly bad, but oh the atmosphere! Oh the pacing! Oh the zombie pirates!

Also, there was a great sandbox quality to it. If a monster is going to come through a trapdoor, you can push a heavy box onto the door and watch smugly as the monster pounds for a while and then gives up and goes home. I always appreciated that.

Anonymous said...

its june 11 and still no update...youve been slacking lately girl!and im still waiting to hear what you thought of The Strangers!