FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Aug 1, 2006


Hey kids- I just got back from a top secret meeting with one of my informants- let's call him "John of the awesome site Retro Slashers", shall we? I think it was him, at least, though his face was obscured in the shadows of the parking garage and I think he may have been using a voice scrambler because he had that gurgly robotic voice some people have on shows like Cheaters when they don't want to be identified.

All right, fine...he sent me an email, OK? I just wanted to jazz things up a little, that's all. Don't blame me...this wretched heat is doing things to my brain. ANYWAY, John pointed me right here to a little show on YouTube called Meet Cleaver Theatre wherein the trailer for the first Sleepaway Camp is up, so go check out the lo-fi goodness. It's some primo, Grade-A 80s slasher fare.

If you watch the segment, you'll notice that the host guy talks about me. Me! ME! MEEEEEE! Or this site anyway. I'm truly humbled by the video shoutout! Thanks to the folks at Meet Cleaver Theatre...incidentally, I checked out their site briefly and there's a mind-boggling amount of information and videos there that will ensure many visits from moi.

What perplexed me, though, is that I'm referred to as "mysterious". Am I mysterious? I don't really think so. Man, the internerd is weird.

"But Stacie," you say, "the host is holding a pipe, and the pipe adds validity to anything he has to say. I therefore agree with him and you are, in fact, mysterious."

Hmm. Perhaps you're all right. Maybe if I post a picture of myself and you can finally put a face to a name you'll see I'm but a simple girl who likes to write about horror movies. There's no mystery, there's no wizard behind the curtain...I'm just like you. We are the world, my friends...we are the world. But if you need proof to believe me, well then, behold! Here's your hostess with the mostess.
I don't want to sound too cocky here, but damn I'm hot. Make that hott. know what? I'm confident enough to say it right here...I'm hawt. This picture is a little embarassing, I'll admit. Had I known my friends were bringing a camera on our hike, then surely I would've worn undies that day.


Anonymous said...

I won't say where, but if you dig around certain links in or around this site, you will find photographic evidence of an alleged "Stacie Ponder"

Anonymous said...

Bah! Everybody knows that Stacie is merely a virtual know-it-all fancy-pants girlie fabricated by the Evil Overlord of the Information Superhighway... she's been put here to fool gullible people into thinking that there are actually COOL people who are on this so-called "internets" (if that even is, in fact, its REAL name.)

Stacie Ponder said...

Dammit Brian, you're giving away all my secrets.

All right, fine, the jig is up...I was invented by Al Gore.

Anonymous said...

Worn undies, or waxed even? The damn paparazzi are everywhere these days...

Des said...

Invented by Al Gore?

Stacie, are warming?

Stacie Ponder said...

Theron, much like Frida Kahlo I'm extremely proud of my hirsuteness and therefore I don't wax. Most of my friends are used to it by now.

This is not to say I'm above shaving cuss words into my hairy back, however.

Des, I am in fact known as Global Warming on the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling circuit. My finishing move is called the "Ozone Hole".

It's painful.

Anonymous said...

I never knew you were so beautiful! ;)

Rock on!

Stacie Ponder said...

I put the "her" in "hirsute", baby! Rowwrr!