Chilling Classics Cthursday: THE WITCHES MOUNTAIN (1972)

Gotta say, The Witches Mountain was one film in the ol' Mill Creek Entertainment 50 Movie Pack Chilling Classics 12-DVD Collection that I was really looking forward to seeing again. Yes, I say this despite the fact that back in 2010 I deemed it "...so, so bad. So bad. Bad. Bad movie." In recent times I'd felt in my heart-place that the problem likely wasn't The Witches Mountain--not completely, anyway--but 2010 me. (Well, 2010 me and the atrocious picture quality standard flowing through the waters of the ol' Mill Creek.) Bits of it that couldn't possibly be bad lingered in my memory, such as the knife-on-wig violence of the film's opening moments, and the leading man's incredible moustache. But more, it's that I know 2010 me rarely appreciated a weird Euro sleaze-adjacent movie that's all about vibes. But 2026 me is so much more cultured, you know? My capacity for continental delights is no longer limited to heat lamp eggs and a corn muffin at the Hampton Inn! Vibes are my vibe!

So, armed with the Mondo Macabro blu-ray edition of The Witches Mountain, I settled in and prepared myself to be sail away into a pure mood (cue the "Orinoco Flow"). 

Knowing in advance that this is a vibes flick helped immensely, as did...you know, being able to actually see (mostly, anyway) what was going on thanks to the power of high definition. All of this made the story, such as it is, a bit more scrutable: To avoid his recent ex-girlfriend, photographer Mario (Cihangir Ghaffari) and his moustache accept an assignment that will take them deep into the Pyrenees. Soon Mario has a meet-creep when he takes photographs of an unaware sunbathing beauty named Delia (Patty Shepard of the 1988 gross-out funfest Slugs). In true 1972 fashion, Delia agrees to accompany Mario for the rest of his adventure. Such is the power of the 'stache!

The pari quickly runs afoul of all kinds of weird happenings, including but not limited to:

-- fog that comes and goes

-- Mario's car getting stolen

-- Victor Israel (from FG fave Horror muthafucking Express!) as a sinister-seeming innkeeper

-- hooded figures spying on Delia in particular

-- a caveman dream...?

-- an old woman who sure seems like a witch living alone in an abandoned village on the mountain

-- creepy goat herders that come and go

Eventually they find the place in the woods where the witches get together and do witch stuff. If you've seen The Witch or Suspiria you know what I'm talking about: They are dancing and singing and holding induction ceremonies! 

Thanks to that there high-definition, I now know the fate of all the characters. I know that Mario's ex is in the witch gang. I know that they had their designs on Delia. And I know that Mario will be shackled in the caveman cave, presumably to be the coven's boy toy.Yes, it's true, thanks to the lousy Mill Creek transfer I was clueless for pretty much all of that back in 2010. No wonder I thought it was bad!

Truthfully, even in 2026 I wouldn't say it's great. The early scenes where we see the aforementioned knife-on-wig violence and Mario's ex sets a child on fire (to be fair, the child killed her cat and then was shit-talking like "You suck and your cat sucked!" so...okay, I'm not exactly saying the child deserved it but I'm also not not saying it!) remain absolutely batshit and baller, but they're also kinda just glommed on to things and don't fit with the rest of The Witches Mountain. I also found that I wanted more vibes from the film--more surreality, maybe, or more eerie atmosphere. The landscape does a lot of the atmospheric heavy-lifting, and I think director Raúl Artigot could have done a lot more with everything that wasn't a pan across the Pyrenees. 

Unfortunately, my mind still wasn't blown by The Witches Mountain, even though I was hoping it would be. But hey, it's not a bad movie by any stretch! At least I get it now, unlike that total uncultured rube who wrote this blog back in 2010.