so i made a movie: LUDLOW, part eight

Catch up on all the previous installments of So I Made A Movie: LUDLOW right here...presented to you in GLORIOUS DETAIL!

Y'all, it's done. DONE. DONNNNNNNE! Way too many moons later, Ludlow is done.

What happened since we last spoke of this a zillion light-years ago? You know, when I left off with my backyard screening of the first cut? Well, here's what happened:

Ludlow ended up with a run time that made it too short to be a feature and too long to be a short. Cutting out, oh, say 40 minutes wasn't an option...so I decided to add to it. But! How to do this without the result feeling blatantly padded?

I had some at least one problem: there are three characters, and I wasn't about to introduce anyone new. Bringing back two of those three characters for more scenes would not have been wise. That just left...a montage set to peppy upbeat music, wherein Krista (Shannon Lark) either 1) trains for a fight or 2) trains for a big dance production. Montage it was.

I kid. There's no montage. What there is, however, is a brand-new scene that is incredibly depressing and adds to the story rather nicely (if I'm allowed to say so). In fact, I think Ludlow 2.0 is better with the new scene than without, and the deliberate padding-osity was avoided. You know what that calls for- a robust round of our friend Briefcase Woman!

Now, you may recall a little fundraising drive I ran in order to...wait for it...raise funds so I could afford to transform the caterpillar Ludlow into the beautiful swan that is Ludlow 2.0- yes, the transformation is that remarkable! Let me say this about the response to the fundraiser: you guys are fucking awesome. Seriously. Every time you turn around today, someone is starting a Kickstarter project or holding out their hand. Man, I got my request out of the way just in time!

Thanks to the generosity of You Awesome People, I was able to cover all expenses. It was rad to do so, so thank you.

Mind you, as this was Ludlow, Shannon and I ran into some problems during the shoot. The largest being that the room we originally shot in was not available- not because it was taken by other guests, but because the air conditioner was broken. It just...figured. We got a room that had basically the same layout, with some minor differences. I tried to shoot in such a way that the change won't be noticeable. Otherwise, the most depressing scene ever was over very quickly and went without a hitch- even our FX! Yes, FX. Scintillating. We were done in a mere couple of hours- so un-Ludlow-y- and that was that.

We shot some some more footage for the new scene in Sherman Oaks, which was strange. I mean, it was fine, but it was a reminder that these characters had...have...whatever...a life before and outside of that weird, shitty motel in the desert. It kind of didn't seem right to see Krista, for example, anywhere but Room 8. Hard to explain and silly, maybe, but there you go.

Anyway, I edited the new footage in and did a bunch of trimmin elsewhere.

And then the movie sat around in the magical negative zone known as "my computer" for several months. Months??! Damn. I have no concept of time.

And then the composer, James Barry, redid the score. He created music for some scenes that previously had none, and dudes- it's so much better now. So much. I can't even tell you. Or maybe I just did. Get off my back!

And then it was done. It's done. It's still in the Negative Computer Zone, really, but it's done. There's no more to do except get it in front of eyeballs that are not my own.

How do I do that? I have no idea. Someone tell me!

wednesday comix: X-FILES/30 DAYS OF NIGHT #1

Ah, the time-honored tradition of the comics crossover. What is it about characters co-mingling that readers love so much? Huh? There's something a little fan-fictiony- or, at least, fan-servicey- about them. Mind you, I'm not complaining! I can see why it would be cool to have, say, the Avengers hanging out with the JLA, and I'll admit to a grudging fondness for meet-ups that make little sense (see: Tomb of Dracula & Silver Surfer, X-Men & Burger King (I wish)). But much like the television miniseries, crossovers are always presented as events that cannot be missed.

Such is the buzz surrounding X-Files/30 Days of Night, the latest release from publishers Wildstorm and IDW. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the properties...first of all, really? You're unfamiliar with two extremely popular franchises that cross several mediums? Man, you've got some sort of fulfilling life outside of pop culture...loser nerd!

Whoa, sorry. Don't know why I'm so ornery.

Anyway, 30 Days of Night concerns some eeeevil vampires who descend upon Alaskan towns during the extended arctic nights. The X-Files features FBI Agents Mulder and Scully, who investigate all the weirdo cases: anything that seems irregular falls to them. Mulder declares "Cryptozoology!" while Scully declares "But...real science!" and a good time is had by all.

In the first issue of this 6-issue miniseries, Mulder and Scully head to Wainwright, Alaska to investigate the brutal, seemingly-unexplainable deaths of sixteen truck drivers. Decapitations and ritualistic displays have Scully thinking "serial killers", while they've got Mulder thinking "monsters". As this is 30 Days of Night-land, they're both right for once.

I'm being cheeky but to be honest, 30 Days of Night and The X-Files are made for each other and I really enjoyed this book. Co-writers Steve Niles (who co-created 30 Days) and Adam Jones set up an intriguing story that seems pulled directly from a prime season of The X-Files. The dialogue of the well-known characters rings true, and the case is certainly one the intrepid agents would handle. The art, courtesy of Tom Mandrake, is appropriately atmospheric: snow and darkness are abundant. The panel layouts are occasionally confusing, however, and the action can be difficult to follow. Still, it's a minor hiccup and damn purdy.

So there you go. If the first issue is any indication, the miniseries will play out like a bonus episode of The X-Files featuring Alaska's nastiest vampires, which is...you know...pretty cool. Hey! This crossover really is an event that cannot be missed! Good thing it's on sale right this minute.

awesome movie poster friday - the WEREWOLF edition!

In case you were wondering, looooove the first poster for An American Werewolf in London so much. I also find it interesting how many of the posters for that film play up the comedic aspects of it; while I see much more humor in it nowadays, when I was a kid there was really nothing funny about that movie. Though it's got a black comedy vein running through it, some of these adverts make it out to be wacky and it's...not. Unless, of course, I still don't get it.

Another thing I don't get: what in movie poster hell is going on with that Pakistani Dog Soldiers one-sheet. Is that Lindsay Lohan?

mah willies

Over at The Horror Digest, friend to both Final Girl and cats André put out a call for everyone's Top 10 Willies-Inducing Moments. Because I like to feel as if I belong, I've done gone and made up mah list! I've talked about plenty of these moments before in one capacity or another, but what can I say? If they gimme the willies, they gimme the willies. Besides, all the world loves a list, right? RIGHT?

The Shining - in the hallways

You know, I could simply write "the whole damn movie" when talking about Shining-induced willies. Every time I watch it, I have a new favorite scene or moment. I'll notice something I've never noticed before, or some little noise will get under my skin. Danny's hallway racetrack never fails to get me, though- and it's not simply because of those damn Grady sisters. It's Stanley Kubrick's use of sound that contributes immensely to the sense of unease at play; the wheels on wood and carpet...wood and carpet... It's the claustrophobic symmetrical framing of the scene. It's the disarming soundtrack. And yes, it's those damn Grady girls.

Black Christmas - the eye behind the door

Jess walks into a bedroom, finds her friends brutally slaughtered...and the killer is hiding behind the door, watching her and whispering to her. The tagline for Black Christmas is absolutely right: if this picture doesn't make your skin crawl, it's on too tight! Also, you're probably a jerk.

Session 9 - Hank returns to the asylum

Hank's greedy nature gets the best of him and he returns to the abandoned insane asylum after work, late at night, to abscond with the jewelry and gold teeth of dead patients. As he wanders the tunnels with only a flashlight to guide his way, he discovers he's not alone.

The Haunting - noises outside the door

Hill House is haunted. Whatever's haunting it stalks the hallways. It's very loud and it's right outside your door, pounding on the walls...

Salem's Lot - Mrs. Glick stirs

My inclination was to choose a Mr. Barlow-centric moment from Salem's Lot- man, that vampire's ugly mug gives me the serious willies every time it pops up. But this scene, in which the dead Mrs. Glick returns to (sort of) life as a vampire, is so full of dread that my goosebumps get goosebumps.

The Fog - Mrs. Kobritz answers the door

Old ladies are not supposed to get killed in horror movies. It's against some sort of law or something! John Carpenter is not afraid to go there, however, so he sends poor Mrs. Kobritz to answer the tap-tap-tapping at her door. Unfortunately for her, it's not an Amway salesman lurking in the fog. It's a bunch of mean leprous ghosts.

Yes, "Amway salesman". Apparently it's always 1979 in my world!

The Blair Witch Project - hands on the tent

I love Blair Witch. There, I said it and I don't care who knows it! It's got some unbelievably frightening sequences- not the least of it is the middle-of-the-night, middle-of-the-woods sound of children laughing...which is immediately followed by hands pounding on the outside of our unlucky filmmakers' tent. So not cool. SO NOT COOL. I like to camp. I have to very consciously not think of this scene whilst doing said camping- otherwise, I will undoubtedly puke my pants.

[REC] - that GD thing in the attic

I think [REC] is terrific. The first time I saw it, I could not cope with the end sequence in the attic. I held my breath. It gave me nightmares. It's still just about too much. It's perfect.

Event Horizon - someone's in the medical tent

Sometimes, all it takes is that all-familiar no one is supposed to be here trope to induce major willies. I'm not sure if it qualifies as the uncanny or cognitive dissonance or what, but that awful feeling that accompanies the thought I'm supposed to be alone here, but I'm not is largely what horror movies are made of for me.

I don't even know if that makes sense- I kind of feel like I simply typed a bunch of words that may or may not go together- but if you know what I mean, then I can tell you that this scene from Event Horizon is a prime example of it.

The Exorcist - that GD face

Is it Pazuzu? I don't know. I don't care. That face that subliminally flashes a few times throughout The Exorcist has frightened me since forever. I hate looking at it. I hate having it on my screen, on my blog. I can't rationally rationalize it away- that it's just Eileen Dietz in makeup. IT'S TOO TERRIFYING TO ME, and now I have to go because of it.

Bloggenaire: Amanda by Night, Made for TV Mayhem

Look, I KNOW. I've been so bad about posting the Bloggenaires that remiss is fifty miles back in the rearview mirror. I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but I think it has to do with how much I suck. The past, however, is the past and I think we should just move on rather than sit here all day trying to figure out who's to blame. I can't think of a better way to do said moving on than to read answers provided by the illustrious Amanda by Night of Made for TV Mayhem!

I thought I had a head for movie trivia- then I met Amanda Reyes. She's a walking cinematic encyclopedia; that sounds obnoxious, really, but it's not at all- in fact, it's awesome. She knows pretty much all there is to know about cool stuff like 70s and 80s horror movies, sex comedies, made-for-TV movies, soaps, and everything in between...and she looks glamorous while knowing it. Just read her blog, will ya? You won't regret it.

1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?

I’d been down the blog road a few times before I started Made for TV Mayhem. Since I write so much about slashers, I think I was getting burnt out and decided to expand a little. But just a little. I started a column at Pretty Scary for Lifetime thrillers and then another column at Horror Yearbook dedicated to erotic thrillers, but made for television movies was always my passion. There’s not a huge demand for these small films, but because I love them so much and because I thought there might be a minimal audience, I decided to take my years of video collecting and reading about TVMs and put it to good use. Originally, my blog was intended only for mysteries, thrillers and horror, but there is just so much stuff worth writing about, so it expanded into all types of films, television shows, etc,… I got some encouragement from fellow bloggers who mentioned me and I could see that some people were genuinely interested in reading about what I was covering. A lot of these films and shows are unavailable, so I started adding stills and trying to throw as much info as possible into the pot. It’s almost become a sort of obsessive archival process. I want to preserve the memory of these films, most of which have largely been forgotten. I think when people read my blog, they won’t get the sense of that intention, but I think they enjoy the trips down memory lane.


2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".

Maybe it’s a morbid obsession but a lot the aesthetics of my blog come from my electromagnetic attitude towards Bert Convy and various other small screen babes.

3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?

This is where I can’t be funny (well, I’m actually hardly ever funny), and I have to use some of that critical thinking college has been instilling in me. First, what is the criterion for bad? I mean, the Mutilator is not a good film technically, but it’s entertaining and visceral and works as a horror film regardless of some of its faults. I think the real question (for me) is, do I like movies that are purposefully bad, and that answer is no. I think there is this new movement among low rent filmmakers who think that if they knowingly set out to make a “bad” movie, they’re making something good a la Ed Wood. But Ed Wood movies were good because he wasn’t trying to make a bad film. There’s your catch-22. His heart and soul (and many an angora sweater) went into making Glen or Glenda or Plan 9 from Outer Space. That’s why, all these years later, his films have endured. I associate the word bad with films by lazy filmmakers, not with movies that try to be good, and just don’t make the grade. I kind of hate to use the Mutilator again, but it applies: it’s got its shortcomings, but the director (Buddy Cooper) put his heart into that fucker, and I love him for it. I watch that movie all the time. As far as I’m concerned, it’s quite good and not bad in any sense at all.

And that was a whole lot of nothing.


4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.

There is this parasite I heard about that gets into your leg and is so long and difficult to extract that someone has to stand over you with a stick and literally roll the parasite out. It takes days.

Also, that Zuni Fetish doll in Trilogy of Terror is creepy!

5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?

This House Possessed. Mostly because Parker Stevenson really needs to be down my pants and I can’t think of any other way to get him there.


6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.

Adrienne played, to the best of my television movie knowledge, the first openly lesbian character in a TVM. In Someone’s Watching Me, directed by John Carpenter, she plays Lauren Hutton’s BFF and pulls no punches with who she’d rather be kissing (and it’s not John!). The relationship is handled so well, her sexuality never overwhelms the platonic friendship between the two women, which is spectacular. I’d say it’s fairly progressive, and pulled off so well because 1) Carpenter knows how to write women and 2) Adrienne is wonderful in the role. There are no aggressive bull dyke stereotypes nor is there any kind of lipstick lesbian pandering. She’s just a woman. One incredible woman. Pretty much like Adrienne is in real life, I would suppose! I mean, she knew Bea Arthur…

7) Why should people bother to read your blog?

My blog is for a very small niche. I’m surprised I get any readers at all (and a big thanks to those who do stop by). Made for television movies are really only of interest to those who grew up on them. And not only that, you have to have a big nostalgia streak and you also have to know my blog exists. It’s all very complicated and like I said, I’m really amazed people come by and then keep coming by. What I think makes my blog stand out is that, as far as I know, it’s the only one that covers this sub-genre as much as mine does. I’m not an expert in the field, but I think my love of made for television movies comes through and anyone with a crush on Scott Jacoby can see that!


8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?

Just like everyone else in Hollywood, he steals the money and the ideas to build those things and then takes the credit! Oh Jigsaw, you silly little minx…

9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.

a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on.
b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself.
c) SOCIAL THEORIES:
1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection.
2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting.
3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.

My Psych 101 class did not prepare me for this! I guess it’s a mixture of a lot of the above. There are definitely parts of the horror community that are like a group and foster community. Kindertrauma instantly come to mind as an online network of people who seem to respect, and more importantly, get each other. For me though, a lot of it is just style. I love retro horror because I love the 70s and 80s and I really loved the way they looked. The women were gorgeous (and actually looked like women), machismo was all over the joint (OK, 80s machismo is questionable), the clothes were FAB (well, until we get into the late 80s, which was just inexcusable) and also, it was all kind of new then. Even retread felt fresh. Now, with a few exceptions (House of the Devil, anyone?), it just feels like it’s been done and been done better. And even though Scream was a masterpiece, I think that self-knowing thing is really hard to pull off and very few films have done it correctly. Also, if I could vent a bit, I really hate the way women interact with each other in horror films today. It’s so antagonistic. In the early 80s, it was a lot more real. I always use Humongous as my prime example. Maybe not a great film by traditional standards, but look at the requisite “slut” character and the final girl. The dynamic is realistic. Hell, even Blood Lake has more realistic dynamics than the horrid Black Christmas remake.

10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?

1981 was the shizz-nit as you kids would say. Good stuff. Halloween II, Hell Night, Home Sweet Home, Happy Birthday to Me, all the H’s are there!

11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?

Honestly, the last French horror movie I saw was Baby Blood and that was about 4 years ago. I’m behind.

12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?

That’s a hard one. I promised myself I’d keep everything fairly TV-centric, so I’ll say Ants! because you just want to yell “Step on them!” and because Moosie Drier gets his (oh Moosie, how I love thee) and because Barry Van Dyke is freakin’ hawt. And let’s throw The Beasts are on the Street into the mix if only for the ostrich in the backyard gag.

13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?

Because with both of those trains going at that speed, you’re sure to see the wreck known as RZ’s Halloween or H2 (if you’re unlucky that is!).

14) What are your funereal wishes?

Parker Stevenson and Scott Jacoby show up and fight over who I loved more.


15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.


Because she is such a self-centered bitch in Death Car on the Freeway and then got even bitchier in Trackdown: Finding the Goodbar Killer. Take a xanax girl!

16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?

If that witch is Kim Novak and this is Satan’s Triangle, I guess it would be “Yikes!” Of course, that’s Satan and not a witch, but you get the point…

17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.

Well, if you can make sure Parker Stevenson and Scott Jacoby show up, I’m ready to say goodbye to this cruel world.

18) Do you know where I can get some lye?

I actually took your question and googled it and got the lyrics to a Notorious B.I.G. song. Here’s a taste: “Anyway I'm up in the motherfuckin spot, so boom I'm up in the pussy, whatever whatever. I sparks up some lye, Pop Duke creeps up in on some, must have been rained out or something *laughing* because he's in the spot. Had me scared, had me scared, I was shook Daddy - but I forget I
had my Roscoe on me. Always. You know how we do.”

Please don’t ask me that question again.

19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?

If you mean Nick in Humungous, then yes! Now that was an historic occasion (fans of the film will hopefully get that reference!).

20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?

That’s tough. I love the TV movies of the 70s, but I love the slasher movies of the 80s just as much. Can I say that’s one era, cuz that’s what I’m going to say.

21) Would you rather be:

1) a vampire
2) a witch/warlock
3) a werewolf
4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically its “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better)
5) a Jaws

Jaws in Jaws 2, cuz he was like Jason, except a shark, preying on young teen girls in hot pants and of course, Keith Gordon!

22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?

If I could turn back time, I’d hit 1982 like it was nobody’s business and who gives a fuck if I hurt anyone? I’m cruel that way.

23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?

I can’t really think of anything, except that maybe it’s your one stop shop for all things Bert Convy.

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Big thanks to Amanda! Stay tuned for another exciting episode of...THE BLOGGENAIRES!

let's do this.

Let's have a Film Club choice- right here, right now. Are you nervous? I am! Okay. Here goes.


Yes, writer/director Ti West's highly-acclaimed 2009 film The House of the Devil is next up! Friends of mine have been raving about it, non-friends of mine have been raving about it. I've had the DVD sitting on a shelf since before Christmas so I think it's time I watched the damn thing. You watch it too, and it'll be just like we're watching it together. It's on NEtflix instant watch right now, if you're all into modern technology of that variety.

So! You write about it and add a link/mention the Film Club in your review, send me a link, and I'll add you to my review. Isn't that easy? Yes! It is! If you've already written about House of the Devil and you still want to play, all you have to do is retrofit your review with some sort of PS- Film Club or something. Still easy!

I'm super psyched to finally see this.

The film: The House of the Devil
The due date: Monday, July 26
The place to send your link: stacieponder (at!) gmail (dot!! (com!!!))

"What's the matter, Trevor?"

"Scared of something?"