FINAL GIRL explores the slasher flicks of the '70s and '80s...and all the other horror movies I feel like talking about, too. This is life on the EDGE, so beware yon spoilers!

Nov 9, 2006


I'd say that things are back to normal, but sometimes you simply can't go back to normal. You have to learn to deal with a new normal, right? I'm not sure what new normal is yet, but I've reached the point where one must throw one's hands in the air and say "Fuck this noise" and get back in the game. We'll see what happens.

And no, I'm not getting a sex change, in case that's what you were thinking.

So on Halloween I cleverly went to see some movie called Halloween. Much fun was had by all. I've seen the movie so many times it's difficult to be objective about it- it's always been one of my favorites, but watching it this time I couldn't help but think that if I were seeing it for the first time, if I were 54 years younger, there's a chance I would've been bored out of my gourd. It feels like such a relic, despite the fact that it's not at all dated. Aside from Lynda's incessant (and incessantly awesome) "Totally!"s, there's nary a cultural anachronism in the film. At the same time, however, the style of the filmmaking is clearly from another era. It's all build, it's all mood. The thrills and kills are all crammed into the last 20 minutes of a two-hour film. There's no jump cuts, almost no blood...and even at the height of the 'action', it's subdued and calm. It's a masterpiece of horror cinema, but kids don't want masterpieces of cinema, do they? I don't mean the young'uns will accept anything that's fed to them- crap is crap and is generally easily detected, no matter how 'cool' it's made to seem. But pacing in entertainment is vastly different today than it was in 1978.

Which brings me to the forthcoming remake / reimagining / reuintedanditfeelssogoodening of Halloween. A part of me, of course, thinks it's a completely unnecessary venture. Another part of me, however, thinks well, why the hell not? I can't say I have the utmost faith in Rob Zombie after House of 1000 Corpses, but breathing new life into an old flick might not hurt. I know for sure it won't hurt any less than Parts 5, 6, or Resurrection. It's impossible. Critical mass of suckage was achieved with those shitpiles. The bubble burst, so to speak, which clearly plays in Senor Zombie's favor. And no matter what Michael Myers ends up doing on the screen next year, it won't take away from my enjoyment of Carpenter's flick. Who knows, it might even be good. Stranger things have happened. I loved the Dawn of the Dead remake, despite the fact that I was bound and determined not to. In some respects, I like it more than I like the original.

Remember a while back when I mentioned Annie's death scene and the ridiculous face she makes? Well, while watching Halloween in a darkened theatre the big Laurie finds all the bodies scene happened and reminded me about this:

What the fuck? Apparently I need to take a class in...err, death, I my local community college, because I'm wholly unconvinced that people's eyes cross like that when they die. If it is true, I call foul. Doesn't death take away enough dignity without leaving one looking like poor Lynda here? It's as if Laurie has just stumbled upon the retarded sister she never knew she had because her parents keep the girl locked away in a cupboard.



CRwM said...

While I'm disappointed about the lack of a sex change operation, it is nice to have you posting again.

Anonymous said...

If it helps you brighten up my days. I've had some pretty lame days lately, so thanks.

Anonymous said...

As much as I enjoy CRwM's blog, and it IS pretty cool, he's apparently... oh, INSANE!
And please, PLEASE, don't take this as a negative jab at transexuals, but how in the world
can you be disappointed that a chick who likes horror movies, and who inks comic books, prefers to stay a woman in her original packaging, huh?
Unless of course she PREFERS to be penis-equipped. Then, well, there's other issues going on, and well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Anyways, good to have you back, you hunk of woman, you, he said quickly and then nervously ran off for the nearest comment exit.

Des said...

Yay! She's back!

Interesting modern look at Halloween. Don't feel old because you notice the difference between cinematic stylings. The slow build and steady action are things of the past.

I feel old because I yearn for that kind of stuff.


Amanda By Night said...

I yearn for it too. On my webgroup, we were having a discussion about this, and to me, I find it sad that simplicity isn't a factor anymore in movies. Sometimes, the most base films can be the best. The get somewhere inside you and it works. Now everything is too stylized.

Speaking of Faces of Death that are goofy as hell. I remember that the lady who played Legs in TCM2 had to fight with the director on Stepfather 2 to not look like an ass during her death scene. He wasnted her to stick her tongue out! Anyway, it's been so long since I've seen it, I can't remember who won...

Glad to see you back Stacie! Now my lunches can return to normal!

Amanda By Night

Anonymous said...

Faces of Death = Cross your eyes...stick out your tongue...flare your nostrils...wiggle your ears...put your right foot in...put your right foot out...etc.

Stacie Ponder said...

You guys crack me up. No, sorry to say, I'm not gonna get a sex change. Being a guy who likes horror movies and video games and makes comic books is no big deal...I mean it's cool and all, but I'm like a fuckin' unicorn, y'all! Whinny whinny!

Des- I'm with you. It's so odd that being into suspense and build and mood and atmosphere makes one old. These damn kids! Good fer nuthin'!