FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Sep 30, 2019

SHOCKtober is here! Well, almost

My dudes, my dudettes, my boths, and my neithers, can you smell that? No, not that. The other that. Why it's just musty old moi gazing out my window on this SHOCKtober Eve as this high holiday season approaches. Here is a live feed:

And YES I SAID SEASON. Summer is but an awful memory. There are plastic eyeballs for sale at Rite Aid. Horror fans are...agitated, and not just because someone online told someone else online that The Haunting (1999) is better than The Haunting (1963). Okay, I'm agitated about that because that really happened and can you believe THE NERVE?! But truly, all of us horror weirdos are riled up, baby, because it's Spooky Scary Season. Everyone is assembling lists of things to watch, light-up skulls are being arranged just so, candy corns are consumed, candy corns are reviled, candy corns are consumed and reviled. I got a new pair of black winter gloves at the dollar store and they have skulls on them and they're wicked and honestly, if you didn't know it already then I'm telling you now: the dollar store is the best place for all your wicked, horror-flavored glove needs. If you're like me, then those needs are legion.

ANYWAY the point is, it's SHOCKtoberin' time!

If you listen Gaylords of Darkness, then you might have caught me revealing this year's plans on last week's episode (our 52nd! Gaylords is a year old!). If you don't listen to Gaylords, first of all, how dare you. Second, then you might not realize exactly how obsessed I was, I am, and I will forever be with Suspiria (2018). I am telling you, dearest reader, that movie put a spell on me! We have dedicated a whopping THREE episodes of the podcast to it (omg like the Three Mothers) and we've mentioned it....mmm, probably 83264924 times (omg like the 83264924 Mothers) (I wish). Really, I can't get enough of that film. There is so much there there, so many threads to untangle and unravel, so much to discuss and talk about and analyze and and and! So what better place to indulge myself and my mania than right here? And so this year, SHOCKtober is going to be 31 Days of Suspiria.

What will those 31 days entail? Many things. Some analyzin', some deep looks and fond gazes at different themes or characters or moments. Probably a few light posts that are mostly visuals. If you're thinking that 31 days dedicated to that film is too much, well, sweet girl, I think 31 years wouldn't be enough.

No, I don't want you to send help, but I thank you for your offer.

So I am beyond super fucking stoked for that! BUT. I've also been ruminating. See, it's GD Spooky Scary Season! As you might expect, I feel like watching spooky scary movies. In some SHOCKtobers past, I've done the whole movie-a-day thing. (That was how I celebrated the first October around here, even. So long ago. We are all so ancient now.) And hey, it's a proven fact that forcing yourself to do things is the way to best enjoy said things! I thought to meself hmm, what if in addition to 31 Days of Suspiria, I attempted a good old fashioned SHOCKtober celebration, the likes of which haven't been seen 'round these parts since way back in 2014? Would I go mad? Yes. Is it worth it, to provide entertainment (or, at the least, "entertainment") to, like, the four people who will read the reviews? I guess so.

Ever since I thought about adding a second post-per-day goal for the month, there's been a voice in my ear telling me it's a bad idea, that I will lose my mind, I will hate myself, that my fingers will fall off, that the idea has a death curse on it. Well, fuck that voice! It is happening! It is happening!

So. Starting tomorrow. 31 Days of Suspiria, 31 Days of Reviews. Come November, will I be alive, and what will be left of me? Ah, who cares! Long live SHOCKtober!