a few things!

While I won't be able to return to regular posting 'round here until next month, there are a few things that will maybe tide you over until then! Or at least this post about those few things will occupy you for the next ~14 seconds, which is better than zero seconds. Well, I guess that depends on what's actually happening during those seconds, no? I can think of a few things that would be a terrible way to spend even such a small amount of time, like, say, watching ~14 seconds of one of those David Gordon Green Halloween movies. Unless they were ~14 seconds that feature em-bang-ened hero Lindsey Wallace, as portrayed by icon/Real Housewife Kyle Richards, of course.

Sorry, I've had more coffee today than I really realized whilst drinking it all, so now I'm going on and taking up more than ~14 seconds of your time! Also, obviously, using both "icon" and "Real Housewife" to describe a woman is redundant. But...on to the things!

THING 1:

I wrote an essay that's included with the recent fancy Blu-ray release of Asian horror anthologies Three and Three...Extremes from Arrow Video. In it, I examine what the loaded term "extreme" means in relation to Asian horror, as well as the ways the represented regions of Three (South Korea, Thailand, and Hong Kong) differ in their approaches to horror filmmaking and the supernatural.

THING 2:

Also from Arrow come a new, fancy Blu-ray release of Wes Craven's 1986 film Deadly Friend, and I'm on the commentary track alongside Alex West of The Faculty of Horror, The 1990s Teen Horror Cycle, and mucho more. This might be a UK-only release? Someone start a change.org petition if so! (btw I loooove the alternative cover art so much.)

THINGS 3 & 4:

Of course these are the two ongoing things, my column (and assorted other work) in Rue Morgue magazine and my podcast Final Girl After Dark. Both of these things get me pumped UP! So I hope you enjoy them as well, should you partake.

Hahaha remember those Halloween movies! Terrible.

Some stuff from lately!

Hello! Whilst I am enjoying yet another in a long string of cold and rainy days, I thought I would take to the wires to deliver some of the hottest stuff that's been on the radar lately here in stately Final Girl Manor.

First of all, let's get the promo out of the way:

We are on the HOME STRETCH over at The Detective and the Log Lady, the Twin Peaks podcast I'm doing with Mike Muncer of The Evolution of Horror. Can you believe it? Only a wee handful of episodes remaining in The Return and then some wrap-ups and then...I don't even want to think about "and then." Although I will not lie to you, The Return is often rather trying. It's on the upswing for sure, but also I don't want to get my hopes up about any of it. What a journey! Hear all about it at that link or, of course, wherever you get your podcasts.

In other podcastin' news, I recently made a return appearance on The Monday Afternoon Movie with the inimitable Sam Pancake. We dished on the 1970 made-for-TV film Ritual of Evil, starring Louis Jourdan and Anne Baxter, and the entire affair was a delight. Check it out at the link or, you know.

Now then, on to Franchises of the Heart! In which I ask: have you set a course for the Jason Universe? Pardon me, I mean the JASON UN1V3RSE?? 

Whatever that is. Apparently the lawsuit that I never really understood that blocked all sorts of new Friday the 13th things from happening has been settled, and so now all sorts of new Friday the 13th things will happen? The first of which is the launching of the JASON UN1V3RSE, which comprises one photo of a Greg Nicotero-designed Jason Voorhees. Is it actually a photo? Is it AI? I can't even tell anymore. Regardless, tell your eyes to BLAST OFF into the stars and take a peep:

I have seen many people lamenting his "regular dude" stature and bemoaning the lack of a "Kane Hodder" stature, but as a regular dude Jason enthusiast I think it's just fine. Nothing to really get excited about, nor anything to get all bent about. Call me when he moves!

Speaking of teaching an old slasher new tricks, there is another new Halloween iteration coming!!

Well, this is what I can only assume after noticing the pattern established by my handy "Halloweens per Pope" charts. I initially made this to reap some sweet sweet SEO rewards (don't ask me how I'll benefit or what that even means, really), but I thought of it too late and now Pope Fever seems to be dying down. However! I was shocked--SHOCKED--by these charts and at the risk of sounding like Laurie Strode of Arc or something, obviously it has been ordained by the great Haddonfield in the sky that a New Pope means a new era for Michael Myers. To wit:

HALLOWEENS PER POPE

SEE??! It's practically a guarantee. So at some point in the near future when everyone is arguing over the look of the new AI Michael Myers and saying "MORE Halloween? I thought David Gordon Green killed that shit off!", remember that you heard it here first.

Les Peaks, c'est chic

YES I know that title should really be Les Peaks, ce sont chics, but that extra syllable throws the rhythm off okay! And as a member of Rhythm Nation in good standing (last time I checked, anyway), it must be prioritized.

ANYWAY, if you are a listener of The Detective and the Log Lady, the weekly Twin Peaks podcast I co-host, then you know that we have recently finished Season 2 of the TV show. Wowzee wow! Time sure does fly. 

If you're a-wonderin' what we'll be covering from here on out and when, here's a li'l schedule for you. I'm super pumped!!

PLEASE NOTE that when we cover The Missing Pieces on February 10th, we will also be covering The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer. 

That's right, The Secret Diary and The Secret History. We are reading for this podcast.

And if you are a Peaks noob like me, FYI The Missing Pieces is a feature-length assemblage of deleted scenes from Fire Walk With Me. It's available in the US (at least) on the Criterion Channel and as an extra on the Criterion FWWM disc. Maybe it's also available in other places! Following the Evolution of Horror socials might give you a tip, as folks like to help each other out with that kind of info.

As always, you can find the podcast on the EoH website or on whichever podcast platform tickles your cherry pie.

I LOVE TWIN PEAKS!

News you can use!

In all of last month's (is it "last month" already?) Suspiria madness, I neglected to mention a few other things I've got going on that may be of interest. Or they may not! I don't know what you like. The point is, I'd might as well spill some beans now.

To help the fine folks at FanByte celebrate all things spooky, I wrote 'em two pieces this week. And they posted them! First, a case for why Annabelle is the queer horror icon 2019 deserves. (That one elicited many a "bro whut" comment on the social media from their readership, much to my delight.) The second is an examination of some of the new Final Girls in horror and how the trope has evolved since the slasher heyday.

I've got a few reviews in the newest issue of Rue Morgue, on newsstands now! It feels nice to be back in their pages again. Also, I am dying to see The Lodge.

As always, there is a new episode of Gaylords of Darkness every Wednesday. But this week I also appeared–well, my voice did, at least–on another podcast. I joined Colin Drucker for an episode of his delightful show In the Details: A Celebration of Nuance where we positively plotzed over Ruth Gordon's performance in Rosemary's Baby. Watching that movie in preparation for his show...man, it had been a while and I was just about overcome with its absolute perfection. It's perfect, isn't it? What a marvel. You can find Colin's show on iTunes, etc–you know, wherever podcasts are conjured.

Last but MOST DEFINITELY NOT LEAST: We're having our first live episode of Gaylords of Darkness this December!

On Friday, December 13th!

Where we will also be screening Friday the 13th 1 & 2 on 35mm!

AND CONDUCTING A Q & A WITH SPECIAL GUESTS ADRIENNE KING AND AMY STEEL!

Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th Part 2. On Friday the 13th. Alongside the films' respective Final Girls. 

I cannot believe this is a real thing.

All of this is happening at the Hollywood Theatre in Portland, OR. Tickets are already in presale for members of that theatre; tickets for the general public go on sale Monday, November 4th at noon PST.

I am losing my mind over this.

All the non-movie bits will be recorded and will be available as an episode of our show at some point after.

I honestly have to pinch myself. It is going to be amazing!

I think that's it for now. You have to admit, there's some pretty fucking great news in this post!

Hooray for Everything!

You know how it goes: you make a baby, the baby becomes a bigger baby, and then an even bigger baby.  Such s the case with Final Girl, who turns a whopping 13 years old today! Thirteen. The scariest of all ages except for 666 and 40!

Our Final Girl is becoming a Final Woman, you guys, and holy crapping crap I can't believe how the time flies.

I certainly do not update this place with the regularity that I should, so a Charles Nelson Reilly-sized THANK YOU to everyone who has bothered to stick around at all and is reading this right now!

Wow. Still so ornery after all these years. And still such poor penmanship! I suppose it's nice that some things remain the same.

Anyway. While I have been woefully neglectful here, I have been active elsewhere, and I'm not just talking about my jazzercise classes. I still write for Kotaku, and my name is gonna be popping up in a few more places soon. I've been thinking about maybe starting an email newsletter thing since I'm not doing much social media anymore but I want people to stay informed of stuff I'm doin' if they want to stay informed. You know, maybe once a month? With links and one of my grandma's favorite recipes? Okay, I would just be copying recipes off of Triscuit boxes, but still, what do you think?

Hey, speaking of things I did! Alexandra West's book about the 1990s teen horror cycle, appropriately titled The 1990s Teen Horror Cycle, is out in the world! I wrote the foreword for the book and it was truly an honor. The book is a terrific look at a subgenre written off by many horror fans and I'm super proud to be a part of it. Here it is, with a Freddy Krueger candle for scale.

Hmm what else what else. Oh, the ongoing lawsuit for the rights to the Friday the 13th franchise has finally cockblocked the video game as well: publisher Gun Media announced today that there will be no future DLC or content for the game. They had a lot in the works, including Jason X's Uber Jason and a Grendel map, but that's all taken a machete to the face. Friday the 13th: The Game was–and still is, they'll continue to support the game and fix bugs for the foreseeable future–a good time, but what a troubled year it had. Why, it's almost as if the game had a death curse on it. If only we'd been warned!

Hey man, if you've got a Friday the 13th itch, you can scratch it with a copy of Death Count. I am just saying! And also, I mean that metaphorically. Don't do unspeakable things with my book!

Actually, do do unspeakable things with it. In these trying times we all need to take our joy where we can find it.

I've been thinking about doing a monthly Final Girl podcast. On the one hand, the last thing this world needs is another podcast! Especially since, if this blog is any indication, it would be a nonsensical mishmosh shitshow. On the other hand, a friend keeps haranguing me to do one because he would listen whilst he's bored at work, so I would have one guaranteed listener, and I do love attention. What do you think? Tell me your thoughts concerning this! Again, I know. Another fucking podcast. But honestly it's the closest I'm probably ever going to get to living the Stevie Wayne life I so covet and I should probably just take the shot.

I think that about wraps it up for now! Happy Anniversary/Birthday to Final Girl, and Charles Nelson Reilly bless us every one.

Ha ha ha! What a rascal.

Things to Wear, Things to See

Hello! Happy Friday the 13th to you. How will you be celebrating? Playing the game? Watching A New Beginning yet again? Let me tell you, friends, ever since I began loving Part V, my life has improved in countless ways. My hair is shinier and fuller, my IQ is up nearly three-quarters of a point, I am wary those damn enchiladas, and I now carry a picture of myself in my wallet everywhere I go. You could say I'm a hashtag blessed big dildo!

Anyway. Enough about me. OH WAIT IT'S NOT ENOUGH!

First of all, I know you know what's up, which means you're a fan of The Faculty of Horror. It's the horror podcast to end all horror podcasts, so I bet you can guess how stoked I was when they asked me to art up-n-design their limited edition Class of 2018 t-shirt. (Hint: I was wicked stoked!) (Okay that's not so much a "hint" as it is an "answer" but whatever.) And now this t-shirt is available for purchase! When purchased, it will be available for you to wear! ON YOUR BODY!

If you want it FOR YOUR BODY or to put on that weird mannequin you have in the corner of your bedroom (I'm not judging) (okay "weird" is a little judge-y but come on), well, here's the link.

"But what if I want some of your art to celebrate today's holiday but I don't have a body?" you might ask. Well, I would posit that you could gift the t-shirt to someone who does have a body. But! If you are only thinking about yourself, today is the perfect day for me to remind you about my book Death Count: All of the Deaths in the Friday the 13th Film Series, Illustrated. Buy it and see what someone probably called "Okay"!

As always on this most holy of days, I wish you all a ki ki ki and a ma ma ma.

Princesses from Another Castle

I you do not follow me at Kotaku, well, I figured I would let you know about some of my recent posts over there as I've been busy. Perhaps something will be of interest to you! Or not, who can say. It's your life, man, be interested in whatever you want.

Today I've got a piece called Video Games, According to Horror Movies, a look at some of the ridiculous (and often hilarious) ways games and game developers are portrayed in horror movies. Films like Brainscan, Stay Alive, Nightmares, and Hellraiser: Hellworld all get it delightfully wrong and I couldn't be more pleased.

Also, Hellworld is the EIGHTH Hellraiser movie and it is not the last. It's shocking just how massive some of these franchises are–like, everyone knows there are more Friday the 13th movies than you could count on all of your fingers (I assume). But there are almost 20 Amityville movies! How can that be? And don't get me started–don't even get me started–on Witchcraft. Last I knew they were up to Witchcraft MCMXVIII.

I also wrote a piece about the current state of horror games (spoiler alert: it's pretty dang great!). Basically there's a shit ton of good stuff out there in every imaginable subgenre. It parallels the ebbs and flows of the horror film industry, to an extent: when "corporate"/big budget stuff gets too bland and fans get tired, the indies experiment with new ideas and make it all feel fresh again.

I done did my first review of a AAA, The Evil Within 2, huzzah and hooray! (spoiler alert: it's pretty dang great!) I loved it. Fantastic open world-ish survival horror. If that's your bag at all, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

It's all fulla nope.

I wrote a bit about a recent Friday the 13th: The Game update, although since then there's been another update that adds Fox as a playable character and I don't even know why I'm still writing here when I could be playing as Fox?

Finally, I wrote a list of horror movie recommendations for horror game fans. You know, if you like this game, watch this movie kind of stuff. Of course, the inverse also applies–if you're a fan of one of these movies, maybe you'll enjoy the game. It's not 1:1 stuff, like "If you enjoy playing Resident Evil, watch Resident Evil!" because man, what a boring list that would be. It's more moods and vibes and maybe some lesser known films, so maybe someone somewhere got introduced to something great and then my life will feel complete.

It's been a great SHOCKtober all around, and it ain't over yet!

Happy Friday the 13th!

Wow, a Friday the 13th in October. I can't think of a mo better day to make this announcement:

I have written-n-drawn a book about Friday the 13th and it's now available! Available to buy! You can hold one, clutch it to your bosoms and tell it all your secretest secrets!

Based on my Death Count tumblr of long ago (well, it started in 2014, I guess that's long ago enough), this book features each death in the series illustrated in full color, as well as writing about each film, a foreword by the inimitable Alexandra West, and even MORE artwork besides. More than 120 pages in all!

If all of this isn't enough to tempt you, look what these fine folks have to say:

"Stacie has always been one of my favorite weirdos. She's funny and smart and draws cool horror stuff. Buy it. Be smug." – Lena Headey, who is undoubtedly best-known for her role in the 2005 film The Cave.

But wait, there's more!

Okay, so if I've convinced you, here is the link to the Amazon listing for the book where you can buy it directly! The Kindle version will be available next week...I'll be sure to update this when it's ready.

Also I am taking pre-orders for a limited sketch edition. $45 will get you a copy of the book with a full-color sketch inside. Shipping is included, but this sketch edition is for folks in the United States only. Sorry international friends, shipping is a real (costly) drag! If you are interested, you can Paypal me at stacieponder (at) gmail dot com. Make sure to include your address and which character you'd like me to draw for you–just a character name, only characters from Part One (1980) through Jason X please!

Again, the sketch edition is a pre-order, and I'm only doing 25 of them! Once the list is full I'll get crackin' and mailin' 'em out. I'll update here when they're ready to be shipped.

[SKETCH EDITION SOLD OUT!]

Some folks may be interested in a signed copy of the regular edition–if that's the case, simply Paypal me the cost of the book ($19.95) and I'll mail you a copy of Death Count with my name scribbled in it. Again, shipping is included but it's for the US only.

[SIGNED EDITION SOLD OUT!]

I think that's it? How exciting. A book!

some things

Thanks to everyone who sent in their Top 20 favorite horror movies for the upcoming SHOCKtober celebrations. I'll begin counting them down on October 1 with new chunks o' lists appearing every day throughout the month. I don't really want to spoil the results, but I have to say that I'm super surprised The Bye Bye Man placed first by a wide wide margin, man. Guess it's a already a bonafide genre classic!

I recently spoke with the fine folks over at Achievement Oriented about Night Trap and scary video games and more, and I think it was good? You'll have to listen and tell me. I always go into a kind of fugue state when participating in these types of things, like I talk and my soul leaves my body and I keep talking and my soul looks down and is like "GIRL STOP YOU'RE LOSING THE PLOT" but I just keep going and then when it's all over I have no idea what went on or where my pants ended up. HASHTAG BLESSED.

And if that's not enough vidya games for ya, I also ranked Resident Evil games by their number of platform appearances over at Kotaku. It's kind of a post for Resident Evil nerds, aka it is a post for me.

Finally SHOCKtober is almost upon us! It's gonna be a good month, I think. Daily listing here at the ol' FG, some more surprises in store at the ol' FG, and some good content planned over at the ol' Kotaku that'll tie horror movies and horror games together. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

News You Can Use!

Dudes and y'alls, we all know that The Internet is the place to be. But sometimes one wants to hold The Internet their bosoms, yes? To carry it around and read it until one falls asleep in its arms not to sit in front of a computer all the time, but to have a tactile Internet experience anywhere one chooses. That is when one must turn to "books."

SO RUDE, ALWAYS SO RUDE.

Look, yes, fine, one can have a tactile Internet experience anywhere at anytime these days, and I am not just talking about Grindr. Phones are pocket computers, but who cares? They're just a fad! Books are where it's at, man. Books will be there for you after the apocalypse when there is no more electricity! Books. They're great.

Speaking of great books (what are the odds?) here's one:

Yes indeed! Alexandra West–surely you know her from the Faculty of Horror podcast, or any one of the million places she writes for (Famous Monsters, Shock Till You Drop, etc forever) lays down some smart writing about one of horror's most maligned eras. And YES that is my name there–surely you know me from what you're reading right now–credited with the foreword. I'm really excited about this! I'm sure you are, too, but here's the skinny if your appetite needs further whetting:

Many critics and fans refer to the 1990s as the decade that horror forgot, with few notable entries in the genre. Yet horror went mainstream in the ’90s by speaking to the anxieties of American youth during one of the country’s most prosperous eras.

No longer were films made on low budgets and dependent on devotees for success. Big studios produced summer blockbusters that made careers and big box office returns. Horror found its way onto magazine covers, fashion ads and CD soundtrack covers. “Girl power” feminism and a growing distaste for consumerism defined an audience that both embraced and rejected the commercial appeal of these films. This in-depth study examines the youth subculture, history and politics of the era, focusing on such films as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), Scream (1996), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), Idle Hands (1999), and Cherry Falls (2000).

The 1990s Teen Horror Cycle will be available this winter from McFarland Books. Pre-order available here. Take that, you lousy computer phones! Books rule!

Pressing Start

As everyone knows, horror and video games are two of the greatest tastes there are, and so fuck yes they taste great together. Adding me to that beautiful mix is a bit like adding cilantro to an already-delightful dish. Perhaps I will bring out some extra, even more wonderful flavors! (Is that how food works?) Or, if you are my ex's mom, perhaps you will say NO THANK YOU and cast me from the already-delightful dish right into the garbage because you find that for some reason, I make everything taste like pennies.

What I'm getting at is that I am covering the horror beat for Kotaku! (That's a video game site, in case you didn't know.) Yes, like the love child of Forrest J Ackerman and Lois Lane (I WISH) I'll be bringing you...well, horror game related...you know, stuff. Hot scoops and the like.

My first piece went up today, and it's all about counselors killing other counselors in Friday the 13th: The Game. At the risk of sounding like some total loser who enjoys things, I'm definitely pretty excited about the gig.

PS: throwing me in the garbage because I make everything taste like pennies is an insult to me and more importantly, an insult to pennies

Now listen up!

Please, if I may speak for every single horror fan in the world, let me say this: horror fans never shy away from a bad movie. Sure, some of them are rage-inducing (for some examples, I suggest perusing the succinctly titled "go fuck yourself" tag). But there is something about a delightfully bad movie, movies made completely in earnest that just don't work that is so endearing and entertaining–your Shark Attack 3: Megalodons, your Nail Gun Massacres–that are a cause for celebration amongst horror fans. We embrace them but hard and spread 'em around like the very best herpes.

What I find fascinating, though, is when the non-horror fans–you know, the squares–weigh in. Nothing, then, is off-limits from their critical eyes! Classics aren't safe! No movie is unassailable! Our top tens and unholy grails are laughed at, put down, and scooped out right out from under us like yesterday's cat litter. While horror fans are not a monolith by any means, there's still a canon, right? Stuff like...oh, I don't know...Suspiria. A total masterpiece! Yeah yeah, the plot is thin and some acting is dodgy but who cares? Suspiria rules!

Then an outlander comes along and goes, "Nah, it's bad."

"But but...look at it!" you cry sneer. "It's...just...look at it! And that score!"

"Yeah, I get that. But still, it's a bad movie," they respond. And then you start to question everything! Is it bad? Can it be legitimately brilliant and legitimately not so simultaneously?

Okay, so instead of all of this playing out hypothetically, you can listen to it all play out for real! That's right, I was a guest last night on The Download, a show out of Chicago's WGN Radio, and we talked about bad movies, good-bad movies, the best bad movies, and lots more in between. Get it in your earholes by CLICKING RIGHT HERE.

Listen! As I lose my mind when someone suggests that Candyman is bad. Thrill! As I try to spread the gospel of Its Holiness Cathy's Curse.

Geez Louise, I love Cathy's Curse. So much so that...well, check this out:

Toot toot, there is the sound of my own horn. That's right, I honk it proudly and loudly because being quoted on the new Cathy's Curse Blu-ray and DVD is like a dream come true....and in this workaday world, we need all the joy we can get before the sun expands and consumes us. (YES there is a restored 2k Blu-ray of Cathy's Curse, can you believe it? What a time to be alive!)

Here is the thing about being on that radio show, though: they referred to this here Final Girl as being, well, dead. I formerly had this blog and all. I suppose that's sort of true, as I did officially put it on hiatus some time back, but...man, you guys, it really, really bummed me out hearing that. It actually gave me the sads to think about this site in the past tense (I mean, I have posted a couple of times since the hiatus), to act like it's dead or talk about it like it's not standing right there, hello, listening to us. So I don't know. I think I should do something about that. My horror feelings took a nosedive for a while there, a long while, but the flames have been fanned over the last couple of months and maybe it's time to get the band back together?

But anyway. Suspiria. Bad? But...just...just look at it!

screencaps courtesy Screenmusings

Hi, hello

Hey there! How's it going? How have you been? You look great! That's a really great item of clothing you're wearing, there, it really compliments your face. I mean it!

I also mean to again say thank you thank you for all of the incredibly kind comments on my last post. I was going to say "my last–and I do mean last!–post" because it was a farewell/I'm indefinitely hiatusin' for sure post. But since I'm writing this now, I guess it wasn't the LAST last post, right? Hmm. I did say I'd poke me noggin in now and again if I have something worth pokin' me noggin in for, so I suppose it's fair to say that we might not know what the actual last post is until I'm dead. Unless maybe I can update from the great beyond...? Boy, I bet you've sure missed my deep philosophizing. Yes, I still contain multitudes, etc etc.

Anyway. What's got me dusting this place off for a moment is: it's getting to be Fall up in here! Skeletons at the grocery store and horror on the brain...scary times. Scary times, my friends! And to help get in the mood for the most wonderful time of the year (as if we're not all always in the mood for it), I wrote a little piece o' interactive horror fiction. Yeah, fiction! Yeah, interactive! That means if you wanna read it, you're gonna have to do some clicking. It's short–maybe a five-ten minute read–and there is audio on the first and last pages. I don't normally write fiction, and I certainly don't do any kind of...web design? Whatever it is I did to get the story to do what I wanted it to do...so I'm pretty satisfied with the result. That's right, I said it!

So. Give it a read if'n you want to. The link is below. I'm sure I'll make my way around these parts again before you can say...I don't know. Say whatever you want! Run your own damn life!

the bed

SHOCKtober: The Week to Come

It's the final countdown! Do do do doooo, do do do do dooo, do do do doooo, do do do do do do dooo. (Ugh, I really don't want that song stuck in my head all day, sorry if it gets  stuck in yours.)

Also, sorry if your SHOCKtober ends up feeling woefully incomplete because I skipped out on the weekend, but life occasionally happens. What matters is that we're here now, and it's all winding down already, can you believe it? I mean, you probably can because at this point in your life you're fully aware of how time works, but still. It went by quickly and we're all older now. Wiser, maybe. We've been through something, my friends, and it ain't over yet.

Before I get to the month's final lineup (do do do doooo...dammit!), however, here is some news you can maybe use:

The fine fellows of the BoneBat podcast kindly asked if I would contribute to their recent "horror in space" episode, and I sure did! I wrote a list of five franchises that should get all spaced out (and the ways in which they can do it), and then they read that list on their show. If you want to hear said list, well, it starts around the 1:06:00 mark in Episode 136. Check it out, and thanks to the BoneBat crew for including me!

Also, I got to talk to The New York Times about Final Girls, and that was super dope. You can read it right here! Giving props to Ginny Field in The New York Times, what a world, what a wonderful world.

Okay, that's all the Me News I have right now. Without further ado, here's yer lineup–when I'll be talking about what–for the rest of the month. SHOCKtober, we hardly knew ye!

Tuesday 10/27 - HOUSEBOUND (2014)
Wednesday 10/28 - BENEATH (2014)
Thursday 10/29 - ZOMBEAVERS (2014) (I know...I KNOW. But I have my reasons, I promise.)
Friday 10/30 - HELL (2011)
Saturday 10/31 - DEAD WITHIN (2014)

Now is as good a time as any...

...to make a wee bit of an announcement-thing, sort of a "Hey, this is happening so your eyes–keep them peeled!" Although honestly, now that I've started typing this, I am worried this is like a "save the date" email, or maybe when someone releases a trailer teasing the release of a trailer and you think, "Why not just wait for the thing itself and tell me about it, you assholes!"

So basically, maybe saying this now makes me a bit of an asshole? And maybe my penchant for calling people who invite me to things "assholes" is the reason why I don't get invited places? Or do you think that's because they're jealous of me? They're probably jealous.

Anyway, it was mentioned in the comments a few days ago, so I figured I'd might as well mention it on the "front page", as it were. Extry, extry, read all about it: I've been commissioned to write a book–well, a monograph, really, you know, like those things published by the BFI? About movies? They're these cool pocket-size works, running, oh, about 125 pages or so. I've got a few, like one about Night of the Living Dead, and one about The Birds (written by Camille Paglia! Can you believe that shit), and–about Martyrs. Yes! I've been telling you for years that I'm going to write about it, and now here we are. And instead of a blog post, I am writing a shit ton about it! It's super exciting. Super. I am so excited. Martyrs. Fuck yeah!

That's the opening of the book: "Martyrs. Fuck yeah!" Pretty good, right? *brushes off shoulders like a cool person*

Just kidding, that's not how it starts. But Martyrs, though. Fuck yeah!

It'll be published through Electric Dreamhouse Press, a new cinema imprint from PS Publishing. The lineup is killer, I have to say, and I'm proud to be a part of it and I want to dig in to all of these, because would you just look at the movies and the writers? WOULD YOU JUST LOOK?

EYES WITHOUT A FACE – Michael Brooke
THEATRE OF BLOOD - John Llewellyn Probert
CARNIVAL OF SOULS – Stephen Bissette
MARTYRS – Stacie Ponder
DEATHLINE – Sean Hogan
DRESSED TO KILL – Mike Sutton
THE KARNSTEIN TRILOGY – Angela Slatter
THE TENANT – Kevin Jackson
SINISTER – Mark Morris
FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED – Dennis Cozzalio
LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH – Lynda E. Rucker
ISLAND OF LOST SOULS – Jonathan Rigby
THE UNHOLY THREE – Johnny Mains
THE FURY – Howard S. Berger & Kevin Marr
MARTIN – Jez Winship
TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME – Maura McHugh
BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW – Kimberly Lindbergs
ERASERHEAD – Anton Bitel
THE BRIDES OF DRACULA – Richard Harland Smith
SPIDER BABY – Stephen R. Bissette
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE – Stacie Ponder
BLACK SUNDAY – Angela Slatter
THE DEVIL RIDES OUT – Maura McHugh
BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA – Mike Sutton
FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE – John Llewellyn Probert
THE HILLS HAVE EYES – Richard Harland Smith
VALERIE & HER WEEK OF WONDERS – Jez Winship

Kimberly Lindbergs on Blood on Satan's Claw? Gimme gimme! Richard Harland Smith on The Hills Have Eyes? Is this a dream? A whole volume dedicated to Let's Scare Jessica to Death? Did I die and go to the afterlife or what. And yes! I am also writing about Slumber Party Massacre down the line. I'm so psyched. 95 pages will be dedicated to the pizza scene, I promise.

So the imprint is in its infancy, but here is the gist. You can email and, like, get emails and interact with the Facebook page if Facebook is something you do.

ELECTRIC DREAMHOUSE PRESS, a new cinema imprint from PS Publishing and Editor Neil Snowdon (We Are The Martians: The Legacy Of Nigel Kneale), specialising in Cult and Genre Cinema. 

Kicking off with MIDNIGHT MOVIE MONOGRAPHS, an ongoing series of in-depth writings about the less reputable side of the cinephile universe, and bringing together genre authors, film-makers and some of the most interesting critical voices in the field, this is passionate, incisive, entertaining film writing of the highest order. If you have a taste for Cult and Genre movies, this is for YOU. 

Pre-Orders are not yet available (release dates TBA), but you can register your interest by emailing: editor@electricdreamhouse.co.uk or Liking the Facebook Page and leaving a comment.

This is exciting, right? You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS.

Wherein I Say Things

Friends, Romans, non-Romans, lend me your hearing parts so I can blast some words from my mouthhole into your earholes! Even though given that this is a blog and not an assembly, it's more like I'm blasting words from my fingers (fingerblasting, yes, I said it) to your eyeballs but you know what I mean! But for real, lemme tell ya. I have been in a total funk for, like, too long, too many months, like more than a year. A year! And sadly, I don't mean "funk" like I have traveled back in time and now I am a member of Parliament. On the upside, I don't mean "funk" like body odor, either! (At least I don't think so, no one has dropped any hints like handing me some Secret or something, nor has anyone come right out and said "YOU STINK, TAKE A BATH." But I worry, I really do.) No, I mean "funk" like "the sads."

I'm not going to go into all the whys and whyfors of it, nor is this some bid for some "Please, DO cry for me, Argentina!" action. I'm only bringing it up because this Funk of At Least 40,000 Years has, amongst other things, meant that my work has majorly suffered across the board. And that work includes Final Girl! It's hard to create when you find that you no longer care. But I am trying to care, because I want to care, because I want to create.

So, I'm making changes to help myself along, which will in turn help the process along. One of those changes came earlier this week, when I fingerblasted (aw yeah) the Final Girl Facebook page right out of existence. Those of you who were a part of it may have known this already. I had some fun there for sure, but I've come to realize that overall, it contributed to my funk. Instead of writing something on Final Girl, like an actual review, I would simply take to Facebook and post, like, "This movie was pretty good" and that would be that. Some folks might comment. The end. What a cop out on my part! And so stuff continued to spiral into that funky ouroboros my life has been of late: I feel bad because I'm not creating, but then I'm not creating because I feel bad. It is the worst cycle, a real shit-fest penny-farthing of existence. Again, this is where fingerblasting (I'm just going to say it as much as possible apparently) Facebook comes in. I'm breaking out of that "but if it's not on Facebook no one will know" box I'd put myself in, with a "well then who fucking cares, I'm just going to do this because I want to, and if no one knows then tough shit for them." I hope it helps. I think it will.

To help kick off this "fuck off, funk" thing I'm trying, I say let's have an event. Starting Monday, let's have...

VHS Weeks are always a lot of fun. This one should be no different, and it's not going to be one of those lame-ass five day "week"s, either. We're talking seven days of hot, hot videotape action! Here's the lineup- now don't go getting so excited that you don't sleep all weekend in anticipation!

MONDAY: Shadow Dancing (1988) - I don't know that this one will be "horror" per se, but I can't wait
TUESDAY: Valentine (2001) - I know I've seen this, but I don't remember a thing about it
WEDNESDAY: Nude for Satan (1974) - FINALLY
THURSDAY: Leviathan (1989) - I just love the fact that "underwater horror" was a thing for a while
FRIDAY: Dagon (2001) - can't believe I haven't seen this one yet
SATURDAY: Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) - ditto
SUNDAY: Q- The Winged Serpent (1982) - FUCKING DITTO

That's a sweet-looking bunch of movies, no? YES. A little something for everyone, or at least for all the awesome people.

Okay then. I hope to see you around these parts more often! As always, thanks for reading, you're the knees.

some things

Hey guys, are you ready to hear about some things? Some things, yeah! Woo! Get ready, 'cause here are some things:

• I've been doing some writing in other places. I figured it's time to resurrect and once again sporadically update over at my video game blog, Jill Sandwich. If you like games, check it out! If you don't like games, what the heck is your problem, they're great! Also, last week I started a new blog/project thing that I'm super duper wicked excited about: Dallas Reviewed, in which I'll be reviewing every episode of Dallas in chronological order. If you've been reading Final Girl for more than two minutes, then you know how much I loves me some Dallas. It's a ton of fun to write, so check that out if you're so inclined. It updates on Fridays.
• I've been doing some art in other places. Once upon a long ago time, I did some stick figure illustrations of the death scenes of some Friday the 13th movies. Well, I've grabbed a hold of that idea again and I'm rebooting/revamping/rewhatevering it, in color even. I made a new tumblr for it and everything; Friday the 13th: Death Count updates just about every day, so yes...there's another thing to check out if you so desire.

• My webcomic, RPG, has at long last started up again, huzzah! For the foreseeable future, it will update on Mondays.
• Apparently that Michael Bay/Platinum Dunes-produced remake of The Birds is on again. You remember it, don't you? We clutched our collective pearls about it seven years ago. As it never came to be, I assumed that after all my trying, I'd finally wished something away to the cornfield. But noooo! It's back! I've mellowed much on the notion of remakes over the last seven years- if I don't want to see something, I just...you know...don't- but still, I feel the allure of outrage tugging where my heartstrings should be. It's the kind of project that should be put down before a single dime is spent on it. It's one of those, uh, whaddayou call 'em...an abomination! Yeah, that's it. Fart on you, Michael Bay/Platinum Dunes-produced remake of The Birds.
• In Movies That Shouldn't Be Farted On news, I partook in a delicious double feature last night: Hard Candy and Brian De Palma's Passion. The former is a fantastic character piece, all tense and claustrophobic. Has Ellen Page ever been better than as Hard Candy's Hayley? I say to you no, no she has not. It is an uncomfortable delight for sure. 

As for Passion, well, my goodness. It was an indulgent hot mess, I loved every minute of it, and I cannot wait to watch it again.