Feb 23, 2010
Feb 22, 2010
Bloggenaire: Sarah James, Scare Sarah
Sarah James of Scare Sarah likes to be scared, but she also enjoys scaring others. Does this make her perfect for horror blog ownership or insane...or both? No matter! For now, Sarah is...A Bloggenaire, one whose feelings on Adrienne Barbeau are cryptic! However, that's probably because she's from the U.K. They're a mysterious bunch.
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?
My other half was being rather successful with their blog, so it was jealousy. Yes, that’s right, jealousy.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
I have always had a morbid fascination with blood, torture and electromagneticism. I find the red stuff aesthetically pleasing being a girly girl and all.
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
I do normally find a “bad” movie quite enjoyable. It makes me feel superior.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
Of course I fucking knew that.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Halloween. It’s down my pants right now actually.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
I shouldn’t, but I do.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
If you read it I’ll do pretty much anything.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
I’ve seen him working weekends at my local Woolworths, before it closed down. Now he is begging.
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
C3 Now I know it’s normal to kill your pet and, uh…
10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
How can you argue with Satan’s Cheerleaders? The oldies are the best.
11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
Are you being racialist?
Sarah James, not racialist.
12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
The Fly. A fly and a spider. Ew, gross, right?
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
Serious answer alert. When you’ve seen a film you love so many times there is a part of you that wishes you’d never seen it so you can watch it again for the first time with something new. It did it for me. So shoot me.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
Crying and Cryogenics.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
Because she’s hot, right? That’s why, right?
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do!
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Why, I got my eye on you!
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
What do I get in return?
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
Yeah, the kid in the wheelchair in Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a right pain in the arse.
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
90’s. I love the glossy sexiness.
21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
Vampire.
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night. I threw me pitch fork at your dog to keep quiet. Now something's telling me that you've avoiding me. Come on now darling. You got something i need. 'Cause I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key. Come on now, let's get together In perfect harmony. I got 20 acres and you got 43. Now I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key.
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
I’m winging it.
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EDITED TO ADD: Sarah's got a DVD giveaway contest running on her site until March 5...so if her answers didn't make you want to click over to her blog, then perhaps your greedy nature will. PS - if her answers didn't make you want to click over to her blog, what's wrong with you?
-----------------
Big thanks to Sarah! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button? My other half was being rather successful with their blog, so it was jealousy. Yes, that’s right, jealousy.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
I have always had a morbid fascination with blood, torture and electromagneticism. I find the red stuff aesthetically pleasing being a girly girl and all.
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
I do normally find a “bad” movie quite enjoyable. It makes me feel superior.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
Of course I fucking knew that.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Halloween. It’s down my pants right now actually.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
I shouldn’t, but I do.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
If you read it I’ll do pretty much anything.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
I’ve seen him working weekends at my local Woolworths, before it closed down. Now he is begging.
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
C3 Now I know it’s normal to kill your pet and, uh…
10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
How can you argue with Satan’s Cheerleaders? The oldies are the best.
11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
Are you being racialist?
Sarah James, not racialist.12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
The Fly. A fly and a spider. Ew, gross, right?
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
Serious answer alert. When you’ve seen a film you love so many times there is a part of you that wishes you’d never seen it so you can watch it again for the first time with something new. It did it for me. So shoot me.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
Crying and Cryogenics.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
Because she’s hot, right? That’s why, right?
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I do!
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Why, I got my eye on you!
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
What do I get in return?
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
Yeah, the kid in the wheelchair in Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a right pain in the arse.
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
90’s. I love the glossy sexiness.
21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
Vampire.
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night. I threw me pitch fork at your dog to keep quiet. Now something's telling me that you've avoiding me. Come on now darling. You got something i need. 'Cause I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key. Come on now, let's get together In perfect harmony. I got 20 acres and you got 43. Now I got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key.
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
I’m winging it.
-----------------
EDITED TO ADD: Sarah's got a DVD giveaway contest running on her site until March 5...so if her answers didn't make you want to click over to her blog, then perhaps your greedy nature will. PS - if her answers didn't make you want to click over to her blog, what's wrong with you?
-----------------
Big thanks to Sarah! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
Okay, one last thing...
...from the ME Files. I guess I got 3rd place or something in Bloody-Disgusting's Blog Award thing, so I wanted to say thanks to everyone who voted. That is all.
FINE! Jesus.
FINE! Jesus.
Wicked Lake: A Haiku
I'd seen it in storesbut had not read about it-
I was curious.
Written by the guy
who wrote Going to Pieces,
it had potential-
-but then, ev'rything
has potential, no matter
who's behind the script.
Still, I put it on
my Brain List of stuff to see
one of these damn days.
(also: Audition)
The opportunity came
this weekend, thanks to
Netflix streaming (thanks
Darren!), quite possibly the
best thing in the world.
Wicked Lake began
in an art class. Art students
are quite annoying
(trust me, I was one)
but this guy Caleb was, like,
ULTRA-annoying.
Twitchy, affected-
how could I watch this dude for
ninety minutes? Huh?
His family was worse-
like Leatherface's family,
with 60 percent
more retard, more perv,
more ridiculous...yet far
less interesting.
You may find "retard"
to be offensive; sometimes
it's appropriate.
Anyway, a bunch
of lesbian witches or
something head off to
a cabin for some
weekend lesbian antics.
They make out and serve
to tease the hillbillies
at a gas station; they are
unremarkable
save for their overt
sexuality, because
that makes women strong.
Ever notice that?
I've no problem with sexy
female characters,
but when there's nothing
else to them it seems a l'il
silly. And boring.
Anywho, shortlyafter the ladies get to
the cabin, Twitchy
and his family
show up to get their rape on,
'cause that's what men do.
Ever notice that?
How in these movies it's a
given that men will
rape a woman just
because? Maybe someday a
horror movie will
examine that- but
Wicked Lake is not that film.
Instead, there's a long
period of time
where there's just the threat of rape,
and it's so boring.
I'm not a fan of
rape in movies, but come on.
Holding these women
captive while pointing
knives at them and threatening
violence makes for a
rather dull time. Shit
or get off the pot, you know?
I was getting sleepy.
Then, The Internet intervened. Netflix cut out
and the movie stopped.
I thought to myself,
"I could start the film again,
but, I mean, really.
There are better ways
I can spend my time. Better
movies I can watch...
...or even staring
at the wall, that would be much
better than this crap."
And so, I did not
start Wicked Lake up again.
Maybe it would have
gotten good. Maybe,
but I don't really care much.
The first half hour was
miserable, and
life is too damn short. Naked
lesbian witches,
Going to Pieces,
none of it matters if the
movie just plain sucks.
from the ME files
Friends, enemies, and people who are just sort of hanging around: guess what? Final Girl was nominated for a "Best Blog" Rondo Award! This link (will take you to the massive ballot where you can get your vote on...it's truly an honor to be nominated again this year. Congrats to all the nominees!
Wow. So very harsh. Always so very harsh. I mean, my mom might care! It's not as if I'm going to go on and on about it, I just thought I'd throw it out there and acknowledge the fact that I was nominated because the Rondos are pretty fucking cool. That's all!
In other Are You Sick of Me Yet, Because I Am news, there's an interview with moi running today over at Fatally Yours as part of Sarah Jahier's month-long series honoring women in horror for...umm...Women in Horror Month. I have a vagina and a horror blog, so I qualify. READ! my thoughts on gender in horror! MARVEL! at the ways I feel torn on the issues! SEE! Charles Nelson Reilly continue to keep it real! THANKS! to Sarah for including me!
If you are anywhere near Athens, Georgia this weekend, then perhaps you should consider checking out the Women in Horror Film Festival. Andrew Shearer of the mighty Gonzoriffic is hosting a night of horror shorts by womenfolk as his contribution to WiH Month, which is pretty damn cool of him. I've seen many of the movies that will be screening, and they're pretty fucking rad. Also included will be my very own Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear...and Lip Stick, which I co-directed with Shannon Lark. I really wish I could be there for a night of horror movies and, like, communing and stuff. I haven't even seen Lip Stick yet, so if any of you go, let me know how it is, will ya?
Wow. So very harsh. Always so very harsh. I mean, my mom might care! It's not as if I'm going to go on and on about it, I just thought I'd throw it out there and acknowledge the fact that I was nominated because the Rondos are pretty fucking cool. That's all!In other Are You Sick of Me Yet, Because I Am news, there's an interview with moi running today over at Fatally Yours as part of Sarah Jahier's month-long series honoring women in horror for...umm...Women in Horror Month. I have a vagina and a horror blog, so I qualify. READ! my thoughts on gender in horror! MARVEL! at the ways I feel torn on the issues! SEE! Charles Nelson Reilly continue to keep it real! THANKS! to Sarah for including me!
If you are anywhere near Athens, Georgia this weekend, then perhaps you should consider checking out the Women in Horror Film Festival. Andrew Shearer of the mighty Gonzoriffic is hosting a night of horror shorts by womenfolk as his contribution to WiH Month, which is pretty damn cool of him. I've seen many of the movies that will be screening, and they're pretty fucking rad. Also included will be my very own Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear...and Lip Stick, which I co-directed with Shannon Lark. I really wish I could be there for a night of horror movies and, like, communing and stuff. I haven't even seen Lip Stick yet, so if any of you go, let me know how it is, will ya?
Feb 21, 2010
Feb 20, 2010
Feb 19, 2010
Friday the 13th Victim of the Week: Maddy
Mmm-hmm child, I'm talking' 'bout...
As her pal Robin (Elizabeth Kaitan) notes, she and Maddy arrive at a house on Crystal Lake to have a good time. Unfortunately, Robin also notes that if Maddy wants any attention from boys, she'll need "a little touch-up work". Maddy is rightfully insulted and, after watching Robin cavort with one of said boys, marches upstairs.
Maddy intends to prove Robin wrong by...well, by proving her right. The makeup comes out, the glasses come off, the clothes are changed, and the results cause Maddy to exclaim to no one but her own reflection, "Need a little touch-up work my ass!"
Maddy. I admire your l'esprit de kiss my ass, but let's be honest: you just spent an awful lot of time giving yourself a little touch-up. Apparently the process involved hours of putting on lipstick.
And that's okay! The results are nice, in a terribly '80s sort of way.
Anyway, despite the fact that she goes upstairs for Extreme Maddy Makeover, she ends up downstairs when she's finished, completely bypassing the party. Hearing a noise, she ventures outside into the woods (duh) and promptly loses an earring. She soon finds it, exclaiming "Thank God!" If it was indeed Divine Intervention that led her to her missing piece of clip-on jewelry, then we can only hope that He will intervene when Maddy's straits are far more dire.
SPOILER: He doesn't.
A body falls from a tree right in front of Maddy's eyes; surely the scene is a little blurry to her- she left her glasses inside, after all- but as the body heralds the arrival of Jason Voorhees, Maddy knows to beat feet.
She hides in a shed, and though she's smart enough to take off her high heels, she's still doomed. Jason's soggy arms bust through what's apparently a balsa wood wall, and Maddy meets his friend Mr. Sharpie Farm Implement. While her death takes place off-screen, there's still a moment of shock here: that's not a dress she's wearing, but a skirt and crop top!
Poor Maddy. No one got to see her lovely transformation. Oh well. At least she died young and left a beautiful corpse! R.I.P. Maddy!
As her pal Robin (Elizabeth Kaitan) notes, she and Maddy arrive at a house on Crystal Lake to have a good time. Unfortunately, Robin also notes that if Maddy wants any attention from boys, she'll need "a little touch-up work". Maddy is rightfully insulted and, after watching Robin cavort with one of said boys, marches upstairs.Maddy intends to prove Robin wrong by...well, by proving her right. The makeup comes out, the glasses come off, the clothes are changed, and the results cause Maddy to exclaim to no one but her own reflection, "Need a little touch-up work my ass!"
Maddy. I admire your l'esprit de kiss my ass, but let's be honest: you just spent an awful lot of time giving yourself a little touch-up. Apparently the process involved hours of putting on lipstick.
And that's okay! The results are nice, in a terribly '80s sort of way.
Anyway, despite the fact that she goes upstairs for Extreme Maddy Makeover, she ends up downstairs when she's finished, completely bypassing the party. Hearing a noise, she ventures outside into the woods (duh) and promptly loses an earring. She soon finds it, exclaiming "Thank God!" If it was indeed Divine Intervention that led her to her missing piece of clip-on jewelry, then we can only hope that He will intervene when Maddy's straits are far more dire.SPOILER: He doesn't.
A body falls from a tree right in front of Maddy's eyes; surely the scene is a little blurry to her- she left her glasses inside, after all- but as the body heralds the arrival of Jason Voorhees, Maddy knows to beat feet.
She hides in a shed, and though she's smart enough to take off her high heels, she's still doomed. Jason's soggy arms bust through what's apparently a balsa wood wall, and Maddy meets his friend Mr. Sharpie Farm Implement. While her death takes place off-screen, there's still a moment of shock here: that's not a dress she's wearing, but a skirt and crop top!
Poor Maddy. No one got to see her lovely transformation. Oh well. At least she died young and left a beautiful corpse! R.I.P. Maddy!
Bloggenaire: Zach Shildwachter, Z for Zombies
Y'all, please give a warm welcome to Mr. Zach Shildwachter, proprietor of Z for Zombies! He was born in 1981, which makes me feel incredibly old.
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?
I always have these things I find on the Internet, videos, pictures, and links, that I feel compelled to share with family and friends. I would always include my own brand of humor and thoughts to go along with this, kinda just to twist the knife. My girlfriend said that I should start my own blog, since it was easier than learning HTML to build a website. I guess the Interweb should do what I do; thank her, daily.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
Z for Zombies is a morbid timewaster of unparalleled fun for the whole family. Awkward Creations is where I try to share the aesthetic of my brain for the rest of the world to appreciate and judge. Both are powered by the Internet which is a series of electromagnetic tubes.
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
I’ve been told countless times by my parents and family that I have THEE worst taste in film. I love a bad film. I consider cinema like people; no matter how bad they are, there is some good within them if only you’ll take the time to look. I grew up on spaghetti westerns, monster movies with men in rubber suits, foreign cartoons that used to be called “Japanimation”, poorly dubbed kung fu flicks, action adventures where things blow up for no reason and you never have to reload, and all the cheesy horror flicks I could get away with hiding. I wholeheartedly believe that this is larger what warped my fragile little brain into the state it is now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
That’s pretty nutso. I had a venus fly trap as a kid. It would never eat the flies I caught for it. I thought I could grow my own Audrey II like Seymour.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Clive Barker’s Night Breed. Why it hasn’t received a Director’s Cut release is beyond my comprehension. I can watch it over and over again. David Cronenberg as a serial killer/psychoanalyst is one of my favorite all time slashers. Rewatch his introduction with the surburban family and you’ll know terror. The world of escape offered within Midian is one that hasn’t been explored since. A Never Never Land for Monsters.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
Adrienne Barbeau was the first pair of exposed breasts I ever saw in a movie. The film Swamp Thing was and always will be close to the heart, even its sequel, largely based on that fact alone. Besides becoming an icon in Escape from New York, and The Fog, I had the great opportunity to work with her as a production assistant on the Daryl Goldberg directed film Unholy. Fresh off her amazing turn on HBO’s Carnivale, she was a constant beam of professionalism. It was the first feature film I ever worked on when I moved to New York City and I lucked out to have her in the cast alongside Nicolas Brendon, more notable as Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She was always sweet and cheerful, and never complained, despite that we were shooting in one of the coldest winters that had hit New York in ten years. She performs all her stunts and yes, still looks absolutely amazing.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
My blog(s) offer a peek into the very core of who I am. The things I want to share, I do so as if we were sitting at a bar, sharing a beer. There’s no disconnect with who I am personally and what you read on my sites. I feel that they are both filled with a needed sense of slanted humor and demented beauty in these sad, unfunny times. I strive to present a voice to indie filmmakers, cult fans, and jaded time wasters to unite and share a moment of unrivaled absurdity through my offerings to the Interwebs.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
You would think he would spend his money on a better health plan, but then again he’s dead. Or is he??
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
I’d go with 1981 because that’s when I was born. Every horror film that echoed through that epoch I’ve gobbled up as best as I can find. There seems to be a more invested sense of filmmaking and reckless abandon in the stories presented, and especially with their marketing and advertising. Here the icons of all horror fans grew and matured only to be revisited again.
11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
Sadly most folks won’t watch films with subtitles or in black and white. I say what the eff is up with them?
12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
From my childhood I’d have to say Harry and the Hendersons. Now I’d probably go with Black Sheep or Critters.
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
I think that a lot of people come down pretty hard on the guy that really has no formal training as a filmmaker. He’s a musician that actually survived the days of Grunge. To take the Halloween franchise and generate any interest in it all after both Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J skid-marked it, is a testament to his fan boy prowess. I think that as a fan boy turned director his heart is in the right spot, though he has trouble getting his cameras there.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
I want to have a metal rod inserted into my penis and be buried in a Speed-o. Of course I will also have a custom made clear acrylic coffin that you can see me through. My plans are to be buried vertically, with the top half of my coffin sticking out of the ground. Across the lid, that doubles as my tombstone, will be inscribed with my epitaph that shall read as follows; Here is Zach Shildwachter. Funny Guy.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
Well, she was in Troll.
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
I tried.
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Don’t steal my idea. I bet you’re gonna try to die before me on purpose.
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
You used to be able to find most of the ingredients used by Tyler Durden and his space monkeys at your local grocery store/drug store. I guess we’re the reason they keep the cold medicine locked up now too.
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
Actually, not really. The jerk usually makes the most sense. Stay in the cellar.
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
I really dig that time of late 80s, early 90s, when the Mom & Pop Video Shops still flourished. Back when VHS had just won dominion over Beta, and Laser Discs were around the corner. Cover art was exactly that, art, drawn by a human being. Where posters determined if you rented one movie or two.
21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
I am a listed organ donor on my driver’s license, so I would go with “a Frankenstein”. I’d like to think if I never helped anyone in real life, at least I could do so in death. I’m surprised that most people aren’t, you can’t take it with you. Anytime anyone asks me for identification and I had them my ID, that’s the first thing I say. “I’m an organ donor.”
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside / Words are like weapons they wound sometimes
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
I am the only son, born with 3 sisters. I need your validation through comments and lots of them.
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Big thanks to Zach! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?
I always have these things I find on the Internet, videos, pictures, and links, that I feel compelled to share with family and friends. I would always include my own brand of humor and thoughts to go along with this, kinda just to twist the knife. My girlfriend said that I should start my own blog, since it was easier than learning HTML to build a website. I guess the Interweb should do what I do; thank her, daily.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
Z for Zombies is a morbid timewaster of unparalleled fun for the whole family. Awkward Creations is where I try to share the aesthetic of my brain for the rest of the world to appreciate and judge. Both are powered by the Internet which is a series of electromagnetic tubes.
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
I’ve been told countless times by my parents and family that I have THEE worst taste in film. I love a bad film. I consider cinema like people; no matter how bad they are, there is some good within them if only you’ll take the time to look. I grew up on spaghetti westerns, monster movies with men in rubber suits, foreign cartoons that used to be called “Japanimation”, poorly dubbed kung fu flicks, action adventures where things blow up for no reason and you never have to reload, and all the cheesy horror flicks I could get away with hiding. I wholeheartedly believe that this is larger what warped my fragile little brain into the state it is now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.That’s pretty nutso. I had a venus fly trap as a kid. It would never eat the flies I caught for it. I thought I could grow my own Audrey II like Seymour.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Clive Barker’s Night Breed. Why it hasn’t received a Director’s Cut release is beyond my comprehension. I can watch it over and over again. David Cronenberg as a serial killer/psychoanalyst is one of my favorite all time slashers. Rewatch his introduction with the surburban family and you’ll know terror. The world of escape offered within Midian is one that hasn’t been explored since. A Never Never Land for Monsters.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
Adrienne Barbeau was the first pair of exposed breasts I ever saw in a movie. The film Swamp Thing was and always will be close to the heart, even its sequel, largely based on that fact alone. Besides becoming an icon in Escape from New York, and The Fog, I had the great opportunity to work with her as a production assistant on the Daryl Goldberg directed film Unholy. Fresh off her amazing turn on HBO’s Carnivale, she was a constant beam of professionalism. It was the first feature film I ever worked on when I moved to New York City and I lucked out to have her in the cast alongside Nicolas Brendon, more notable as Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She was always sweet and cheerful, and never complained, despite that we were shooting in one of the coldest winters that had hit New York in ten years. She performs all her stunts and yes, still looks absolutely amazing.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
My blog(s) offer a peek into the very core of who I am. The things I want to share, I do so as if we were sitting at a bar, sharing a beer. There’s no disconnect with who I am personally and what you read on my sites. I feel that they are both filled with a needed sense of slanted humor and demented beauty in these sad, unfunny times. I strive to present a voice to indie filmmakers, cult fans, and jaded time wasters to unite and share a moment of unrivaled absurdity through my offerings to the Interwebs.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?You would think he would spend his money on a better health plan, but then again he’s dead. Or is he??
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
I’d go with 1981 because that’s when I was born. Every horror film that echoed through that epoch I’ve gobbled up as best as I can find. There seems to be a more invested sense of filmmaking and reckless abandon in the stories presented, and especially with their marketing and advertising. Here the icons of all horror fans grew and matured only to be revisited again.
11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
Sadly most folks won’t watch films with subtitles or in black and white. I say what the eff is up with them?
12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
From my childhood I’d have to say Harry and the Hendersons. Now I’d probably go with Black Sheep or Critters.
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
I think that a lot of people come down pretty hard on the guy that really has no formal training as a filmmaker. He’s a musician that actually survived the days of Grunge. To take the Halloween franchise and generate any interest in it all after both Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J skid-marked it, is a testament to his fan boy prowess. I think that as a fan boy turned director his heart is in the right spot, though he has trouble getting his cameras there.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
I want to have a metal rod inserted into my penis and be buried in a Speed-o. Of course I will also have a custom made clear acrylic coffin that you can see me through. My plans are to be buried vertically, with the top half of my coffin sticking out of the ground. Across the lid, that doubles as my tombstone, will be inscribed with my epitaph that shall read as follows; Here is Zach Shildwachter. Funny Guy.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
Well, she was in Troll.
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
I tried.
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Don’t steal my idea. I bet you’re gonna try to die before me on purpose.
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
You used to be able to find most of the ingredients used by Tyler Durden and his space monkeys at your local grocery store/drug store. I guess we’re the reason they keep the cold medicine locked up now too.
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
Actually, not really. The jerk usually makes the most sense. Stay in the cellar.
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
I really dig that time of late 80s, early 90s, when the Mom & Pop Video Shops still flourished. Back when VHS had just won dominion over Beta, and Laser Discs were around the corner. Cover art was exactly that, art, drawn by a human being. Where posters determined if you rented one movie or two.
21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
I am a listed organ donor on my driver’s license, so I would go with “a Frankenstein”. I’d like to think if I never helped anyone in real life, at least I could do so in death. I’m surprised that most people aren’t, you can’t take it with you. Anytime anyone asks me for identification and I had them my ID, that’s the first thing I say. “I’m an organ donor.”
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside / Words are like weapons they wound sometimes
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
I am the only son, born with 3 sisters. I need your validation through comments and lots of them.
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Big thanks to Zach! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
awesome movie poster friday - the 2008 edition, part one!
You know, 2008 was a rather good year for horror. It really was. I'm sure that 20 years from now, I'll be blogging about it much the way that I currently write about 1977 and 1981. I'll try to convince all the kids born in 2012 (assuming the world doesn't end that year) that horror movies were really something back in aught eight. I'll start by linking to this post, highlighting just one of the quality films put out that year. Then I'll link to my October 2010 post about the remake, how maybe if it was simply another adaptation of the source novel that would be one thing, but remaking the movie was a bad idea, and how changing the title from Let the Right One In to Let Me In changes everything.
Or maybe I'll link to my October 2010 post about how I was reticent about remaking such a fine film so soon and how it was unnecessary and how the title swap changed everything, but then I was surprised at how much I loved the new version. Hey, it could happen. No fate!
Or maybe I'll link to my October 2010 post about how I was reticent about remaking such a fine film so soon and how it was unnecessary and how the title swap changed everything, but then I was surprised at how much I loved the new version. Hey, it could happen. No fate!
Feb 18, 2010
The Master of Unlocking returns!
Yeah yeah, blah blah blah, I fucking love Resident Evil. I snatch up any and all RE video games, much in the way a crackhead snatches up...well, crack. Therefore, Resident Evil 5 was a day-of-release purchase for me. I had a lot of fun with it, but as I've said, as a whole it was a bit of a disappointment. Not because it was a bad game, but rather because it didn't feel like a Resident Evil game. It was long on action and shooting and short on exploration and puzzle-solving.
Well! It seems that The People in Charge of That Sort of Thing read my diary, because yesterday saw the release of "Lost in Nightmares", a downloadable scenario that plays directly to my fangirlish desires.
There's a flashback in Resident Evil 5 where we see Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine heading back to the Spencer Mansion...thanks to "Lost in Nightmares", we now get to play through those events. Yes, Chris and Jill are reunited and yes, it feels rather good. Traipsing through the dark, dusty halls of that familiar mansion, low on ammo, killing zombies and reading journals (fellow RE nerds, you'll understand that I was happy to see "itchy...tasty" makes a return appearance)...it's like being in the days of yore. It's scary, and it's awesome. Unfortunately, it's only a scenario. Me want full game!
I understand that franchises need to change and grow to stay relevant, but it's tricky. Don't change enough and you end up like Silent Hill- I still suck those games up, too, but even I admit it's feeling a little stale. But if they change too much, it then feels too unfamiliar. I love this little throwback, though, and I hope The People in Charge of That Sort of Thing continue reading my diary and we see a full game that returns to the series' roots. Resident Evil is the king shit of survival horror, and "Lost in Nightmares" reminds me why that's been true for a decade.
Well! It seems that The People in Charge of That Sort of Thing read my diary, because yesterday saw the release of "Lost in Nightmares", a downloadable scenario that plays directly to my fangirlish desires.
There's a flashback in Resident Evil 5 where we see Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine heading back to the Spencer Mansion...thanks to "Lost in Nightmares", we now get to play through those events. Yes, Chris and Jill are reunited and yes, it feels rather good. Traipsing through the dark, dusty halls of that familiar mansion, low on ammo, killing zombies and reading journals (fellow RE nerds, you'll understand that I was happy to see "itchy...tasty" makes a return appearance)...it's like being in the days of yore. It's scary, and it's awesome. Unfortunately, it's only a scenario. Me want full game!
I understand that franchises need to change and grow to stay relevant, but it's tricky. Don't change enough and you end up like Silent Hill- I still suck those games up, too, but even I admit it's feeling a little stale. But if they change too much, it then feels too unfamiliar. I love this little throwback, though, and I hope The People in Charge of That Sort of Thing continue reading my diary and we see a full game that returns to the series' roots. Resident Evil is the king shit of survival horror, and "Lost in Nightmares" reminds me why that's been true for a decade.
Bloggenaire: Arbogast on Film
Arbogast of Arbogast on Film is a man of mystery. Or maybe he's a woman of mystery- I mean, this is the internet, so who knows for sure? Regardless, its blog is one of those that I read and I get all "Hurrr. Pretty write." I'm just erudite that way.
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?
I was messing around in blogspot one day when SexInfo101.com was down for maintenance to see what a blog would look like if I were to have one and then all of a sudden I had one and needed to fill it with stuff.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
I like to think of it as the coolest three-ring binder ever found in the wake of a trade school massacre. It’s morboelectricomagnetaesthetic!
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
Poorly reasoned, diffidently acted and hastily shot movies can sometimes cut through to the bone of a matter. I’d much rather watch MANDINGO than MISSISSIPPI BURNING or MARS NEEDS WOMEN than CONTACT.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
Say, that is pretty gnarly.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Probably the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, whose time-release genius is revealed to me in glistening chunks year after year.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
When I saw CREEPSHOW back in 1983, somebody was smoking a cigar somewhere in the cinema and my mind branded the stink of that stogie on Adrienne Barbeau’s character, so I can never feel the same MAUDE-era stirrings for her that I once did, through no fault of her own.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
People should read my blog so they know what they’re not missing.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
If Jigsaw is like 90% of people working in horror these days, he was born into money.
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which of the following is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
I enjoy seeing humanity tested and behavior altered by experience. That preference isn’t restricted to horror movies but horror is the genre that really puts the screws to mankind. When filmmakers shortchange humanity, I lose interest. I was watching Carnie Wilson on CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES last night and her retelling of a paranormal encounter got to me because her reaction was specific and personal, not generic or ironic.
10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
1977. In two words – SUSPIRIA, yo.
11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
You will squander your salad years trying to figure out the French. As long as they keep refilling your water glass and coming across with the baguettes, smile knowingly.
12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
THE KILLER SHREWS, natch.
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
For the same reason I watched it – to inflate my own ego.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
After death, I would like to be put into a simple pine coffin and lowered into the mossy New England soil. I really want to rot.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
She has a schoolmarm severity in the way she handles Rupert Pupkin that is beguiling in a low watt dominatrix kind of way. We want her to dominate us in a cream pantsuit. We want to smell the Nescafe on her breath as she berates and belittles us.
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
After I clear customs, I’ll see you in Hell!
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Use it, don’t use it.
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
I’ve never gone wrong with www.KillthePopeofGreenwichVillageYourself.com
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
I loved that character. The wind went out of that movie’s sails when he or she died.
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
The 30s. If only this Depression would inspire such genius.
21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
2) a witch/warlock: Sorcerers have it all. They set their own hours, wear what they like, and when they paw a woman’s breasts it’s religion.
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?
No, because those words were really funny! You should have seen the look on your face!
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
That reading my reviews helps Haiti.
-------------------------------------------
Big thanks to Arbogast! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?I was messing around in blogspot one day when SexInfo101.com was down for maintenance to see what a blog would look like if I were to have one and then all of a sudden I had one and needed to fill it with stuff.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".I like to think of it as the coolest three-ring binder ever found in the wake of a trade school massacre. It’s morboelectricomagnetaesthetic!
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
Poorly reasoned, diffidently acted and hastily shot movies can sometimes cut through to the bone of a matter. I’d much rather watch MANDINGO than MISSISSIPPI BURNING or MARS NEEDS WOMEN than CONTACT.4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
Say, that is pretty gnarly.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Probably the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, whose time-release genius is revealed to me in glistening chunks year after year.6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
When I saw CREEPSHOW back in 1983, somebody was smoking a cigar somewhere in the cinema and my mind branded the stink of that stogie on Adrienne Barbeau’s character, so I can never feel the same MAUDE-era stirrings for her that I once did, through no fault of her own.7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
People should read my blog so they know what they’re not missing.
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
If Jigsaw is like 90% of people working in horror these days, he was born into money.9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which of the following is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
I enjoy seeing humanity tested and behavior altered by experience. That preference isn’t restricted to horror movies but horror is the genre that really puts the screws to mankind. When filmmakers shortchange humanity, I lose interest. I was watching Carnie Wilson on CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES last night and her retelling of a paranormal encounter got to me because her reaction was specific and personal, not generic or ironic.10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
1977. In two words – SUSPIRIA, yo.11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
You will squander your salad years trying to figure out the French. As long as they keep refilling your water glass and coming across with the baguettes, smile knowingly.12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
THE KILLER SHREWS, natch.13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
For the same reason I watched it – to inflate my own ego.14) What are your funereal wishes?
After death, I would like to be put into a simple pine coffin and lowered into the mossy New England soil. I really want to rot.15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
She has a schoolmarm severity in the way she handles Rupert Pupkin that is beguiling in a low watt dominatrix kind of way. We want her to dominate us in a cream pantsuit. We want to smell the Nescafe on her breath as she berates and belittles us.
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
After I clear customs, I’ll see you in Hell!17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
Use it, don’t use it.
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
I’ve never gone wrong with www.KillthePopeofGreenwichVillageYourself.com
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
I loved that character. The wind went out of that movie’s sails when he or she died.20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
The 30s. If only this Depression would inspire such genius.21) Would you rather be:
1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws
2) a witch/warlock: Sorcerers have it all. They set their own hours, wear what they like, and when they paw a woman’s breasts it’s religion.22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?
No, because those words were really funny! You should have seen the look on your face!23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
That reading my reviews helps Haiti.
-------------------------------------------
Big thanks to Arbogast! Kids, if you're a horror blogger and you want to be featured here, then read and find out how. Meanwhile, keep your dial set to Final Girl for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!
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