Sep 10, 2013

amazon one-star reviews: THE DESCENT


Anyone who knows me knows I loves me some The Descent (2005 oh muh gahd, 2005? how is that movie eight years old already). I loved it the first time I saw it, I loved it the last time I saw it (which will not be the last time I see it), and I loved it every time I saw it in between. It's in my Top 20 favorites, and I imagine it will remain there until I am dead and gone. It will remain on the physical manifestation of my list until Blogger vanishes one day due to a nuclear/zombie/SARS/SkyNet apocalypse.


But I am as magnanimous as I am beautiful, and I realize that this terrific film may not be in everyone's Top 20 favorites. That's okay. Variety makes the world and all the Hometown Buffets within that world go 'round.

In fact, The Descent is so far removed from some peoples' Top 20s that they feel it deserves but one star! Out of five! Hey, I may find that to be a crazy notion, but when the critiques are well-reasoned and thoughtful, like this one, I ain't fixin' to argue about it.
I SAW THE MOVIE BUT IT'S BORED AT ALL. ALSO IT'S NOT ENJOYMENT. THE CREATURE WAS STRANGE AND DISGUSTING. I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS GOOD-LOOKING BUT IT WAS NOT. ANYWAY THIS MOVIE WAS A FAILURE.
As I said, it's okay if some folks find The Descent to be not enjoyment. I find it to be do enjoyment, and that's all that matters to me.

6 comments:

  1. I hate it when you put a movie on and it turns out to be bored.

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  2. I think that one qualifies as a serious drive-by one star review. Strange, disgusting and good looking but it's not.

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  3. I don't like my horror movie creatures to be strange and disgusting. I like 'em normal and appealing.

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  4. What an eloquently worded review! haha!

    There's one very strange opinion I heard about The Descent. This reviewer called it a 'sick fucking snuff film', because the main character's husband dies, then she gets caught in a horrific situation! Uh-huh. The strange thing is that this was an otherwise intelligent reviewer, who's a horror aficianado

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  5. I descent from his no enjoyment.

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  6. I'm puzzled how this could get 5only 1 star...unless the reviewer watched the happy-end-f*ckery version. The movie-as-intended ends with such a gut punch, I just wanted to cry. It's a magnificent story of strength despite inevitable defeat, bleakness and despair. 5 stars all the way from me!

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