Holy crap, y'all, yesterday was intense! Even just
typing about it has me reaching for a quaalude. Okay, maybe my barbiturate addiction has me reaching...but still, yesterday was full of action. Leatherface defeated Madman Marz in landslide fashion, garnering 91% of the votes. Mrs. Voorhees and Angela were neck and neck at 50% each all day, until a few Angela fans rallied and nudged her to a 51% victory. And in a stunning upset- STUNNING I SAY- #13 seed Naked Space Vampire handily defeated #4 seed Carmilla. I thought for sure the classic lesbian vampire would trounce that brash young sci-fi upstart, but I learned a harsh lesson: never underestimate the power of a full-frontal crystal nudie.
Here's your updated bracket, reflecting all of yesterday's highs, lows, and creamy middles (a printable blank one can be found
here):
Okay, let's get to it. You have a lot of voting to do, friends, because we're gonna finish out Round One. Go, team. Go.
Man, these guys really look alike, don't they? Beyond aesthetics, though, there aren't many similarities between Freddy Krueger of
A Nightmare on Elm Street and
The Burning's Cropsy. Sure, you might think Freddy will walk away with an easy victory here, but may I remind you: nobody ever called Cropsy a "
burnt-faced pussy"!
Ah, Billy of
Black Christmas and Harry Warden of
My Bloody Valentine: two of my favorite wackadoos. Glad I don't have to choose between 'em!
Poor Kenny (Terror Train). He's humiliated right into mental illness, he kills a bunch of people whilst looking like Gene Shalit, and he ends his miserable life with a resounding SPLAT on the ice. And now he's going to be handily defeated by one of the most- if not THEN most- iconic movie psycho of all time. I know, I know, DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN and all that, but I think it's safe to say. You're welcome to THRILL ME with an upset, though, voters!
Okay, now shit gets real.
The Swarm is an amazing piece of bloated animals-run-amok gorgeousness. But can the swarm of
The Swarm take down
Bug's fire-farting cockroaches? Excuse me-
Bug's fire-farting cockroaches that can spell?!
Anyone who's read Final Girl longer than...well, right this second...knows that the vampire puppy has my heart. I love vampire puppy SO MUCH. However, it's but one brilliant thing- the most brilliant thing- in
Zoltan: Hound of Dracula, which ultimately isn't as great as you want it to be.
The Manitou, however, is but one brilliant thing in a movie chock-a-clock full of brilliant things. Seriously, it's a William Girdler-at-his-most-William Girdler production, and it's 100% amazing. Tough call, y'all. Well, for me, anyway. I don't know how you feel about these two and I don't care! Just kidding, of course I care a whole mess.
How can you choose, look how cool they both are in their shades! Okay, yeah,
Leprechaun heads up a certifiable franchise...but we all know that
Rumplestiltskin is
the best movie ever.
Look I love
The Fog and I love
The Exorcist but I have to get out of here because I hate Captain Howdy/Pazuzu's face
I love these rotting, undead fellows. Tarman (
Return of the Living Dead) wants brains, and Nathan Grantham ("Father's Day"-
Creepshow) wants cake. Who can't relate to both of them?
Nosferatu or Mr. Barlow (
Salem's Lot)? I don't what to tell you. Good frickin' luck deciding.
Phantasm's iconic silver sphere takes on what many consider to be the best thing about
Resident Evil: those deadly lasers. This match is sure to be a
cut-up. HA HA HAAAAAA i need more coffee
I don't really have a horse-powered horse in this race, I have to admit.
The Hearse features devil worship, which is always fun, but
The Car features an iconic honk, James Brolin, Kyle AND Kim Richards, and a lady who yells "Cat poo!" Wait...I totally have a horse-powered horse in this race.
The Car rules my world!
I know people love Chucky, but to be honest, I've never been completely enamoured...although I will say it's about time I revisit Child's Play, the film that launched Chuckmania. Still, I'm totally rooting for the underdog here, that brokedown girl version,
Dolly Dearest. The Child of Satan! Denise Crosby giving her best monotone performance! Props,
Dolly Dearest, props to you.
Whee! Round One ends tonight at midnight EST, so vote vote vote while you can.
