FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Jun 3, 2016

Well. That's that.

Okay. Yes. Here goes. It's time to write the post I've wanted to write for a while now, the post where I tell you that I'm shutting down the ol' Final Girl.

This site has been such a large part of my life for so long that to be honest, I am not entirely sure what I will do without it, but this decision feels right for many reasons. Most of these reasons are not understandable, some of them are unshareable, and two of the reasons are Lunchable.

Final Girl is approaching its eleventh anniversary, and that is a long time! 11 years is almost 1/10th of my lifespan so far! Many things can change in 11 years, I don't need to tell you that. In the span of that 11 years, I've moved cross-country twice. I've lost a beloved pet. (I mean he died, not that he vanished and I don't know where he is.) For some of that 11 years, I knew what I was doing, I think. That is not really the case anymore. Sometimes it seems I have things figured out, but mostly it feels like I'll never have things figured out. "I must confess I've made a mess of what should be a small success"–that's a line (from one of my favorite songs of the last few years, Courtney Barnett is really great, you guys) that rings awfully true.

I know I'm probably not making sense. Let's just say that my relationships with horror and movies and horror movies have changed over the last decade.

I am maybe too quick to bug out when something's not working for me, be it a job or a city or a person or a hairstyle. At the first sign of strife, I make a rash decision that changes all of my circumstances. Usually listening to my gut or The Universe or whatever proves to be the right thing to do and life vastly improves.

Once in a while, though, I hang on to something just a bit too long. This isn't working for me, but the wages are nice. This isn't working for me, but the rent is cheap. This isn't working for me, but I like your face. This isn't working for me, but I guess you'll grow out at your own pace won't you.

I kind of feel like I've hung on to Final Girl for too long.

How could I not hang on? Again, it's been such a large part of my life. It's brought me great things, great opportunities and experiences, and great people. But at the present...I'm not sure what we're giving each other anymore. Or what I'm giving Final Girl, really. I can't be bothered to get worked up–negatively or positively–over some new piece of horror news. Horror movies now constitute approximately 10% of what I watch. When I do watch a horror movie, I no longer feel the need to pontificate, to judge, to have an opinion. It's not just about reviews, per se, it's about all of it. I've thought about turning this into a "movie blog" instead of a "horror movie blog" but this is a horror movie blog. And there's an abundance of those. Horror movie sites are everywhere. Plenty of people are writing lists and talking about Final Girls and examining this movie or that, and I don't much feel the need to add my voice to the din anymore. Ugh, I'm sick of myself and I'm tired of mouthing off...and what good is a blog if you're not gonna mouth off on it?

So what does all of this mean? Well, the site isn't going anywhere. It'll still exist, I'm not going to 404 it from The Information Superhighway. Briefcase Woman will never die! (More to the point, she cannot die.) I'm not cutting horror or horror movies out of my life completely, I just need to reevaluate my relationship to them. I need to write other things, and do other things. But who knows, maybe I will run a piece once in a while–I probably won't be able to resist Final Girl's siren song. I will update with any newsworthy news regarding...me. Regarding my work, I mean. But I won't be updating with any regularity, and you should know that because it's the worst when sites fall into limbo. I would say that maybe I'll find some kind of "Activia for the horror blogger" and my irregularity will become regularity–maybe Final Girl will be struck by lightning or accidentally resurrected via telekinesis. But then that would make this post and all of my fretting over it–and boy have I been fretting–silly. Sillier than it already is. Then again, as I said, I do love a rash decision!

Even if I vanish completely into the ether after hitting publish on this post, though, know that from the bottom of my tiny cold nub of a heart that I thank you. Thank you so much for reading over the years, for commenting and talking and sharing and making me feel like this has indeed been a worthwhile endeavor.

Edited to add: Listen you guys, wow wow. Thank you all so very much for all of the kind words here, in emails, on the Faceplace, all of it. I had no idea! It's incredibly humbling and, to be totally honest, more than a little motivating. It's a good thing I've left the door open here. *cackles, twirls metaphorical handlebar moustache*


64 comments:

John said...

Adios, but many fond regards, Stacie. Hope you can enjoy a more organic relationship with horror movies now that you're free of your blog's constraints.. Will keep this blog in my RSS reader till your next venture. :)

Benjamin Hall said...

I always enjoyed reading this blog! Thanks for all the time you put into it in the past decade!!

Jonathan Allen said...

Hey Stacie -- The nice thing about retiring is that it makes it possible to again enjoy the thing that became your wretched responsibility, and maybe even remember why you loved it. I think Stephen King has written more since his retirement from writing than he did before (which, personally, I consider to be a bad thing, but there it is).

Good luck, and if I were you I wouldn't hesitate to pull the stake out of Final Girl's heart whenever you feel like saying anything about anything at all. You've got a strong enough brand here that I really don't see why you should feel limited to discussing horror, particularly if you're just not feeling it.

I don't believe anyone knows what they're doing with their lives: they're just doing stuff.

Sam Costello said...

It's been a wonderful site, Stacie! Thanks for making it so great for so many years. All the best in what comes next for you.

lostphrack said...

I've really enjoyed reading your posts over the years and I'll definitely miss seeing them pop up in my feed.

That said, 11 years is crazy long time! :O I knew it was a while but I didn't realize how long you've been at it!

So, thank you for all those years of awesome reading and writing!

Pierre Fournier said...

Happy Trails, Stacie. Thanks for the insights, thanks for the laughs. You're a great writer.

B.E. Earl said...

Always been one of my favorite reads. We'll miss you, Stacie. Good luck!

Stacie Ponder said...

You guys are the best, really. Thank you.

stevebikes said...

It's been a great run, Stacie. Thanks for all the SHOCKtobers!

crazycanuck said...

All the best Stacie, enjoyed your blog. I think Jason will be wearing a black armband today after this news.

Waxdude said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Still the best horror blog out there, and for that I thank you.

Greg F. said...

I knew it had to happen eventually. I found you through Arbogast on Film and still think you're easily one of the best writers I've ever read. So long, Stacie. Best of luck in everything you do.

CashBailey said...

I've been following your stuff for quite a few years, Stacie.

It's sad to see you go but we all have to move on at some point.

Thanks for all the laughs.

ChrisLucente said...

Oh, Stacie, this news totally bums me out. BUT... I totally get it. In fact, your reasoning (was that reasoning? LOL) just about sums up my life. I don't deal with change very well. And here's another one. But I'll get by. And so will YOU. To quote Willona (sp?) from "Good Times": "Times change, people change. There's no need to bring up all THAT. What about all THIS?" Thankfully, Final Girl blog and Briefcase Lady will still be here for me to get my 'reviews index' on in the middle of the night. Doesn't matter that I read all of them 1000 times already. Good luck, my dear! Miss you already. I need to watch JAWS: THE REVENGE to cheer up.

Alexander of the Winding Way said...

Awww no! I'm very sad to hear this, you will be missed. As an avid reader if only (very) occasional commenter, I just want to add my thank you to the pile, for all you've done. Thanks to your sterling work I've discovered a whole load of movies I'd never have seen otherwise, and I've read about whole load of films I had seen in the most entertaining style. I too will keep your site in my RSS feed and will look out for any further announcements or projects from you. Take care...

Pokemon Postmon said...

Over the past few years I've stumbled in and out of your blog. You have opened my eyes to various things in that time which I am truly thankful for. I can only wish you well in all your future ventures and, well, the future in general. :)

Mark Trammell said...

Stacie, I genuinely loved reading your posts over the years, and I would even go so far as to say you've been an influence in my own writing, at least in terms of embracing my inner snark and letting my voice shine through in my work rather than buying in to the whole "writing should be objective not subjective" thing that a lot of editors over the years have tried to get me to kowtow to, in service of making my stuff be like most everyone else's.
Rather than stuffing down my personality from my writing, I let my Freak Flag fly, and that's at least in part because of your stuff, if in no small part to my own stubbornness as well.
It was a pleasure interviewing you for Rue Morgue and engaging with you via the comment section both here and on Facebook, and I wish you success in whatever your next endeavor might be- I'm sure it will be great, whatever it is.
Hope we can stay in touch, and keep up the good work, regardless. You will certainly be missed!

Unknown said...

This is my fault, isn't it? I've been reading for years and this is my first comment. I knew it.

Seriously, I have really enjoyed this blog and I think you're a great writer. I'll miss it. And now what am I going to do with my favorite horror moment list?

Best wishes.

Roderick Heath said...

Fare thee well, Final Girl. A kick-line of knife-wielding zombie cheerleaders wing thee to thy rest. And thank you for actually writing horror reviews that were funny, coherent, and genuine all the time.

MARTIN said...

Thank you Stacie, for everything. I started my own horror movie blog because I love Final Girl so much so it will be sorely missed.

smogo said...

Nooooooooo! You're the funniest and best horror movie reviewer on the internet Stacey, you know that right? You will be hella missed. Good luck with everything. xxx

smogo said...

Oh fuck and sorry for spelling your name wrong!

Cinema & Television said...

I'm completely, selfishly bummed out about this. I discovered Final Girl in 2006 and it has been my favorite blog ever since. Not because it's a horror blog, but mainly due to you and your writing. I hope you find another avenue to channel your talent and interest. I, for one, will follow your next move with great interest.

So long and thanks for all the memories, Stacie!

Rest In Peace,
Final Girl

David Lee Ingersoll said...

Thank you for the years of entertaining reading!

Marvin the Macabre said...

I too have cooles a bit on horror in the last few years, so I totally get it. However, I have not cooled on the batshit wonderful prose stylings of Ms. Stacie Ponder. Basically I'll read anything you write (or draw), and I needs my fix. So here's to hoping for a future filled with whatever Ponderables you can gift us.

Unknown said...

I am sad, for it was this site that prompted me to start my own (very kindly linked to on your page) and ironic as I decided a few months ago to start winding things down over the next year for similar reasons! Are we old? We're old, aren't we?

Nevertheless, you're still THE best about-horror writer I've encountered and, like all sub-genres, things eventually have to end before they go straight-to-DVD (or VOD or whatever it is now).

Love!

Vegan Voorhees

Robert Kirby said...

This site has been such a pleasure for me for the past several years. I totally get where you're coming from, it's always good to know when it's time to stop (or at least take a good long break). Thanks for all the laughs and insights and the genuinely good + fresh writing and viewpoints. Onward!

Madamoiselle Macabre said...

Sad to see you go, but excited to see whatever you do next. Keeping a blog active for 11 years and keeping it insightful and funny is no small feat. And on top of that, you've influenced a lot of your readers to become writers themselves. Let's hear a cheer of "Stacie Ponder fucking rocks!"

Reading this (and your Dallas blog) always brought a smile to my face and helped me keep my sanity when I was stuck in the ninth circle of temp-job hell. With the adventures of Briefcase Lady and musings about cockroaches who fart fire, who needs Prozac?

Thanks for all the fun of Final Girl and best wishes!

highwayknees said...

Aw shucks that sucks Stacie...but like they say change is good for the chicken soup -er, or something like that. Will miss reading your always enjoyable rants and raves here on Ye Olde Final Girl but-hopefully you will metamorphose into something new and even better! I have every faith.

Your penpal Ray, aka:
"highwayknees"

Michelle said...

Thank you so much for your wonderful writing over the years. You are my favorite two things--smart and funny. I don't remember how I found you, but I'm so very glad that I did.

Eric said...

Thank you, thnakoyu, THANKYOU! Your website has been a favourite going on eight years years now. Love reading your posts, sharing them and re-reading them. Your gallery of regrettable Michael Myers Masks had become a regular staple of my seasonal Halloween posts on Fbook ever since you first published it and it never fails to make me and my friends laugh. Long live Briefcase Woman!! We will miss you! Good luck with future endeavours!

Diandra said...

Your blog has been awesome! Wishing you the best in the future.

Sir Jorge said...

I'm seeing a lot of this lately. I'm still posting away to the lowest ratio of visitors ever on scaryfilmreview, but alas, I still post. Perhaps limited posts or non-posts will suffice. It's been real.

Paul Hurh said...

Bummed to hear this news. I stumbled on the blog last Shocktober and have been an avid reader (of the archives!) ever since. Wish I had been there for the whole ride, but I'm grateful for all the work you've put in the site. 11 years and countless movies and so so many words. Hilarious, insightful words.

You've contributed so much to horror fandom with this blog--thank you so much and good luck in your next project!

Anthony Hudson said...

Aw man. I figured it might be coming and I'm happy to follow whatever you do next - especially can't wait for the Martyrs book! I've been reading since it started when I was 19 - 11 years later and I'm so happy to have gained lots of laughter, insight, and great recommendations from my favorite blog, not to mention connecting with you and being lucky enough to show IN SATAN'S CLOSET at my Queer Horror festival here in Portland!

Thanks for everything you've done and do, Stacie!

David Nilsen said...

It's going to suck losing you. I've really enjoyed your writing and your enthusiasm. Best of luck in everything you do from here on out.

Unknown said...

First time commenter, but I've been joyously reading the site for years. There's no other writer out there with your voice and perspective. Thank you for all the wonderful posts! I can't wait to see what you do next :)

Emma M said...

Oh wow. This was definitely one of my favorite horror blogs (favorite anyblogs, really); your writing is great! Good luck with whatever you do next, and thanks for all the laughs

jj said...

You were one of the great, happy trails!

John LaTour said...

This sucks.

eightieshair said...

Sad news indeed. But I guess when it's time to move on it's time to move on.

Final Girl's been one of my favorite horror blogs since 2009. Reading here gave me my first inkling of "Wait a minute, you mean I'm not the only one who thinks that Friday the 13th part 2 is the best in the series and that Amy Steel rocks? There's a whole mess who think that? Whoah."

Anyway, I'm sure I'll drift back here and browse the archives from time to time. Let me add my voice to the folks upthread in saying that I've kept reading as much for your signature Final Girl prose stylings and humor as for the horror content.

Good luck in your post Final Girl Career!

beedubelhue said...

Hey Ponder,

Happy trails! Thanks for many years' worth of good reading and entertainment.Here's to great happiness in whatever you decide to do from here on in. The sky's the limit.


Your Pal,
Big Wop

Antonio Gómez Olmos said...

Thank you for all this years of entertainment, it's been a blast, I wish you the best in your future and your next projects.

StuntmanMarc said...

Thank you, Stacie, for giving us the best horror blog on the web. You're an amazing writer. a brilliant artist, and I'll treasure my personalised Slashers 101 mag forevs! Good luck with whatever you do next. xx

originalslugboy said...

Thanks for the years of silliness, FG. Highest of fives from my non-briefcase hand.

mulholland said...

Final Girl is such a great blog. I've been reading it for the last several years and wish I had discovered it even sooner. Thank you for so many wonderful posts, reviews, etc. This blog will be terribly missed. I hope you do decide to post now and then when you feel like it. Please don't hesitate to start a movie blog or any other type of blog for that matter. Your opinions, humor and intelligence are so unique. Good luck, Stacie!

Rob said...

Well this sucks to hear, but I totally get it. Been reading Final Girl for at least 9 years (think I stumbled into here while following an Amy Steel link online) and was hooked ever since. I've enjoyed all the fluffy, fun effluvia but I've really treasured the thoughtful analys'es of movies like Funny Games (which I've seen) and Haute Tension (which I've not, for the most part).
Gay male though I am, I love Annie Brackett, Adrienne Barbeau and Heather Langenkamp.
The world needs more people like them, and more people like you too.
Best wishes to you in all your endeavors, and thank you for this wonderful site!

The Blake Sheep said...

In lieu of this, can you please restart the Dallas Reviewed Blog please??? My favorite part of the week was when your review would post, I still crack up reading the older ones. But either way, thank you for hours and hours of entertainment and wit, you really are one of a kind!

Kensington said...

Thanks for everything, Stacy. "Final Girl" has been my favorite horror blog, period.

Thanks, also, for not taking it down. It will be nice to reference as I hit films you reviewed that I've not seen before.

Best of luck to you! :)

Kensington said...

Thanks, also, for the old blogtalkradio show/podcast. That was terrific, too, even if you sometimes got crapped on by listeners (and even guests at least one time, if I remember correctly.)

RetroMedia X said...

I dont know what to say! You have been a constant reading companion for so long. I'm in shock. Maybe its like a horror movie where the villain seems dead but then he comes back for one more hurrah! In any case, thanks for the memories and the inspiration...

The Horrorist said...

Stacie it's good I'm from Europe cause I would totally go Misery on you. Keeping you to myself to write posts on Final Girl. But off course I respect your choice. You can proudly look back on 11 years of quality writing. Not only did you write professional pieces on horror movies, but you gave it a personal touch. Thank you for that and good luck.

Cinema & Television said...

I'm not giving up hope! I will patiently wait for the sequel.

Final Girl Part II - Briefcase Woman Takes Manhattan

Dean said...

Thanks for a lot of laughs for a lot of years, even when I was a jerk and disagreed with you. Best of luck with whatever, even if that turns out to be a remake!

Viking71 said...

Wow....I can't remember which movie review drew me here, but I've laughed so much and found many great flicks because of you. I even gave a copy of your Slashers 101 comic to my niece and she loved it.

I hope, like some others that after some time passes that you'll come back to it again, and know that whenever I watch horror this site is the first one I look to see a review. Good horror never dies (hell, bad horror never dies either), but GREAT writing is priceless and you have the talent and wit and made your corner of the Web what it is. I can tell that horror's in your blood, you've just lost the passion temporarily. That's perfectly ok, but remember what The Tall Man said - IT'S NEVER OVER! :)

Thank you so much for cheering me up with your reviews, all the films I never knew existed and your style. Best of luck and please don't leave us completely. We love ya!

- Charlie

spazmo said...

You're one of my heroes, Stacie. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for this lost and lonely horror geek.



Kevin B said...

A little late but man, this took me by surprise. I think I started following Final Girl about nine or ten years ago, possibly lead to it by fire-farting cockroaches. I was hooked by your humor and writing style, it just really clicked with me. The thing is I kind of hate blogs; yours is one of only two in the entire Internet that I followed, and yours was the only one of the two that remained active up to this point.

So, thank you Stacie for the years of entertainment. There are so many movies that I never would have seen had you not featured them here and with your hilarious commentary (Cathy's Curse, Death Bed, Pieces to name a few). Also thank you for leaving the blog up so the archive lives on. Even with this development I will still check in every now and then just in case you post a ninja update. Good luck with your future projects, be they horror, not-horror, or horror-not-horror hybrids.

Yum-Yum said...

You rule, Stacie. I will miss your wit.

Eric Millen said...

stay here, there is nothing else out there, haha

Wren said...

You can't leave without reviewing The Final Girls!!! It's not fair!!

Thanks for introducing me to so many great films, and best wishes to what lies next!

Chris Otto said...

Peace and best wishes, Stacie. You gave us more than we could have possibly dreamed for with this blog. But that's really not what's important. What's important is peace and best wishes to you with everything you do, moving forward.

pers0na said...

Just wanted to drop by and say thank you for the exceptional bloggery contained within these here pages and all the button pushing and thunking that went into that. It has been the finest and funnest and funniest place to go for all my horror needs. It has helped to enhance my love and understanding of horror in general, and shone a light on a shitton of ridiculous treasure that I might have never come across otherwise. Without this blog i might never have seen Pieces.

I remember there being a mention of a book a while back. I do hope that comes into fruition. Whether a collected works of the Final Girl or some new writing entirely. Crossing fingers for that one.

There seems to be a lack of good, funny, insightful and well put together movie podcasts out there. Or at least ones that I'm aware of*. Just saying. Maybe another format could reinvigorate things. Books, podcasts, whatever about whatever. So this is a stranger on the internet requesting that you write more stuff. K thanx.

*Except for You Must Remember This - that one's pretty dope.

And thanx for all the stuff written in the past. This is the only blog that has ever made me ever want to watch Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes. I never did end up watching it. But for a second there I really wanted to. And that's gotta count for something right? If not, then what else is there..?

abcde609 said...

This is truly sad. It was nice to know that there were (many!) people out there who loved the 80s horror movies as much as I did as I was growing up back then. You, however, put that love into words with far greater skill than most everyone else. The slowdown of posts was a sign of things to come, I always knew that - but I shall still miss the updates here enormously. You and Vern will always be my favorite internet film reviewers - certainly the last "human" ones left out there.

mulholland said...

Excited about the edited to add!!! I hope this means we get our Final Girl (or something) back soon!