Jun 11, 2018

Hooray for Everything!

You know how it goes: you make a baby, the baby becomes a bigger baby, and then an even bigger baby.  Such s the case with Final Girl, who turns a whopping 13 years old today! Thirteen. The scariest of all ages except for 666 and 40!

Our Final Girl is becoming a Final Woman, you guys, and holy crapping crap I can't believe how the time flies.

I certainly do not update this place with the regularity that I should, so a Charles Nelson Reilly-sized THANK YOU to everyone who has bothered to stick around at all and is reading this right now!


Wow. Still so ornery after all these years. And still such poor penmanship! I suppose it's nice that some things remain the same.

Anyway. While I have been woefully neglectful here, I have been active elsewhere, and I'm not just talking about my jazzercise classes. I still write for Kotaku, and my name is gonna be popping up in a few more places soon. I've been thinking about maybe starting an email newsletter thing since I'm not doing much social media anymore but I want people to stay informed of stuff I'm doin' if they want to stay informed. You know, maybe once a month? With links and one of my grandma's favorite recipes? Okay, I would just be copying recipes off of Triscuit boxes, but still, what do you think?

Hey, speaking of things I did! Alexandra West's book about the 1990s teen horror cycle, appropriately titled The 1990s Teen Horror Cycle, is out in the world! I wrote the foreword for the book and it was truly an honor. The book is a terrific look at a subgenre written off by many horror fans and I'm super proud to be a part of it. Here it is, with a Freddy Krueger candle for scale.


Hmm what else what else. Oh, the ongoing lawsuit for the rights to the Friday the 13th franchise has finally cockblocked the video game as well: publisher Gun Media announced today that there will be no future DLC or content for the game. They had a lot in the works, including Jason X's Uber Jason and a Grendel map, but that's all taken a machete to the face. Friday the 13th: The Game was–and still is, they'll continue to support the game and fix bugs for the foreseeable future–a good time, but what a troubled year it had. Why, it's almost as if the game had a death curse on it. If only we'd been warned!


Hey man, if you've got a Friday the 13th itch, you can scratch it with a copy of Death Count. I am just saying! And also, I mean that metaphorically. Don't do unspeakable things with my book!

Actually, do do unspeakable things with it. In these trying times we all need to take our joy where we can find it.

I've been thinking about doing a monthly Final Girl podcast. On the one hand, the last thing this world needs is another podcast! Especially since, if this blog is any indication, it would be a nonsensical mishmosh shitshow. On the other hand, a friend keeps haranguing me to do one because he would listen whilst he's bored at work, so I would have one guaranteed listener, and I do love attention. What do you think? Tell me your thoughts concerning this! Again, I know. Another fucking podcast. But honestly it's the closest I'm probably ever going to get to living the Stevie Wayne life I so covet and I should probably just take the shot.


I think that about wraps it up for now! Happy Anniversary/Birthday to Final Girl, and Charles Nelson Reilly bless us every one.


Ha ha ha! What a rascal.